I've been having a difficult time getting over my ex. About a week ago, I broke down and sent her a message, just saying hi and asking how she was. She sent me a message back yesterday and we talked a little, nothing really more than some brief chit chat. I didn't really want to talk to her, but at the same time I did want to talk to her, so I distanced myself. Me and another ex of my have decided to get back together a little while ago. I want to tell her about my feelings for my other ex, but I'm not really sure how or if its even a good idea.

There's no chance at all of me an the other ex ever getting back together. There's a very slim chance of us even seeing each other again and I'm not looking for a pen pal or anything, so I probably won't talk to her again.

I'm just not sure if I'm over reacting in my head or if I should be more open about my feelings with my girlfriend. I feel that she deserves to know, but I don't want to make her worry or wonder about things that are not going to happen.

Should I just tell my therapist all this instead, or just let it fester inside?

i've never seen anything good come from making emotional decisions. i've also never seen anything good come from being totally honest with a woman. some things are better off left unsaid. you being sad and lonely is normal. stop wondering if the grass is greener on the other side of the fence (or an ex fence) and enjoy what you have now. your health, someone to share life with, and mingle (ohkay the last one is questionable)

i've seen you post some pretty cool stuff. you don't need to complicate your life bro. your a handsome guy with a good head on your shoulders. stop beating yourself up over what ifs. now go have nice life, i've got some mingling to do. godspeed, bulldog

^^^^^^^^^^^ THAT is great advice!! @ BULLDOG!

I have no intention or desire to maintain any kind of relationship with my ex. I do still have feelings though, but I'm moving on. I love and am very serious about the one I'm currently with. I don't want her to have to share any part of me though.

That's exactly how I see it too.

save your therapy money and buy your gal something nice. you answered your own question

It sounds like if you could choose which ex loved you, it would be the one you're not with. Are you just settling?

How long ago was your breakup? It takes 6 months or more to get over someone you cared deeply about, sometimes even years for some men because they feel more deeply physically and emotionally. Women's threshold for pain is much higher and they recover more quickly from painful breakups. Men are known to take longer to recover so you need to give it time. It is also very important to no longer keep in touch with your ex, otherwise she will be a painful reminder of the past and the battlescars will continue getting opened up and festering, detracting from a quick and healthy emotional healing. I am speaking both from experience and relationship advice I came across.

Well, the bad qualities of my last ex out weigh the good, but then again the one I'm with now kinda has the same qualities. I guess to be honest I don't see the relationship lasting forever, so I'm in it for how ever long it lasts, a year , the rest of my life, whenever. I just won't be surprised if anything happens and it ends, not that I'm not giving 100% or anything.

It's been about seven months. It takes about 2 years or so to fully recover from a serious relationship for man or woman.

The more you keep in touch with the ex, the longer it will take to be over her.
That's been my experience anyway.
Concentrate on your present relationship.

Past is past, lock it and lose the key.
Present and future are yours. Go for it!
You�re a good guy, Totage and I wish you all the happiness and love you can have

Bouncing around between exs is not the answer my friend

I would be inclined to add, that your communication attempt with the ex is emotional cheating on the one you're with... if you still have feelings for the ex?

You're a big boy, you know precisely what's right & wrong... gl

Hmmff... I was muchos inclined to agree with Bulldog, until I read your last post... As far as I'm concerned Bulldog's is solid advice, provided you are fully dedicated and intending to stay in the current relationship. You are not. In that sense I don't think it's fair you are with this girl and aren't honest to her. Does she know you don't really think it will last / or not intend it to last?

To be really honest, I think you got involved way too soon. From what I gather you're in a rebound relationship, and they indeed rarely last. It's basically one partner using the other to get over the previous partner. Chances are you are going to hurt her... And I don't think that is particularly fair.

Okay, then, from your estimations, you have another year and a half to suffer. Hunker down, it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Bingo. But everyone goes through rebound and someone always get hurt. The great vicious love cycle.

I can't say I don't agree with. You're right, but then again not all relationships are meant to last forever.