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Topic: Do as I say, not as I do
msharmony's photo
Tue 08/03/10 07:17 PM
Ten things adults can do that children shouldnt

1. Watch r and x rated films
2. Drive a vehilcle
3. Smoke a cigarette
4. Have sex
5. Go into all rooms of their home with no need for permission
6. Remove things from rooms without permission
7. Stay up late
8. Leave home without permission
9. Enforce discipline
10.Wear make up


I thought of these in a discussion with a classmate who insisted children cant learn except by example. OF course, my argument is that is only ONE way in which they learn. THey also learn appropriate vs inappropriate which isnt a matter of example when it relates to age.

Can anyone think of more examples?

no photo
Tue 08/03/10 07:24 PM
operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh

msharmony's photo
Wed 08/04/10 12:38 AM

operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh



for a while there I thought the childrens rights activists were working to change the voting issue,,lol

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 12:41 AM

operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh


decide what they want to eat, huh
When is a child old enough to choose what they want to eat?

msharmony's photo
Wed 08/04/10 12:48 AM
Edited by msharmony on Wed 08/04/10 12:50 AM


operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh


decide what they want to eat, huh
When is a child old enough to choose what they want to eat?



my answer is ,, when they buy the food
or when the person who DID buy the food feels generous enough to give them a choice

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 12:52 AM
Hmmm ok then.

Since they are children and we have a responsibility to feed them, we just make them eat whatever? They have no choice, what if they don't like something...they have to eat it anyway?

msharmony's photo
Wed 08/04/10 01:13 AM
Edited by msharmony on Wed 08/04/10 01:15 AM

Hmmm ok then.

Since they are children and we have a responsibility to feed them, we just make them eat whatever? They have no choice, what if they don't like something...they have to eat it anyway?


thats when the 'graciousness' comes in

if my son could have decided what to eat, he would have had pizza at every meal every day. It doesnt work that way in our family. HE may have sometimes had a CHOICE from what I decided to bring in the house but he wasnt the one deciding what the meals would be.

basically, the person buying and preparing the food has the say of what food comes in and what gets put on the table. Of course a kid can decide not to eat at all, but they dont get to decide what to eat. Whats to eat is what someone bought and prepared(except on those gracious occasions when their input is requested).

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 01:24 AM
You feel you are being 'gracious' by allowing a child to choose what they want to eat, actually you don't let them choose, right... You buy what you want and if they don't like it they don't have to eat it...

I don't recall the exact age, I know I was pretty young when I knew what foods I did and didn't like. Of course tastes change from time to time also.

Almost sounds like some sort of power trip..Like your pulling rank on them and using food as a weapon. The reasoning is that you can so you do...
I buy the food, so you eat what I buy or go without.

Not understanding the thinking here, quite sure we won't agree on this issue either.

msharmony's photo
Wed 08/04/10 01:26 AM
Edited by msharmony on Wed 08/04/10 01:29 AM

You feel you are being 'gracious' by allowing a child to choose what they want to eat, actually you don't let them choose, right... You buy what you want and if they don't like it they don't have to eat it...

I don't recall the exact age, I know I was pretty young when I knew what foods I did and didn't like. Of course tastes change from time to time also.

Almost sounds like some sort of power trip..Like your pulling rank on them and using food as a weapon. The reasoning is that you can so you do...
I buy the food, so you eat what I buy or go without.

Not understanding the thinking here, quite sure we won't agree on this issue either.


I buy what is healthy and balanced and they learn to eat healthy and balanced and SOMETIMES I let them choose a treat. That is gracious, as I have a bit more experience and knowledge about what is GOOD for them and not just what tastes good to them. My kids may like or not like it, and that is fine. The rule in our house is you will TRY it, if you dont like it leave it. The food however is purchased by me and therefore the meals are planned by me. Not a power trip, just my responsibility. My responsibility to give them balance and nutrition and not just foods they 'like to eat'.

If they absolutely CANT eat it, that is something that I can use to figure out the grocery list, within reason. But my kids cant just say they dont like vegetables and then never have to eat any... no.

I , as the adult make the choices, considering both what is good and balanced and what they enjoy.

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 01:33 AM
All kids like some vegetable, a preference as to which one. I've never known any kids who didn't eat some vegetables.

Well, their your kids, ya gotta do what ya gotta do...drinker

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 01:35 AM
laugh

You keep editing your posts while I'm responding...

I'm done here anyway, were NOT going to agree and I don't want to argue with ya about it, or even attempt to share my thoughts on this subject.

Peace out flowerforyou

earthytaurus76's photo
Wed 08/04/10 10:19 AM
Letting my son eat what he wants when were out results in Chicken strips, and french fries, but I dont mind... We dont eat out like all the time.

no photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:19 PM


operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh


decide what they want to eat, huh
When is a child old enough to choose what they want to eat?
that was my point, there not old enough to decide

no photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:25 PM

Hmmm ok then.

Since they are children and we have a responsibility to feed them, we just make them eat whatever? They have no choice, what if they don't like something...they have to eat it anyway?
when I was growing up I had to eat what was on my plate if I liked it or not, I refuse to make my kids do the same, but I did ask that they try it.. wasn't till they got older they found out steak was GOOD lol

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:28 PM



operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh


decide what they want to eat, huh
When is a child old enough to choose what they want to eat?
that was my point, there not old enough to decide


When are they old enough?

Ladylid2012's photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:30 PM


laugh

You keep editing your posts while I'm responding...

I'm done here anyway, were NOT going to agree and I don't want to argue with ya about it, or even attempt to share my thoughts on this subject.

Peace out flowerforyou


Im always interested in alternative thoughts. I dont think the poster ever said you were making a wrong or bad choice either.

I never said she did...msharmony and I understand each other, we agree on very little.
I just look at children differently than most...

msharmony's photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:43 PM
each child is different, some will like things that are good for them immediately some will LEARN to like them,, tastes change all through life


the ends is justification for me,, if our children are healthy, happy, and functioning with no harm to others,,,,than we have done a good job regardless of technique

no photo
Wed 08/04/10 04:56 PM




operate power tools
vote
decide what they want to eat
I think it can be an endless listlaugh


decide what they want to eat, huh
When is a child old enough to choose what they want to eat?
that was my point, there not old enough to decide


When are they old enough?
I guess when there old enough to cook on there ownlaugh

no photo
Wed 08/04/10 06:10 PM
Kids won't learn if you do things and ask them not to do.
They will either do it behind you or won't just because you said so nt because they understand why no to do
And once they grow older they well intensively do all they couldn't do

Foliel's photo
Wed 08/04/10 11:31 PM
I was a lucky kid i guess, i hate liver fish and peas. So if thats what my mom made for dinner, she always had something else for me.

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