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Topic: It’s not you, it’s me..
42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 12:49 AM
It was a post earlier in the week that got me thinking about this....if you’ve been on here for what you consider to be a while and have had no or very little few profile views. Or you’ve had a number of unsuccessful dates over the year(s)...at what point would you start to look inwards? Would you ever consider that it’s YOU and not THEM? I guess my question is...are you aware of your issues? Do you feel that it really is ‘them’ and not ‘you’? Or don’t you date enough to really know? To answer my own question, I am aware of most of my issues....I know that most of mine stem from the fact that I’m slow to trust and too ready to let go.

msharmony Joined Mon 08/31/09 Posts: 61041	Sun 04/01/12 01:03 AM
My issue is I pick people who are not good matches,,,and they do the same,,,

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 01:14 AM
I know exactly what you mean...my personality, hobbies and interests attract a certain type of guy but those are not the types that I’m ultimately attracted to.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 01:14 AM Edited by 42BlackBBW on Sun 04/01/12 01:25 AM
double post

ShannonMarie21 Joined Thu 02/17/11 Posts: 1169	Sun 04/01/12 01:26 AM
That's a very valid question. I was just thinking that earlier about one specific issue I always seem to have with guys. That either I'm just choosing the same (wrong) type of guy over and over again or they are reacting to something in me when they act that way..

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 01:45 AM
That's a very valid question. I was just thinking that earlier about one specific issue I always seem to have with guys. That either I'm just choosing the same (wrong) type of guy over and over again or they are reacting to something in me when they act that way.. It’s funny you say that because I also seem to attract the same type of person over and over again..different race, build, look etc but ultimately, the same guy.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Sun 04/01/12 04:00 AM
Yes I have a big issue that inteferes. My treatment every Tue Thu and Sat (dialysis until I get a kidney). Unemployed due to it, woomen don't like that.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 04:44 AM
Yes I have a big issue that inteferes. My treatment every Tue Thu and Sat (dialysis until I get a kidney). Unemployed due to it, woomen don't like that. I can see how that may deter some women however I'm sure there are those that will appreciate the fact that you have 3 degrees (minus Diana Ross ) and working towards gaining a Masters qualification.

oldhippie1952 Joined Mon 03/14/11 Posts: 22693	Sun 04/01/12 04:46 AM
Yes I have a big issue that inteferes. My treatment every Tue Thu and Sat (dialysis until I get a kidney). Unemployed due to it, woomen don't like that. I can see how that may deter some women however I'm sure there are those that will appreciate the fact that you have 3 degrees (minus Diana Ross ) and working towards gaining a Masters qualification. I gotta go back to work. Retirement is too boring!

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Sun 04/01/12 04:51 AM
Yes I have a big issue that inteferes. My treatment every Tue Thu and Sat (dialysis until I get a kidney). Unemployed due to it, woomen don't like that. I can see how that may deter some women however I'm sure there are those that will appreciate the fact that you have 3 degrees (minus Diana Ross ) and working towards gaining a Masters qualification. I gotta go back to work. Retirement is too boring! I think that would bore me as well...I would have to do some sort of voluntary work to keep the days from merging into one another.

TammyA Joined Sat 03/10/12 Posts: 300	Sun 04/01/12 06:02 AM Edited by TammyA on Sun 04/01/12 06:03 AM


pyxxie13 Joined Wed 09/28/11 Posts: 3835	Mon 04/02/12 01:01 PM
Nope... it's them!

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 04/02/12 02:22 PM
Nope... it's them! I knew they'd be one

TBRich Joined Fri 11/07/08 Posts: 8232	Mon 04/02/12 02:43 PM
It is hard to tell: I am too intolerant or are they too annoying

LoneTexan Joined Mon 04/02/12 Posts: 21	Mon 04/02/12 02:51 PM
I may be 31 and still have growing up to do but I honestly just discovered that I have feelings and emotions. I just completed 10 years in the Army and my job made me cover those up so I can get through to the next day. When my feelings and emotions would get in the way I would easly turn them into anger because I didnt know what those feelings and emotions were. It's a huge change for me cause now I feel like I have to discover who I am again in regards to the new discovery I have just found. I will also be honest that I have enjoyed and become a better individual now so it has become somewhat easier to talk to women and listen to them. I can cope and learn from them and I'm loving the conversations that I am having with them too. So yes you can teach old dogs new tricks, even though I still have a long way to go.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 04/02/12 03:04 PM
It is hard to tell: I am too intolerant or are they too annoying A combination...it's 'you' but it's also sometimes 'them'? I do believe that some partners can bring out different characteristics in you that don't always manifest when you're with others...some partners can make you a bit more spontaneous...a bit more adventurous than you usually are while others can turn you a bit possessive, jealous....it’s not them messing with your head or playing mind games, it’s just this feeling(s) that they bring out in you.

42BlackBBW Joined Mon 09/12/11 Posts: 3243	Mon 04/02/12 03:18 PM
I may be 31 and still have growing up to do but I honestly just discovered that I have feelings and emotions. I just completed 10 years in the Army and my job made me cover those up so I can get through to the next day. When my feelings and emotions would get in the way I would easly turn them into anger because I didnt know what those feelings and emotions were. It's a huge change for me cause now I feel like I have to discover who I am again in regards to the new discovery I have just found. I will also be honest that I have enjoyed and become a better individual now so it has become somewhat easier to talk to women and listen to them. I can cope and learn from them and I'm loving the conversations that I am having with them too. So yes you can teach old dogs new tricks, even though I still have a long way to go. I don't necessarily think it's an age thing but you are right. It is about self recognition..I can only imagine how 10 years in the army would change a person.

josie68 Joined Mon 11/22/10 Posts: 6270	Mon 04/02/12 03:53 PM
Nope I would have just figured we where different and not suited. I like most people, just I didn't suit everyone. To many kids, to imatature, and so on.

ujGearhead Joined Wed 10/10/07 Posts: 6612	Mon 04/02/12 03:58 PM
Nope... it's them! DAMN! Beat me to it.....

Ghostrider2u Joined Thu 05/17/07 Posts: 6953	Mon 04/02/12 04:07 PM
Its always me.......... when They are............ WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!