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Topic: The cold hard facts of online dating
thecomebackkid26's photo
Wed 10/14/15 11:09 PM
While online dating might be useful for some people, it's definitely not everybody's niche and you shouldn't feel bad if you don't have success on a site like this or okcupid. Obviously humans are programmed to mate with the most attractive person they can find and online dating is like a supermarket. I feel as though people miss out on a lot of good opportunities because they have this mind set that they have to impress their friends or whatever. I've been there before and in hindsight I definitely regret missing out on getting to know a couple of people because I was too scared about what my friends would think. I think that the majority of people on here are just looking for fun but nothing serious. If you have a 6 pack and are 6'2 or if you are a really attractive girl these websites probably work good for you as far as meeting people but for the average people trying to meet people online might have less benefits than you think. I would try to do it the old fashioned way and face your fears and go talk to people. That's how my relationships always started. Goodluck!

soufiehere's photo
Wed 10/14/15 11:11 PM
And yet..here you are :-)

misstina2's photo
Wed 10/14/15 11:15 PM
flowerforyou thanks for sharingflowerforyou

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 08:02 AM
I cn i b ur frnd pls

no1phD's photo
Thu 10/15/15 08:56 AM
Well.. I do not know about a supermarket... but it is very similar to online shopping..lol... and as far as it being only a place for the uber attractive... I don't believe that's true..
Being attractive only means you get a little more attention... and it's usually just from those that are seeking a physical relationship... or someone that wants to be with someone that is as pretty as they are.... nothing wrong with that.!.. after all the eyes want what the eyes see... but not everyone has symmetry.... and being with someone just because of their looks.. can get old real quick.... ok admittedly the sex would be pretty hot.... that never really gets old..lol.. but then again you can have some pretty amazing hot sex... with someone that isn't a supermodel.... but when you're done with each other in the bedroom you can at least carry on a conversation...lol... because you're going to need something to fill up the other 45 minutes of the hour with..:wink: laugh

TMommy's photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:05 AM
in real life
there are some
that do what they do on here
judge someone based solely on appearance
or how physically appealing they find them
it is this initial attraction that leads them
to strike up a conversation or at least..try to

the difference occurs when in real life
you meet someone say while out with group of friends
and at first you think they are only so-so
average in looks department or not really your cup of tea
or who you would normally think of as attractive but
after getting to know them they become more attractive
because of sense of humor, personality traits, warmth

can work opposite way also
someone whom you thought of as gorgeous at distance
can turn out to be a real jerk
when they open their mouth and speak

Rock's photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:06 AM
Meh...

no1phD's photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:13 AM

in real life

can work opposite way also
someone whom you thought of as gorgeous at distance
can turn out to be a real jerk
when they open their mouth and speak
.. this^^ is why .. when I'm offline I say as little as possiblelaugh laugh :wink:

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Thu 10/15/15 10:47 AM

While online dating might be useful for some people, it's definitely not everybody's niche and you shouldn't feel bad if you don't have success on a site like this or okcupid. Obviously humans are programmed to mate with the most attractive person they can find and online dating is like a supermarket. I feel as though people miss out on a lot of good opportunities because they have this mind set that they have to impress their friends or whatever. I've been there before and in hindsight I definitely regret missing out on getting to know a couple of people because I was too scared about what my friends would think. I think that the majority of people on here are just looking for fun but nothing serious. If you have a 6 pack and are 6'2 or if you are a really attractive girl these websites probably work good for you as far as meeting people but for the average people trying to meet people online might have less benefits than you think. I would try to do it the old fashioned way and face your fears and go talk to people. That's how my relationships always started. Goodluck!

Interesting ... but you seem to miss the fact that in the time you were too busy trying to impress your friends, you would've screwed up in real life as well as on a dating site by going for the 'wrong' women. There's no difference. You see, your intent and mindset were the same, so you would've gotten the same results. So that's where your argument kind of falls flat on its face ...
It also means that people who are looking at the outside package only, will likely do this in real life too ... They'd prolly also forgo that woman/man who isn't the Mr/Ms Universe by looks.

Agree that in real life it's easier to notice, and get charmed, by someone who's less obvious. But if you yourself don't pay attention, are only looking for the supermodels, you still wouldn't notice them.
In a way it all comes down to your own focus, intent etc. Both online and in the real world.

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 10:58 AM
Okay! Thank you and I hope everything works out for you! Errrrr, what?

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 01:36 PM
I don't get it when people make dating sound like Halloween. Isn't it supposed to be nice and friendly and special. I think Crystal said it right about intent and mindset. I can sense bullcrap from a thousand meters and I bet most people can. The minute you start comparing one person to another you've got no chance and will never be happy.

SitkaRains's photo
Thu 10/15/15 06:44 PM

I don't get it when people make dating sound like Halloween. Isn't it supposed to be nice and friendly and special. I think Crystal said it right about intent and mindset. I can sense bullcrap from a thousand meters and I bet most people can. The minute you start comparing one person to another you've got no chance and will never be happy.



