this is a little long so bear with me..... a couple months ago one of my long time guy friends and i decided to try the whole dating thing. everything seemed to be going fine, until last night when he told me that he realized this week that if i didnt contact him he wouldnt even think about me. yet when we are together just the way he looks at me could make me melt and it seems like he is really happy and genuinely enjoys my company. I feel like he is just scared because he is still trying to finish school and has a really busy schedule and isnt quite at the same point i am and isnt ready to settle down. and i completely understand and respect that and dont have a problem with it at all. ive been trying to just take everything one step at a time and go with the flow, but now it seems like he doesnt even want to see me. and thoughts? suggestions? advice?

why would he say that? sounds like your more into him than he is into you...don't make excuses for him, you will wind up getting hurt by doing so... just talk to him, and see what his thoughts are...sounds like you know whats really going on, but not ready to admit it to yourself...

Well it seems you want two different things here. Taking it “one step at a time” or not, doesn’t change this fact. (I’m not trying to be mean here)

His statement should be enough to let you know he is backing out, but it really seems to have no bearing on whether or not you still want this. when someone wants to be with you, they show you, conversely, when they don’t, they also show you. why are you trying to figure him out. he has plainly told how he feels. don’t put yourself through all of the mind numbing, torturing agony that comes with trying to hold on to something/someone that is not going to satisfy you.

if he wants his freedom, give it to him; sometimes it can be the only way we can see things clearly.

“…it seems like he is really happy and genuinely enjoys my company. I feel like he is just scared because he is still trying to finish school and…” your interpretation of “his” feelings don’t count. you cannot project your thoughts and feelings into his mind (no matter how hard you try). all you can do is express your feelings and deal with how he reacts.

The strange part is that a few years ago when we used to hang out all the time i always had the feeling that he wanted to be more than just friends, and never stopped getting that feeling until he said that yesterday.

seems to me that expressing my feelings is what got me here in the first place

The strange part is that a few years ago when we used to hang out all the time i always had the feeling that he wanted to be more than just friends, and never stopped getting that feeling until he said that yesterday.

this is a little long so bear with me..... a couple months ago one of my long time guy friends and i decided to try the whole dating thing. everything seemed to be going fine, until last night when he told me that he realized this week that if i didnt contact him he wouldnt even think about me. yet when we are together just the way he looks at me could make me melt and it seems like he is really happy and genuinely enjoys my company. I feel like he is just scared because he is still trying to finish school and has a really busy schedule and isnt quite at the same point i am and isnt ready to settle down. and i completely understand and respect that and dont have a problem with it at all. ive been trying to just take everything one step at a time and go with the flow, but now it seems like he doesnt even want to see me. and thoughts? suggestions? advice?

think your reading to much into every aspect of it.....

when a man truly digs ya...he will tell ya

think your reading to much into every aspect of it.....

when a man truly digs ya...he will tell ya