Anything that is "normal" can be done in a crazy way.

Incessantly asking questions, and especially becoming tense or hostile about it, can indicate psychological problems.

Little kids are famous for repeatedly asking why, once they discover how that question can be used to accomplish goals OTHER than getting an answer. Like a lot of parents, I had to learn the hard way, that my kids weren't JUST trying to become the most informed people on the planet, and they weren't signalling that they thought I was all that brilliant. They wanted to stay up later when it was bed time, and asking why and getting an answer would buy them time.

I've experienced more than one person who asks questions like SassyEuro described. All the ones I've known, had big problems. The most egregious was eventually diagnosed Bipolar. All of them had social issues, and some amount of paranoia.

If the person Sassy describes wasn't showing hostility or fear when asking lots of questions, then it's more likely that she was using the questioning as a manipulative technique closer to what my kids did, thinking that she was developing greater closeness and involvement with the person she was questioning, even as she was driving them away.

Who knows, maybe she has fear of abandonment, and this is how it reveals itself.

I do not have anyone like this ^^^^^ in my life SassyEuro2,
but there are times I am guilty of asking
too many questions here in the forum

Partly because I still do not know how to post
politically -correct statements in English.

It is easier for me to post it as a question
for my take of a certain post to come out right
and say what I actually mean.

But the most important reason, why I ask questions is because
most of the time I misunderstand and misinterpret posts.
Even from people I like and respects.

I am one of those, who do not agree readily or bond thru
short bantering posts, I do not know how.

That is why when I admire or agree to a post, it is sometimes
corny or too flattering.

And when I give my take - it is a long post hahaha
Partly because I want to discourage those who does not like me
to stop reading my posts.

I know I really have to learn
to write posts, in a politically correct way,
so it wont sound personal:)
I need time for this.



I think you did yourself a favor SassyEuro in stopping yourself
in communicating with her.Or telling her less & less.

Why?
Because if you find her nosey & suspicious
and basing only on this post, you find her a nuisance.

I say,you are both wasting your time & resources being friends.
She is certainly not good for you because she does not make you
feel good or happy, or challenge you to be a better person.
She does not inspire loyalty from you.
Real friendship inspires loyalty,
even when you get exhausted hahaha.
True friends corrects and laugh about each
others mistakes hilariously.
Even rib each other about it from time to time:)



I think you are in a position to criticize your friend
because you are the one communicating with her.

I can only speak for myself in this,
because I do not know your friend.

I had only 1 ex boyfriend hahaha
and yes I have questioned him too (to death )
like your friend.

Asks so many questions about his faith.
He did not run. It was me who walked away
after he answered all my questions.
And showed me what real faith is.
Found out he was too good, for the likes of me:)

" Who? What? When? Where?Why? How? "�
I have a friend similar to this its not his constant go to response but often
He will hes my answer a question with a question mate lol I often play the mirror response game he gives up afta awhile lol (ie) who? Who do think ? What ? What eva or what do you think? When? About then .Where ? Where eva.Why? Why not?How ? How do you think? Its actually fun thinking up new respones that brigde the question back to him without answerin his question often no actual meaningful imformation is exchanged lol Thinking abt it we've obviously got to much time on our handz .

Yes!! He also asks what time is it? I reply, "Time to go!"

I can't imagine how funny it will be when he's older. He'll be like, "Well, my momma says the time is always "Time to go!"

Oh God! She reminds me of him.
I needed this laugh. :-)

Woa... Igor. You're on to something here

"I've experienced more than one person who asks questions like SassyEuro described. All the ones I've known, had big problems. The most egregious was eventually diagnosed Bipolar. All of them had social issues, and some amount of paranoia.

If the person Sassy describes wasn't showing hostility or fear when asking lots of questions, then it's more likely that she was using the questioning as a manipulative technique closer to what my kids did, thinking that she was developing greater closeness and involvement with the person she was questioning, even as she was driving them away.

Who knows, maybe she has fear of abandonment, and this is how it reveals itself."

I have been wondering about her mental health especially with her being overly suspicious. And she most definitely has a fear of abandonment.
This is the first time I didn't call & say 'good morning', she may think I am dead in a ditch... Because not calling would be abandonment. I changed my phone number & the' why's' took over as if I somehow messed her up .... by not telling her first.
Hhhaaa.. She lost me for a hour.

Well I am one of these people mainly to get a clearer picture of what a person is trying to tell me. I find sometimes I can't get a grasp of what a person is trying to tell me. So I ask questions..
Once I have the clear picture then I am fine.

I also have a child that woke up asking why? and went to sleep asking Why?

YEs it can get annoying.And what you are describing is a bit extreme

Chronicliar75,

I think you did yourself a favor SassyEuro in stopping yourself
in communicating with her.Or telling her less & less.

Why?
Because if you find her nosey & suspicious
and basing only on this post, you find her a nuisance.