Ditto...

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 06:56 PM

online dating is like a supermarket.



Yes, and people are constantly looking for good deals in the supermarket. Sometimes they buy dented stuff if the price is right. :wink:

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 07:28 PM
Would you like some cheese with that whine?

I know you prob don't see it. But going by your own words, you are already defeated. "Words" like this only serves to make the poster look like he/she has little to no confidence in themselves. No confidence in one's self-has its own stench. The kind of stench that runs people, potential dates off from you. Sounds like someone needs to work on themselves for a while before trying to get a date.

AMILIA1724's photo
Thu 10/15/15 08:09 PM
This site have good result and others have bad.
In my case im lucky I have good result in this site and so thankful for that. I already met him last month.

I wish you have a good result too on your quest...

Thesweetest85's photo
Thu 10/15/15 08:16 PM
The great thing about online dating is I feel I can be more myself online than in person. I feel like my personality shines because I don't have to worry about my nerves and shyness getting in the way of meeting new people. If I find someone I'm interested in and we chat a bit online before we meet, if we meet I can determine if he's a good guy, trustworthy and if we're combatable. I can also decide what is the best time, place for us to meet and talk in person. I'm not as nervous as I would have been if I had met someone I like in real life.

no photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:19 PM
Online dating has been real fun for me. I just wish if i could meet some curvier and sexier looking women. I like women with nice shape.

TMommy's photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:38 PM

Online dating has been real fun for me. I just wish if i could meet some curvier and sexier looking women. I like women with nice shape.
good plan stan maybe now they will see this and send ya some pics :thumbsup:

Annierooroo's photo
Thu 10/15/15 09:41 PM


Online dating has been real fun for me. I just wish if i could meet some curvier and sexier looking women. I like women with nice shape.
good plan stan maybe now they will see this and send ya some pics :thumbsup:


Not me he doesn't have a picture. Is he a guy or maybe a girl?

chronicliar75's photo
Thu 10/15/15 10:44 PM
I actually like the take of the OP a bit
regarding- The cold hard facts of online dating:smile:
Especially about the
"old fashioned way and face your fears and go talk to people"
but with all due respect,
I would beg to disagree on few things
about the benefits of dating online -

In real life date
people dress & cologne,
you would think physical appearance is everything,
and not personality & compatibility.

In Mingle (dating site)
people read & interpret words
it holds more credence than any pictures u posts
or lack of pictures
You could actually check & dwell more
on personality & compatibility.

In real life date
people eat a hearty meal,
enjoy some music & lots of laughter
& always keep their distance so
nothing will be construed as something serious while
both are still getting to know each other if they are compatible.
And yet put their best "foot" forward.
Ironic.Tiresome.Monotonous & Predictable.

In Mingle (dating site)
people just express themselves by
answering posts, to get a better
take at each other,
-everyone has a choice to believe
each others word or not.
-everyone has a choice to put
his/her best or worst"foot' forward.
-everyone has a choice to just have
fun or want to be emotionally involve.

In real life date-
U cant even get to know the person
better behind the gentleman smiles,
& unrealistic attention to details.

So a 2nd date & 3rd date is in order.
And people have to make
room with it in their busy schedule
and for what?

Another predictable, almost
scripted date?- u would almost wish
the guy would put his worst
foot forward first,
to see if u are compatible or not
and skip the uneccessary bs

In Mingle (dating site)
-everyone has a choice at his/her own pace
-u could even take a break in
getting to know a person for as long as u want,
before u make a choice or not make a choice at all.

In real life date -
Women have to be picky & cautious
if u do not want to go home
after a date
with bruised wrist, bruised
forearm and a cut lip because
there are just men, who are
very gentlemanly in words & gestures
but when u dont give them what they
want, they resort to violence.
U feel the need to teach them a lesson.

In Mingle (dating site)
people still need to be picky,
even extra cautious & skeptical,
but u dont get bruises.
yes u get rejected & bullied,
but u only actually get hurt
if u allow people to get in your head
& under your skin.
U learn to get up, dust yourself off,
take it in stride & learn from the
experience.

In real life date-
personal growth & new knowledge
is almost next to nil.
Your date feels the need to compete
& prove who has better income,
better job, better lifestyle to
keep up & convince u to merit
a 2nd date of getting to know each other.

In Mingle (dating site)
you do not need to compete with anyone,
it is illogical & unnecessarry
if u want to keep up, u can take your own path,
at your own pace,
you can take your time to learn & figure out,
u can actually learn from other
people's experiences by just reading
and observing instead of participating.
Personal growth is very possible & within your reach
if u are diligent & willing enough to improve yourself.

My long way of saying-Physical Appearance??
Not that important compared to personality
& compatibility online for me laugh



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