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| Topic: Skeletons in the closet | |
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id wait like 128 minutes b4 we met not hours
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alright... what one considers a flaw... doesnt necessarily the other would consider it a flaw.... keep that in mind..... sometimes it is purely a discussion on getting to know someone better... your likes and dislikes...to what one might consider "small talk" another might think it is prying......
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Edited by
buttons
on
Thu 07/08/10 02:07 PM
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 i just learned that from talking on the phone with my mingle friend.. a few things i considered flaws about me.. he did not... and somethings i did not consider a flaw well he did.. and wow never looked at it like that before!! communication is key... in a friendship or a relationship...you might not always hear what you like... might not always agree either.. or ever agree.. however to keep an open mind thats how you learn. and grow..even learn about yourself!
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You have met a wonderful person on this site.... E-mail back and forth then begin to chat... In two weeks, you find that you are communicating with each other and no other... You exchange email addys and phone numbers.... 4 more weeks go by and both of you have shared openly through the 128 hours of telephone calls.... You make very clear with the utmost honesty that you have always been faithful and was never sexually promiscuous... You then find out another two weeks down the road that the person you have communicated with was promiscuous and has a life long disease because of a poor choice in their early life. The person called it (the relationship deal breaker).... When is it the right time to take the skeletons out and share???? |
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also something else to think about here.. some people get attached or fall for people faster than others do... and dont share things until they do... rather they called it a deal breaker or not... until they even told you about it there was no deal on their side...so to consider it wrong is in your eyes perhaps not thiers because maybe they werent that far into it yet... really if you are saying it is sexually involved i dont think its anybodys business untill that person they tell they feel close to.. if something was wrong with me like that i would not go blurt it out to everyone why? cause what are they gonna do? unless they can fix my problem it would be no ones business unless i started having feelings for someone. that i thought i may want to have sex with... JMO
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also something else to think about here.. some people get attached or fall for people faster than others do... and dont share things until they do... rather they called it a deal breaker or not... until they even told you about it there was no deal on their side...so to consider it wrong is in your eyes perhaps not thiers because maybe they werent that far into it yet... really if you are saying it is sexually involved i dont think its anybodys business untill that person they tell they feel close to.. if something was wrong with me like that i would not go blurt it out to everyone why? cause what are they gonna do? unless they can fix my problem it would be no ones business unless i started having feelings for someone. that i thought i may want to have sex with... JMO yeah, sexual history would be important ONLY if the relationship was heading in a sexual direction,, I DEFINITELY want to know something like that before I am in a tempting one on one situation I had a soldier admit to me improper conduct about a week after we started to communicate, I felt bad for him, it really weighed on his conscience although it was his comrades who actually killed someone but he didnt report it... |
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Edited by
Seakolony
on
Thu 07/08/10 02:28 PM
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id wait like 128 minutes b4 we met not hours Didn't you say something about your closet and homosexuality/desperation somewhere??  
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Personally, I'm drawn to people who are honest enough to post their flaws in their profiles. That tells me right outta the gate, that they are straight shooters. Maybe. But take me, for instance. (Please!) I have so many different standing personal flaws, physical, mental and moral alike, that I can fill my profile chock-full of them, and still have quite a lot left over. I can sound honest and open, and be dubious and a weasel at the same time. People will like me for my honesty and my misery, but don't realize the dishonesty and the misery they'll get into when they get into a relationship with me. Most people are like me. So two people of a couplehood who don't split are basically people who are too tired or listless to act on their disappointments. The race, the general "go forth and multiply" basis of the propagation of our race, is done on one hand on the strength of hormones, and on the other, of a general and pervasive, but very useful lethargy and apathy disbursed among its more constructive members. Wux! 
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If it was me I would want it mentioned pretty early specially if it was something that could be transmitted or life threatening. Everybody deals with things different and some can not deal with such issues. So why drag someone into your life then just blow them away. To me that is being deceitful and hurtful.... Once you have that feeling that things are going further then a friendship then you need to be honest with them and let them pull away gracefully if they need to...........  I'd have to agree with this. And all of the comments on life-threatening, especially sexual or HIV/AIDS. I'm personally of the belief that something like that needs to be public knowledge. Think of how many men and women would be saved, if they could take a quick look and find out whether the person has it. Especially for the nuts who have been caught purposely going out and infecting others. I'm a believer of privacy so long as it doesn't hurt others. If you know and choose to get in a relationship then that's your choice. |
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I am kind of torn on this one as well. Some secrets are mine to keep and will not ever impact another person. I have met people on Mingle that I share my personal life with but will probably never meet. In that case, my health isn't really any of their concern unless I decide to share it.
If I was considering a personal, intimate relationship with someone I would tell them before meeting in person but I'm not sure there is a right time other than before intimacy. We humans like to feel connection before sharing ourselves and that timetable is different for everyone I think. |
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I don't have any skeletons in the closet, I put all mine in the crawl space.
Ron |
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I think as soon as it is made clear that you want to pursue a serious relationship. There are things about me I share openly and make no attempt to hide because I want them to know what they are getting in to.
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Be grateful that this person cares enough about you to tell you at all
 I hear too many stories of a partner not disclosing herpes, hep, etc until months into the relationship. |
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If you have FULL BLOWN F*CKING AIDS I think I might lead off with that.
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If you have FULL BLOWN F*CKING AIDS I think I might lead off with that.   Ya THINK????  Was the matter so heavy the OP went back to his closet to consider? He hasn't returned .. 
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deactivated
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deactivated & another one bites the dust 
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