Topic: Need advice from a females perspective
Tater42's photo
Tue 02/26/13 12:22 AM
Hello,
I've had this girl as my best friend for over three years now. We always got along, know each other like the back of our hands of course. A typical guy and girl being best friends and they winde up falling for one another, just FYI, we tried talking but she was dating a guy, happens to be the same time we realize we love each other...a few months of talking and stuff, I never kissed her or anything innoproprite towards her cause I'm a southern gentlemen and I have respect for others, long story short she shattered my heart and left me behind to be with a guy who treated her badly. It hurt a lot and I found it hard to trust any other girl...time passes and I forgive and forget cause of course I still loved this girl cause the feelings never left and out old friendship came alive again and I was happy with that...so two nights ago, we are texting nothin new until I get a text saying pretty much she should never forgive herself for the stupid mistake she made, missed me and that feelings never left her heart. The message was longer but I was shocked...breathless...and of course I was over joyed with happiness cause the girl I really loved and truly trusted still had the same feelings for me :) so ok, my turn to tell her how I feel...for safety reasons we will call my friend summer and this is my message word for word and it's pretty long..."I just wanted to say...I'm so happy to hear that your feelings never changed towards me, I have a piece of your heart that you put me in. Saying no one could ever replace me...you don't know how long I've wanted to hear that. You're just the most amazing woman I've ever met, so sweet, kind, generous, smart, caring nurturing, beautiful, funny...the list goes on and on. Not one day went by where I didn't think about you or the times we spent together. You're not just another friend or someone I know, you're my summer and no one can replace you or how you make me feel. We've had many ups and downs but never fought and always find a way back to one another. It's crazy yes but, here we are again. I plan on doin whatever it takes to make you smile everyday cause I don't wanna go without talking to you again... You're not just another girl to me, you're way more important than that. Those feelings I have for you...never left. Always been here, even when all that came crashing down...it hurt but never left. You know I would do anything for you, just to see you smile. I'm tired of seeing ******** treat you the way they do cause you deserve much more than that!! I want to be the one who makes you happy, wipe your tears when you're sad, I want to be the one you see when you look back on a precious memory, I want to be the one who surprises you with flowers just cause I can, I want to be the who makes you feel wanted. I have been wanting to be your man for what seems like forever now...but I'm still here just to prove that through no matter what, I'm always gonna be here for my summer. I made that promise years Ago, don't plan on ever breaking that promise. There is no other person like you who can make me so happy, smile so much, laugh so hard, be sweet and caring. I thought i would never find a rare beauty like you. Those feelings...I get em when you text or call me, they get stronger if talk to you, seeing you smile makes my knees weak, i hold you in my arms and my heart almost beats out of my chest and I can't stop shaking...I've never felt that with anyone but you summer. I know and believe in my heart we will be together someday cause god has been testing us and look where we are today...I tell you all this for a few reasons. 1. I'm not getting any younger and there is no telling what I could be missing out on with you. 2. I still fully trust you, if you have any doubts or anything like that...please just tell me what is on your mind, don't tell me what I want to hear or just drag this along cause I don't want to be heartbroken again...I know you won't hurt me But I just had to say that and well 3. These "feelings" I have for you, I know what it is...there's no doubt cause it's never happened before, they never faded away, they get stronger when I think of you or what the future could possibly hold. I hope you know what it is but I'm gonna say it anyway...it's love...I just know it is. I'm sorry to just drop all this at once but after the dream I just had to say something, I only have this one life and id like to see you in most of it cause you're the girl I care about...I just love you summer...I have for a long time and it's not going anywhere...I care a lot about you and I can only hope that you feel the same...there it is, I just let it out cause I needed to tell you...I hope to hear from you later but take your time, I understand." this is where I need help, what would you say if your man, guy you always wanted or whatever...I'd love to hear anyone's advice or opinion for me and my prbloem...it took her over 24 hours to reply to me after that and it was the most stressful time I've ever experienced...thank you for taking your time to read this and offer your help!!

Tater42's photo
Tue 02/26/13 12:51 AM
I would also like to add that yes we are currently just talking to see where things will go. Just...the message I got back from her about mine was...a surprise cause i don't know but I guess I just expected something...different? I guess but that's why I need some females opinions on what they would say and advice is always appreciated :)

no photo
Tue 02/26/13 01:14 AM
I can relate to this, as I feel the same about a male friend, who I met at a golf course, as a teenager. We always keep in touch. I think despite you feeling ready to date her, it's best to wait and see what happens. She may want to date you right now, or maybe a few months/years down the road. However, it's best not to have one plan, just incase it never works out. I wouldn't go putting all my eggs in one basket. You might not feel like wanting any other woman, but you could end up breaking your own heart, if she ever rejects your offer. I'd advise making friends with more females. Don't go planning what you want to do with her for the future, because, really, future planning your life based on you and your crush may just wind up being a fantasy. Hopefully, you both WILL end up together. I'm just advising you to not think about it too much. You don't want to end up a heartbroken mess :)

Tater42's photo
Tue 02/26/13 01:26 AM
Thank you! I see what you are trying to say and I'm the type of person who will take a chance when it comes cause I'm not sure tomorrow is gonna show up, I took my chance and just told her how I felt. We are now just talking and starting off slow and take things easy. Our feelings for each other and all that has no been discussed since that day. We both know it's there but we wanna take this slow and make sure it is right. And just if something does happen between us, I'm not gonna let that stop me for making other female friends...just gonna advoid falling in love with anothet one again haha :) Thanks again for your time and advice.

no photo
Tue 02/26/13 02:05 AM
No need to thank me. Just telling you what I know from experience :). Slow is good. I know you probably want to feel like the cat who got the cream, but thinking about it all day long, could end up driving you mad. Just don't become one of those obssesive stalkers. laugh

no photo
Wed 02/27/13 03:04 PM
are u sure u wanna be "fallback" guy

ya, downer I know, but keep that in mind moving forward with decisions

Tater42's photo
Thu 03/07/13 06:47 AM
I will never be a stalker haha! Yea I've thought about it but try to keep it out of my mind cause I've been the "fallback" guy before. It was in my younger years, still a very nice guy but very shy and I use to let girls walk all over me and talk to me as they pleased. I did join the U.S. Army and good ol uncle Sam help me find my backbone, still very nice and up most respect but I won't allow that to happen again. If it ever did get that way between me and my best friend...that would have to be the end of it. Not sure if I could even be her friend...but luckily it's not even close to goin that way. I may be blinded by the feelings but i know she wouldnt hurt me...again. Hate saying that but i really dont think she will :)) Still taking things slow but everything is going great and we are both very happy :) I do my best to make her smile and know she's wanted everyday and I spend days with her and live it like its our last, sounds like a goofy love movie but it's my movie :)) thanks for yalls help!!

unsure's photo
Sat 03/09/13 01:01 AM
You seem like a really great guy and a good friend to this girl. All I can say to you is, be a friend to her and IF you get together then it was meant to be...you can not make it happen if it is not meant to be.
I have always said that I would never date a friend because I would never want to ruin a friendship. I would rather keep a friendship then try to turn it into more! You can always find a girlfriend but a true friend is very hard to find!!!
GOOD LUCK!!! flowerforyou