I love my Father. He was around, we played catch and I am not wanting for a father figure.

I am as lucky of a product of a "broken home" as one can be. In fact dad and mom remained friends until she passed away, and we often did things together.

However, it was MOM who held things together.

I guess my question is for single mothers (particularly of sons).

What are the values that you want to pass on to your sons?

(Daughters too....but I am kind of a Mamas Boy)

1. be a decent human being
2. try not to hurt others
3. take care of your own
4. respect your woman
5. do what is right even when it is not easy

To all......but #5 is SO familiar

do better than me, keep your brother and sister close to you, and pick the right woman and look after her.

Happy Mother's Day to all y'all single moms!

I had to raise my children alone
when the youngest was barely 2.
Yeah it was hard not in the sense of finances thank god.
But in making sure I could give them the values that we both wanted them to have.

With all my children the ideals were the same.

1. Honour yourself in doing that you will honour others.
2. Love yourself in doing that you will love others.
3. Remember to have faith and the wisdom to ask for help.
4. Always do the best you can in everything you do.
5. Remember to respect yourself and others.
6. Remember who and where you came from and wear your name proudly.
7. Always give back
8. If she isn't worth having in your life for the rest of your life don't sleep with her.. Because you may not have to marry her but you "will" support your child.


Lastly,
Remember your momma brought you into this world and don't you ever forget it. rofl..
Sorry that was my favourite thing when they were growing up...It worked til they were about 10.. Then their answers were all same ..

Yeah and so what...

IN all seriousness I love each one of my children and I am extremely proud of them. They are wonderful parents of the greatest grandkids I could ever ask for.

They are all different as day and night and yet they are some amazing adults. They give so much back

Doesn't really matter.

They are going to find their own values no matter what a parent does.

The best thing parents could possibly do, IMO, is help children understand the consequences, long and short term, of the values the kid(s) adopt, express, and use while growing, all while trying to maintain consistency between how they, themselves, behave and what they say they believe.

If you try to force any kind of values on a kid they are going to rebel against the pressure, at some point, to prove their individuality, that they aren't simply an extension of the parents ego or values. They are going to pick apart any value you try to impress upon them, either in attitude, argument, or behavior.

If you try to maintain a completely laissez faire attitude I think the kid is going to adopt whatever values lead to their own perceived gratification, complete moral relativity based on whatever leads to the greatest gratification of the moment.

People try their best but I really don't believe parents have all that much control, ultimately, on their kids values further than monkey see monkey do, with the monkeys not really asking why they do what they do.

Not to mention I can't tell you how many forums or chat room sessions with people asking this question I've read and so many times people are like "I bring home 30 men/women over the course of the week to bang, but I impress on the importance of valuing others and being respectful to women/men. I am so lonely and my profile/attitude reeks of self hatred and low self esteem, but I teach my kids to love themselves first."

I think the better question would be:
"What values do you think you consistently represented by your actions."

But like most forum questions of a highly subjective nature you might as well ask "what kind of smoke can you blow up my butt so you can manipulate my perceptions and judgment of you while stroking your own ego."

Wow... I read your post and felt I had to respond to some of it. I don't mean to be harsh so please don't take me wrong...
I can tell you that my children learned from me to be honest... trustworthy, what respect, honour, hard work, ethics, love, and so many other things.

I know this because I lived by those things and more and to see my children as awesome people that are passing those things down to their children is a wonderful thing to see.. Am I, my children or grandchildren perfect... Not even close but we continue to get up each day and try each new day to do the best we can.

We only live this life once so therefore we must do it well.



Who's ego is being stroked? The OP's ??? the posters here that posted honestly ??
Who's being manipulated?? I see no one..
I am curious I hope you see this post and explain it...

look both ways before you cross the street.....

Thought this was a thread for available lepidopterists.