Topic: Breakups peak during the holidays, but others seek new oppo
no photo
Sat 12/13/14 01:07 AM
To those of you who have significant others, watch out. According to a "Peak Break-Up Times" chart created by David McCandless and Lee Byron, we are entering the year's second highest break-up time, second only to spring break. Their data shows what appears to be the first actual representation of the trend. Using information collected from Facebook, the duo charted the most frequent times of year that relationships end. There are two astonishing peaks, one in March and one during the Christmas holidays. There’s even a name for the phenomenon: the “turkey drop” which implies a break up in that period starting just before Thanksgiving.

The weeks before Christmas are a bad time for relationships. To those single ladies and gents out there, the market is about to get a lot meatier. The chart was first posted on David McCandless' Information is Beautiful website, and has since been reposted on several other news sites. McCandless and Byron searched for the frequency of "break up" and "broken up" in Facebook statuses, and also set up a program that logged the dates of changes in relationship status onto a calendar. Does the study rely too heavily on Facebook?


"I think it relates to real life, probably, really closely," said Byron. "Just based on anecdotal evidence, it seems to match up. Anyone who has looked at the chart tends to have a positive reaction. I've also had an expert in relationships look at the graph and tell me that it maps very close to reality

McCandless seconded that opinion. "I wouldn't call it a study," he said. "The intention was not to claim anything is true, it's just an interesting pattern that happens. There are all kinds of biases, Facebook was very much primarily used by young people, I'm just simply saying 'cool.'"

The chart is one piece of a larger project on breakups. The series of information graphics on ending relationships includes topics like breakup methods and "We broke up because," as well as a flow chart on how relationships come together and fall apart.

But Why Do Couples Break Up Right Before Christmas?

When asked why two weeks before Christmas is a peak breakup time, Byron said, "I think it has something to do with end-of-the-year reflections or thoughts of everyone heading home for the holidays." Perhaps some people realize their significant other is not someone they would want to introduce to their families.


"I can only reflect on my own experience -- would you want stay in a relationship that you felt was over through Christmas and New Year's? You don't want to be dogged by worries or pressure, you don't want to be worrying about the potential ups and downs in your relationship, you just want to clear the space," said McCandless.


"This is the season," said Dr. Dorree Lynn, a psychologist and author of "Sex for Grownups," "to be needy and greedy as opposed to the message that we try to put out. It evokes incredibly high stress and depression, culminating statistically in New Years being the highest suicide date. The reason this happens is that we have the media myth that this is supposed to be a happy, wonderful and joyous time."

"Couples or people who are dating are in a bind," Lynn said. "It's kind of a flight or another step to commitment time. The same thing holds true for Valentine's Day. These are symbolic times where you're making a statement, and if you're not sure, particularly if you haven't been dating for several years, a lot of people have issues about gift giving and how intimate the gift giving is and they get frightened because they don't want to put pressure on the other person, but on the other hand they don't want to feel like a fool giving something and not getting anything back."

"I think the expectation of an expensive gift from a significant other can be the straw that breaks up the camel's relationship," said Brian Moylan of Gawker. "If you're already unhappy and thinking about pulling the trigger on a relationship, why not do it before you have to spend hundreds of dollars on a fancy watch or cufflinks or lingerie you don't even want to see your girlfriend wearing anyway? That way you get freedom and $100 you can blow at a strip club (or on some reasonably priced shoes)."

Moylan added, "People are thinking about New Year's resolutions and how to improve their lives, and sometimes the best improvement you can make is setting free the good-for-nothing mate."

On the other end of the spectrum, new relationships are on the boom before and during the holidays. Kenneth Agee of A Foreign Affair says, “We see our largest increase in clients during the holidays. People do not want to be alone on the holidays, and with New Year coming, they make resolutions to do whatever it takes to find their soul mate. Even if it means traveling halfway around the world."

A Foreign Affair operates a web site that introduces men to women in Asia, Russia and Latin America. Each week they take groups of men to foreign countries where in just a few shorts days they can meet hundreds of beautiful foreign women looking for marriage. Kenneth Agee further states, “And if you are worried about a breakup, these relationships have half the divorce rate of domestic marriages.”







davidben1's photo
Sat 12/13/14 01:19 AM
the only way a break up would or could be bad, is if 1 does not wish to break up, and why would 1 not wish to break up, as if 2 are not happy, than 1 should not be there.

a toast to holiday break ups...

and many new cheerful days.

drinker drinks drinker


SinglesAdvice's photo
Mon 12/15/14 11:17 PM
How to deal with getting dumped before the holidays?

There's nothing like being dumped right before the holidays to break your spirit.
As a Get Real about Love coach, I get calls about it from thanksgiving through Valentine’s Day.
First of all you have to look at it as a blessing in disguise, even though your heart might be aching.
Follow these steps and soon you can let go and move on!

Call in a support team from the people who love you who will be there for you!
Make plans to keep busy and take some space to heal your heart.