I say,you are both wasting your time & resources being friends.
She is certainly not good for you because she does not make you
feel good or happy, or challenge you to be a better person.
She does not inspire loyalty from you.
Real friendship inspires loyalty,
even when you get exhausted hahaha.
True friends corrects and laugh about each
others mistakes hilariously.
Even rib each other about it from time to time:)

Thank you, I need that. I feel better with less contact & stopped telling her anything even remotely serious.
I now stick to food & shopping & childcare etc.. I don't think she can handle anymore than that, for whatever reason. Because I can not handle her with much more.
She is not supportive in anyway.
And your right about loyalty, because after a serious incident.. I am not feeling it.

Different friends for different things.
I except her as she is, I can not change or fix her.... Lol
So, I can only change myself.
Anymore toxicity & she is on her own.

SitkaRains ,

Well I am one of these people mainly to get a clearer picture of what a person is trying to tell me. I find sometimes I can't get a grasp of what a person is trying to tell me. So I ask questions..
Once I have the clear picture then I am fine.


Sure for a stranger or a client, but not for a friend in real life, or a crisis situation.

Example:
I called her for help once.
She didn't have a normal response to the immediate problem or inquire about my well being or safety or show any empathy. Instead she asked "why.. blah blah blah?"
It was totally inappropriate & irrelevant & a question I would have no way of knowing the answer to.
* Most of her questions, I don't know the answer to*

I am going to suggest Mexican soap operas to her, she needs a drama/crisis in technicolor, all laid out in front of her with a beginning, end & back story. Because real life... But 'why?'

I am not in the position to say something about
your friend since I do not know her SassyEuro2.

I also know you only, base on your posts since
we never instant message, so on this I want to
be fair & objective and hold back my opinion.




This is where I agree, that you made the right decision SassyEuro2.

I think your friend disappointed you.
And it is a big deal to you, that she is not supportive.
Maybe because you have always been supportive with her
and expects that in return she will do so.
I wish she knew how you feel.
Maybe things would be different.

Why? Because maybe your friend is
someone like me -

I always distance myself from people I like.
In mingle and in the real world.

In mingle -
I always try to not agree with them all the time.
I always remind myself that, there will come a time
that I will misinterpret or misunderstands his/her posts
and eventually may hurt him/her in the process
since I am tactless and disagreeable.

I always give space after I share what is in my
heart with someone, or after that someone shared
something personal to me.
I do not want to be clingy.
I do no want to be clinged on to.
It must be because I am used to being alone.

Most of the time, the person has to
really verbally say what he/she wants from me,
for me to do it. I am just clueless what people
expects from me. That is why setting of
proper expectations is very important to me.

Is it possible that your friend, is just really
clueless on what you expects from her?
Maybe your friend sees you as a force to reckon
with. Unbeatable and someone who does not need support:)

I am not making excuses for your friend SassyEuro2,
it is just a different perspective,
because given what u have posted,
I still say, u are better off without her.

chronicliar79,

I think your friend disappointed you.
And it is a big deal to you, that she is not supportive.
Maybe because you have always been supportive with her
Yes, that is what it feels like, disappointment. Pass the pain & anger & into disappointment. I think next will probably be a gray area, where I just don't care one way or the other; indifference.
---------
Why? Because maybe your friend is
someone like me -

I always distance myself from people I like.
In mingle and in the real world.

In mingle -
I always try to not agree with them all the time.
I always remind myself that, there will come a time
that I will misinterpret or misunderstands his/her posts
and eventually may hurt him/her in the process
since I am tactless and disagreeable.

I always give space after I share what is in my
heart with someone, or after that someone shared
something personal to me.
I do not want to be clingy.
I do no want to be clinged on to.
It must be because I am used to being alone.

Most of the time, the person has to
really verbally say what he/she wants from me,
for me to do it. I am just clueless what people
expects from me. That is why setting of
proper expectations is very important to me.

People suck. Real & the rest of us in your phone. You are too hard on yourself.
Expectations: We can never live up to them. From our parents to our death. It is pointless to even try. Easier said than done..I know. But the day I told myself I only have to answer to God & myself was very freeing. And maybe the first time I knew for sure that I was an adult.
-----------------------------------
Is it possible that your friend, is just really
clueless on what you expects from her?
Maybe your friend sees you as a force to reckon
with. Unbeatable and someone who does not need support:)

I am not making excuses for your friend SassyEuro2,
it is just a different perspective,
because given what u have posted,
I still say, u are better off without her.

Yea..she is clueless, but not in that aspect. She knows me & she knows I will survive & get rid of anything or anyone that hinders that. She knows it..but I doubt she can grasp it . And I know in her culture she is or feels trapped. Which I can understand but probably can not grasp.
Because I would plan an escape.
But there is a limit, to making excuses for people, even the ones that felt like a sister.

Thank you, again. This is for YOU
Sister Sledge - We are Family (lyrics): http://youtu.be/PsLBEjN9mUE/

You're welcome.
By the way, the video rocks
It gives off happy vibes -
cant help smiling!

Sassy that is totally different. When someone calls me for help as you know I listen then ask a few questions then problem solve.

There is a difference in the who,what, why and where analog in finding out pertinent information as to being nosey for nosey sake.

I have alot of them., though this may sound odds, but the truth is that I find them intriguing.

I have never met an adult like this (thank gawd)
But I stay away from people who drain my energy