*sigh*

My ex-boyfriend came back into my life.

He called me last night and we talked for a bit. Things between us didn't end on bad terms and I always thought we had a strong friendship. I didn't think anything of it when we were talking. I guess you could say we met and fell for each other at the wrong time.

After he told me he broke up with the girl he was seeing, we went on to talking a lot about the mistakes we made when we were together. Then came the unexpected. He told me his dad was in the hospital and he wasn't taking things well with it. In fact he was nearly vague about the details until I just started to listen to him and let him talk. His son knows but he hasn't shown how he really feels about it. I felt like he was talking about it for the first time with me.

Now comes the problem. I was deeply in love with this man, but I guess we never talked about that. I didn't know how he felt and vise versa. For the first time I thought I heard him say he had feelings for me too.

I am so confused and I really don't know what to do here. I thought we ended our romance. This is what I thought. I really care about him so much. I feel like I can be his friend but getting involved into his life again? I found out a week after we broke up he got back together with his ex-gf.

I really don't know what to do here. Having him come back into life isn't what I planned. And all these feelings resufacing, I don't like them. What would you do in this situation if you were me?

I would do nothIng. If he loves you he will make it known to you. Don't read anything into things he says. If he didn't say he was still in love with you, he's not.

It's quite obvious you wanna be more than "friends."

Why prolong the inevitable?

If I were you, instead of asking a bunch of strangers what 'they' think... I'd ask him.

hi, :) You didnt say why you broke up in the first place. Have those reasons been resolved? old feelings are going to resurface because you cared about this man. its what we do, :) from reading the post, i feel that you reacting to his emotional state and of course, that will bring those old feelings to the surface, But, unless you have gotten over/forgotten the reasons for the split, IMO you need to tread Very carefully here. I hope it works out either way for you...and you have your friend back, :)

((M))....Nothing, I would not do a damn thing right now.....I don't mean to sound harsh, but the guy sounds like a pendulum ...First her, then you, then her again, and now you!!! Jeeze, it's enough to make ya seasick...

Keep you eye on the ball baby girl....

In my life....ex's are ex's for a reason.
But you stated that it ended well and friendly.
Sounds like an open door to a second chance..........To Me!!!
Good Luck!!!

See!!!...Listen to Ruth and me...great minds and all that ...

We broke up basically because it was a wrong time for both of us. More crazy/chaotic time. I just moved back from NY and I sort of dove into a relationship without thinking. We were friends for a year though and talked when I lived in NY. We were close, but I wanted to be closer. I just didn't know how to tell him. We had more of friendship/relationship then something else I really wanted.

I feel like maybe I need to just be a friend, be the person he needs now. Thinking of my feelings in all this will complicate things even further. Maybe, I don't know...

he called you...whether it was for a friend or more...you will have to decide what you want it to be, :) for now, be his friend. listen and hangup when that weird pause happens, :) If its meant to be, he wont be with someone else in a week eh. Cheers, Tara :)

Not having much experience in the relationship department I see a pattern here with the guys I'm with. But with him, it was different. I didn't feel hurt or anything when we stopped talking. I was disappointed it didn't work but I was even more distraught that I wasn't honest from the beginning about how I felt. But you're right about how he's swinging back and forth. Kinda feels a little like I'm being tossed around and maybe he's just using me because there is no one else to open up to. I hope not. I don't feel like he has ill intentions here. We had a long conversation last night. A broadened discussion I guess. And it did mean a lot to me to hear from him again. Unfortunate that its at a sad time in his life.

Crazyness...LOL

You guys are twins I swear!!

I'm just torn is all. And hearing him say he feels it too is just confusing to me. He said he could always rely on me to be there for him. I was a good part of his life. Words I know. To me, they mean a little something. Just don't know what. I'm going to keep talking to him though. Just going to try to push my garnered feelings far away for the time being.

I wish you the very best...hope it all works out for you, :)

Well sweet, you are being very caring and sensitive toward this man....It's obvious you care about him, look how he's monopolizing your mind once again!...Just be careful, leave your rose colored glasses in the case for the time being....If you want to reach out, keep the lines of communication open, do it, just be very protective of your own heart.....

I'll share something with you...For as long as I can remember, my mother always told me..."Never go back, forward only"....She is a very wise woman....

Yeah...I care for a lot of people...I am just in love with the guy and its difficult for me to think straight. Everything feels muddled when I think about what I'm going to do.

I'd hidden my feelings before so I guess it shouldn't be a problem to do it again. I think. lol Somebody has to have my best interest at heart here, its just so hard to see things for what they are when you can't control how you feel.

That's a good saying. Something I never exercise enough. Your mom sounds like a dream mother I'm glad she taught you so well.

Wait to see if he tells you his feelings for you. He obviously didn't know how much you cared for him and that could be one reason things didn't work the first time. I wish you well!

Yeah, I think the men I've been with never know the gratitude I show them until there's some distance.

A few years ago, my ex-girlfriend came back into my life.

We originally had tried the relationship thing, but we just in the end decided we worked better as friends. And as such everything seemed to be fine there... or so I thought. After we broke up, and each of us tried to get on with our lives, she later called me and started talking about "the good old days". At first I was ecstatic, but the more we talked the more something was off. She kept talking about how everyone else treated her like dirt, and played games and how she wished they could be more like me. We talked for several days, and went to dinner and discussed it... but in the end she could not really look at me the way I had looked at her. It was like she wanted to be in a relationship, just to be in a relationship with a great guy... just not so much me. Does that make any sense? I mean what it always struck me as, is she wanted to have me around, until something better caught her eye, but if it never showed, well at least she had me right?

I talked quite a bit with her about, and expressed my opinion.... in the end we both realized there was no deep connection between us. It would have just been FWB, and neither of us wanted that so we went our separate ways.

I don't know if that helps you any, but I wanted to share my own side of it. I can't say what he wants, what he is looking for, how serious he is or what not... maybe he just can't find anyone better, maybe he just called out in a time of need, or maybe he just really missed you... I cannot say. As was mentioned, people playing pendulum is never a good thing, and can lead to a lot of future misery... but that is something you will only learn in time and looking into what you went through before.

I hope you find your answers.

Doesn't help that he went back to his ex but you did say you hadn't spoken your feelings to him so that could have had something to do with it. I say follow your heart