Don’t focus on a reconciliation! ONCE IT’S OVER LET IT GO!
Have a final talk then move on. When someone leaves… it is over! Don’t call to see if they are ok.
GET YOUR STUFF FROM HIM/HER!
Get all your stuff (CD’s you left, underwear, T-shirts you wore to bed)
so you don’t have that hanging over your head.
This is all a part of moving on. It helps both people let go!

YOU CAN’T BE HIS/HER FRIEND RIGHT NOW!
It’s best not to shift into being friend right after a break up.
It’s too frustrating and can make you feel worse if you pretend you can handle it!
You need some healing time.

Leave him/her alone and don’t call! If he/she calls, keep it short and don’t tease them.
If you are the one who broke it off, don’ promise anything unless you mean it!

NO FRIENDLY SEX TO NUMB THE PAIN!
Don’t sleep with her/him unless you want to reopen the wound and you’ll have to heal all over again. Having sex doesn’t guarantee getting the relationship back. Using Sex to console him/her only to dump them again next week is HURTFUL and very selfish!

Try to Keep yourself busy attempt to get in the holiday spirit. Let your family know that you don't want to be discussing your “situation” and need positive encouragement right now!

NURTURE YOURSELF & GET IN TOUCH WITH HEART. Go get a massage or go to a spa to get some pampering! Write your experience and feelings in a journal to get emotions out of you whirling mind before you sleep.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS & GIVE TO OTHERS WHO ARE LESS FORTUNATE
Go feed the homeless, help deliver food at the Salvation Army and don’t stay home sulking
GET PROFFESIONAL SUPPORT and some guidance from a love coach so that you can learn the lessons from the experience and grow from it. Get Real with your heart and realize this rejection is God’s protection and there is a reason it happened…even though it hurts right now! Healing takes time so be kind to yourself.
VISION YOUR FUTURE & KEEP THE FAITH! Someday soon you meet someone new and think,

davidben1's photo
Mon 12/15/14 11:31 PM
Edited by davidben1 on Mon 12/15/14 11:33 PM
only exploiters of others, think and perpetuate parting ways for the happiness of both, as being "dumped".


Awatersign's photo
Tue 12/16/14 12:25 AM
So sorry for the unfortunate ones but glad I ain't going have dat problem!!!drinker drinker :banana: :banana: :banana: bigsmile shades

aquedonna's photo
Tue 12/16/14 08:40 PM
So relate. Im still on a recovery period ryht now. Hpe it willbe better on the holidays.

colekevin's photo
Tue 12/16/14 10:19 PM
I broke with my gf about 1 month ago after we were together for a year and a half so I'm struggling to move on myself.Trust was a big issuefrustrated

no photo
Tue 12/16/14 10:46 PM
Not ready yet to another relationship.
It's okey for me even though i have no dates on this coming 2015.
As long as i am here at the m2 family....
I am so happy,happy,happy being with you all guys.:smile: :banana: :banana:

HoneyFly's photo
Tue 12/16/14 11:41 PM
Edited by HoneyFly on Tue 12/16/14 11:45 PM
He just ate up all my stuffing from our thanksgiving turkey & left without a goodbye. Damn you... Holiday Breakup Peaks!

mysticalview21's photo
Sat 12/20/14 08:24 AM
thank you op ...now i have go go change my profile lmao an a Merry Holiday Christmas to you ...laugh

davidben1's photo
Sat 12/20/14 05:58 PM
for there ain't nobody "dumped".



it only be just each finding what two people want and like together.

colekevin's photo
Sat 12/27/14 06:46 AM

He just ate up all my stuffing from our thanksgiving turkey & left without a goodbye. Damn you... Holiday Breakup Peaks!

colekevin's photo
Sat 12/27/14 06:51 AM
All I can say to that is he is a *** hole and it must have hurt and made you so angry.it a new your so I wish you all the best in finding true lovedrinker :heart:

navygirl's photo
Mon 12/29/14 09:40 AM
Good post Op and to be honest; I am not surprised. The article is spot on about the needy and greedy. Christmas is indeed not a happy or joyous time for a lot of us. It is a sad and stressful time for most actually. No one wants to be alone for the holidays and I think they grasp on to a relationship just so they aren't alone. Honestly; if someone expects an expensive gift from their significant other; they deserve to be dumped as its supposed to be the thought; not the amount of the gift. I personally hate the idea of gift giving being imposed on me simply because its Christmas. Not to mention; people buying you inappropriate gifts further putting stress on you to fake a smile; fake a thank you when really you are horrified of what they bought you. I personally can't blame someone for wanting to get rid of the baggage of bad relationship before Christmas and wanting to start the New Year fresh.

Goofball73's photo
Mon 12/29/14 06:23 PM
May just be me, but isn't a breakup during anytime of the year a bad time? I mean....in the history of all that is dating/relationships is it ever easy to break it off?

navygirl's photo
Tue 12/30/14 09:12 AM

May just be me, but isn't a breakup during anytime of the year a bad time? I mean....in the history of all that is dating/relationships is it ever easy to break it off?


It is bad to break up at anytime but because people are brainwashed to think they must be with someone for Christmas and that its a bad time to be alone.