Sassy I agree it is absolutely about mutual respect

Rains I do agree chores are just chores and things need doing so everyone pitch in and do your share..not sure when being a helpmate and true partner became being in competition over who had the hardest day and deserves or is ENTITLED to sympathy or being served on silver platter

We now have to face the grim reality of what occurs when we let the "village raise the child" instead of the parents.

I thought of you and yer feller the other day while I watched a couple trying to get a late 30's, early 40's Ford tractor running. He was elbow deep in it and she was bouncing around fetching tools, pulling out the wiring diagram, holding this or that on the opposite side, getting drinks, even wiped his brow one time for him. They worked like that for nearly 4 hours and had it cranking. The whole time they were BOTH smiling.

Most gals nowadays woulda been sitting at home or running around with their girlfriends instead of forsaking all others to assist her man in his efforts that are for their combined benefit.

As my mama used to say " you ain't entitled to a damn thing and you ain't a gonna get what you aren't willing to give"

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My generation & older, I still hear comments like " taking care of your man".
And I assume age, cultural backgrounds etc, factor into it,& cut them slack.
But I reply with " Yes, of course, but what does SHE get out of it?"

..... and they have a blank look on their face ....

Well, I have my answer

Remember when your parents told you to get off the phone, not because they needed to use it, just because you had been on there long enough?

You mean besides a stable home, life necessities, a happier, healthier, more loving, life long marriage?

I can't think of anything else unless you want to haggle material wants.

Mutual..take care each other

Those^^^things are nice, but they don't necessarily spell gentleman...Even so, gentlemen are alive and well and ladies will always be ladies... :-)


The Women's Liberation Movement continues to accomplish many positive things for all humanity, but one result that is seldom talked about is the "Men's Liberation Movement...Just as the Women's Liberation Movement of the 70's condemned men for keeping them "down", the Men's Liberation Movement today has responded in kind...What's really happening is evolution and change...The birth of the modern gentleman and the modern lady...Today's ladies prefer a more straight forward approach and today's gentlemen make it their business to recognize the signals and act accordingly...Chivalry, in its truest sense, is not modern...It worked quite well when women were considered chattel, but in today's world a real gentleman would never treat a woman as his personal property...I like this modern version of ladies and gentlemen, I like it a lot!...

Think that ideas of gender roles have definitely been evolving..so much so that a guy doesn't know if holding door is gonna get him a thank you or a dirty look

Well I must admit it isn't all about chivalry. I would often take advantage of opening the car door by getting close enough to sniff her perfume, caress her gently, or stare into her eyes as we stood there motionless for an instant. Of course, I don't do that anymore. I'll open the door for ya, but no more of the mushy stuff.

Exactly!!....and a real gentleman is gonna pay attention and figure it out because he IS a gentlemen...In many respects I feel for the guys, but that doesn't change the fact that I embrace of the new deal....

And then there the pretenders who do it just so they can squeeze some booty without getting slapped...

like I said " then I have my answer "

May I get that door for ya ((((Leigh))))?

This really struck me, since recently my eldest son and I were having dinner, he went on to tell me...

"Mom I don't know what I did wrong the other day, this woman was coming out of a door as I was coming in and I held it open for her. She snapped at me...I can open a damn door by myself.... I didn't know what to do I just held it open"

His confusion was priceless, after I got done chuckling, I told him, you hold that door open not for the woman but for you and what you believe in. And if they don't like it...NO you can't shut it on them.. just smile and say have a nice day...




Exactly... it is taking care of each other and it is showing courtesy to someone you don't even know or will ever know...If you are in a relationship giving to one another doesn't take anything away from you as a person it only allows you to grow...


I have a sister like this and she wonders why she can't make a relationship work...

I will most likely be as greasy as he is I love working on engines...and yes you can be a woman and still get greasy

When we lived in country we did all this stuff together:running chainsaw and cutting and stacking firewood,tending garden,weed whipping and mowing lawn..
even planting flowers. When he was home he would often take over cooking dinner to give me a break from it

I do things because the other person is a human animal just like me, not because I view them as weak or helpless. I make no comments to try and pry a "thank you" from their lips. I don't ask their name, relationship status, tell them they smell or look "good". So what raises the ire here?

I don't think a gentleman spends much time trying to discern whether or not the person he's opening a door for is going to be angered by this simple social pleasantry. He simply opens the door. How is that demeaning?

Do they desire rudeness to feel righteousness in their contempt for another?

The only person I will ask before assisting is someone who is obviously physically handicapped and wants, even NEEDS, to do things on their own in order to come to grips with or overcome their disability.

I don't find feminism a disabling disease, so just walk through the door. What's the big deal?

When I am on college campus and a young man sees me coming behind and makes point of waiting for me and holds door I always say thank you hon but then again I say same thing when a young lady does this

Our 4-H young men complained about our teaching them the basics about common curtsies - especially for elderly folks: "some people just get mad at us for opening doors - even the older guys do too"...
We'd tell them to just---smile and reply; 'that's how we were raised and SMILE PROUDLY!'



Yipper...20yrs of TEAM work for my dearly departed husband & I; rarely ever had to ask each other 'what can I do to help you today'...because we had our morning session at the breakfast table and knew where the work was and what we needed to do! And if the **** hit the fan and it all went bust and equipment failed somewhere on a jobsite then it was 'ALL HANDS ON DECK' --- but we pulled together until the last dirty dish was done and evening meal put away and some down time in front of the TV or radio. Shared jobs: inside & outside and with our business too.