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| Topic: Cheap or Genius??? | |
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Edited by
Teditis
on
Wed 06/22/11 09:39 AM
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Is it possible that amoungst all the (supposed)premeditation and hidden agendas that she just didn't find you to be her "type"?
And in demonstrating that in her off-beat way... you now know that she's not your type either? Just wondering...? (just wanted to add... I do see that it was hurtful to you OP, there's no taking that back for her... and that's important for you to note and verbalize. Still, try not to let it eat you... my hope, that.) |
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Is it possible that amoungst all the (supposed)premeditation and hidden agendas that she just didn't find you to be her "type"? And in demonstrating that in her off-beat way... you now know that she's not your type either? Just wondering...? (just wanted to add... I do see that it was hurtful to you OP, there's no taking that back for her... and that's important for you to note and verbalize. Still, try not to let it eat you... my hope, that.) Great angle!  Hurt is the understatement to the "let down" feeling. It did take a bit to get everything set up and with my friends pulling what strings that they could too, makes it feel that the effort was left to be appreciated, and not so much the event. Maybe her type is the one who'll spend thousands for a bucks worth?? Mine is someone who'll see what it took vs. what it was. 
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Shshs only reason I would have been pissed is due to I did not get such a great deal for a wonderful weekend..... move on if it is all about how much you spend then how much fun you can have then it is time to loose that baggage....
 
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Just a response to those playing devil's advocate (which I already did with my first post in this thread)...
I would say this woman has expensive tastes, and likes being pampered. However, once she knew that the OP didn't have to pay for the trip, she came to question whether he was willing to spend the money to afford her own tastes. Therefore, disappointment set in. Truth is, if that is what she wants, then shouldn't she put herself in a situation to pursue it by her own work and merit using her own money? If her tastes are too expensive for her own means, then she should adapt her tastes to what she can afford but still enjoy. Anything beyond that, the proverbial gift horse, should either be accepted with modesty and appreciated, or outright refused with humility. Since A happened and B didn't, isn't that pretty much the definition of a gold digger? Especially since the OP already admitted that she knew he had money, or at least money in the family? |
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Well, when I go grocery shopping, I look at prices, and I consider which one is cheapest, and I usually end up buying that way. I don't shop at expensive stores unless it's a special occasion. (YAY ROSS)
So honestly, I don't see why anyone would think that spending more money means more fun. Like, if I want to go out with someone, I'd offer to make dinner for me and the man or woman, as going out to dinner is expensive! That and I love cooking. So I'd have to say you took the wrong person. Fun doesn't need to cost a cent, heck, I'd have fun on a date if we went to the park or something. |
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Just a response to those playing devil's advocate (which I already did with my first post in this thread)... I would say this woman has expensive tastes, and likes being pampered. However, once she knew that the OP didn't have to pay for the trip, she came to question whether he was willing to spend the money to afford her own tastes. Therefore, disappointment set in. Truth is, if that is what she wants, then shouldn't she put herself in a situation to pursue it by her own work and merit using her own money? If her tastes are too expensive for her own means, then she should adapt her tastes to what she can afford but still enjoy. Anything beyond that, the proverbial gift horse, should either be accepted with modesty and appreciated, or outright refused with humility. Since A happened and B didn't, isn't that pretty much the definition of a gold digger? Especially since the OP already admitted that she knew he had money, or at least money in the family? You're hitting the button best on this comment. 
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Well, when I go grocery shopping, I look at prices, and I consider which one is cheapest, and I usually end up buying that way. I don't shop at expensive stores unless it's a special occasion. (YAY ROSS) So honestly, I don't see why anyone would think that spending more money means more fun. Like, if I want to go out with someone, I'd offer to make dinner for me and the man or woman, as going out to dinner is expensive! That and I love cooking. So I'd have to say you took the wrong person. Fun doesn't need to cost a cent, heck, I'd have fun on a date if we went to the park or something. I too love to cook and a nice dinner made by myself or the other is always a great time for me. Truthfully, I'd like to start out the date shopping for the food, great creations come from the influx of two hungry minds
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I was able to (through a few friends and business connects) get a lavish weekend getaway, for myself and a lovely woman I've been seeing periodically, up in Estes Park, CO. It included a 5 Star hotel, dinner at a very fine Banquet, and a free tour guide on some of the back country trails. Needless to say it was completely awesome!! But, when she came to realize that it didn't cost me a thing but gas and tips, she thought that it lost some of its appeal....WTF?? I still had to put it all together no matter how much it cost. So....Am I Cheap.....Or Am I Genius??  That doesn't say much about your lady friend if she was upset because it didn't cost you anything. Actually it does :)  Yes it does! I meant it doesn't say anything good about her. Yes, it does show the negative side. |
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I too love to cook and a nice dinner made by myself or the other is always a great time for me. Truthfully, I'd like to start out the date shopping for the food, great creations come from the influx of two hungry minds Haha, I would absolutely love that. The thing that's the most frustrating in that would be, 'Oh, I'll be happy with anything you make.' It's like, "No! I need some help, because there's so many different things I could cook!"  I mean, I know people who would rather spend money then do something simple. But I don't know, a walk around here during the summer would be loads of fun, maybe going to the lake, swim and BBQ. It's also super fun, because if they don't know and want to learn how to make a dish, they can help me. Teaching cooking is so much fun, especially for a date. But truly, you don't need to spend a single cent to have a wonderful date! |
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Genius is always frugal living well below their means!
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Just a response to those playing devil's advocate (which I already did with my first post in this thread)... I would say this woman has expensive tastes, and likes being pampered. However, once she knew that the OP didn't have to pay for the trip, she came to question whether he was willing to spend the money to afford her own tastes. Therefore, disappointment set in. Truth is, if that is what she wants, then shouldn't she put herself in a situation to pursue it by her own work and merit using her own money? If her tastes are too expensive for her own means, then she should adapt her tastes to what she can afford but still enjoy. Anything beyond that, the proverbial gift horse, should either be accepted with modesty and appreciated, or outright refused with humility. Since A happened and B didn't, isn't that pretty much the definition of a gold digger? Especially since the OP already admitted that she knew he had money, or at least money in the family? You're hitting the button best on this comment. Yeah, I was reiterating for those who might not have caught a few of the previous posts. Typically, people tend to date within their own financial class just because the difference in resources can make for some awkward, uncomfortable, and potentially explosive moments. You know...."I want to do this, and I'll pay."...."But I don't want to be a burden to you. Why don't we do this instead?"...."I think you'll enjoy it. It will be fun."...."I just don't feel comfortable with it." And vice versa. "Why do I always have to pay for everything?"...."Because I can't afford to do the same things you like to do." Etc. |
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 I second that! You provided her with a fabulous get-away and she didn't appreciate it. TO THE CURB!!!! |
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It really makes ya wonder what would've happen if I'd been broke and asked her to help. But really, she didn't have to pay a dime, was driven there and back, taken care of while there, if she thought I was cooler cause i paid then that's on her, but truly we had as much fun and got all the things we would've if I paid. She's gone. Maybe there is another woman out there who can find the simple pleasures in life a true adventure.
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