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Topic: The Right Thing to Do
Wiitard's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:35 PM
My GF broke up with me 2 weeks ago for no apparent reason (that's why I joined this site) by saying, "I just feel like breaking up with you right now. Bye."

3 hours later, she sent me a text message saying she thinks she made a mistake, etc. etc.

For a week I try and just forget about her, she called at least twice every day even though I never answered, and sent a text or two each day as well.

Finally, I answered the phone about a week after she broke up with me. She said she thinks she made a mistake, etc, etc, and long story short asked me to be her bf again.

I told her I don't know if I can trust her because she just broke up with me for no reason. I said I need some time.

So, currently, we're in a talking situation, but not officially together, haven't even seen each other since the break up.

I've met some fun people (girls) at school, work, and on here. I haven't hooked up with anyone, haven't gone out with any of them, but some of them have hinted at the idea of going out, or something along those lines. I've been completely honest with everyone, and told them that I'm not quite over my ex and the possibility of me getting back with her. I think this is honest, and the right thing to do with them.

My ex doesn't know I'm even on this site. Is it shady for me to be here, and is it shady that she doesn't know?

Your opinions please.

Queenie9t's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:38 PM
I have a few questions. 1) how old is this girl 2) how long were you dating and 3) how serious was it?

Sometimes we (and I mean men AND women) get scared when a relationship starts moving fast, and instead of sitting back and looking at the whole picture, we freak, and end it. But then, if you can't get that person out of your head, and you can't imagine being without them, you realize that you jumped the gun too quickly. If this is the case, and she's brave enough to ask for a second chance, you should give it to her.. if you care about her enough.

But who the hell am I right? lol

marky84's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:39 PM
hmmm

well

its not shady for u to be here since ur broken up, but take ur time b4 u give her another chance

i usually give guirls a second, or 100th chance, but dont be a dumbass like me savvy?

take ur time and think about it and maybe give her a 2nd chance, she might mean wat she says

altho, if she was that casual about leavin u maybe u shouldnt, if it was me i could go either way

willy_cents's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:40 PM
not shady at all to be here. This is a friends site first, and whatever else second. Depends upon how you want to end up feeling about her whether you date or not. You are fairly young...so don't be afraid to check out the whole world before you secide to settle down. If you want to be with her...then go for it...if not go for that too. has to be your choice from the inside of your soul

Wiitard's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:41 PM
1. She's 20
2. A little over a year
3. Not the love of my life (though I'm not ruling it out), but warming up to it

I was just surprised that it came out of no where.

We had our arguments before, we had our fights, we had broken up and gotten back before because of an argument/fight, but this was the first time to have happened for no reason what-so-ever.

In any case, before I can get back with her, I need to know she won't just drop the break up bomb on me again for no reason. She sent me an email saying she's not sure if we're right for each other...is this supposed to show me she won't just break up with me again, or is it a clear sign that she's jumping back and forward between I want you, I don't want you?

Queenie9t's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:43 PM
sounds like she's confused. The ****ty thing about dating, is you can NEVER know 100% that the person wont leave you.. it really depends on how much you want to be with her, and if it's worth the risk. I think you're doing the right thing by taking it slow, and being open to meet new people.

Jtevans's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:44 PM
it's not shady for you to be here,this isn't just a dating site.it's for meeting new friends too.atleast you're being honest with people.i think you should do whatever you feel is the right thing to do,if you make a mistake,only you can learn from it.noone else can but that's JMO :smile:

Wiitard's photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:45 PM
OK, cool. Mainly I wanted to make sure I'm not being a shady @$$hole by being on a "dating" site.

Technically I'm single, but she is trying to win me back...

no photo
Thu 10/18/07 08:55 PM
u have to know what is the reason and do not say no reason and do not leason to her that there is no reason every thing hapen by reason so if know u will make the rit decision ,,good luk

Wiitard's photo
Thu 10/18/07 09:00 PM
If there is a reason that she had to do so, she isn't sharing it. I asked her why she did, and she said I don't know why, I just felt like it at the time.

TheShadow's photo
Thu 10/18/07 09:33 PM
If that is the answer she gave you. Dude don't wast your time and enerdy on what could happen next

no photo
Thu 10/18/07 09:34 PM
you are broken up so its not shady you being here i mean the

only thing that youve done here is try to get advice my

question is:do you think that there might have been another guy

who had entered the picture at the time she broke up with

you and things didnt work out with him the way she wanted

so back to you she went i mean if she cant give you a

straight forward answer theres got to be a reason im not saying

this is the case its that its happened to me something just

dont add up here: just a thought


Wiitard's photo
Thu 10/18/07 09:49 PM
honestly, i did think that too, tombraider. but, other than this one thing there was nothing else to make me think that.

Gams's photo
Thu 10/18/07 10:04 PM
Got Nike's....run...run fast....really fast....leave skid marks!

no photo
Thu 10/18/07 10:16 PM
well if youre going to get back with her youre going to have to find a way to get her to open up to you because when women dont the mind starts to wander i hope things work out for you no matter what you decide..TC

ephraimglass's photo
Thu 10/18/07 11:06 PM
I don't think that there would be a problem in you getting back together with her. You have expressed a concern, however, that you may not be able to trust her and rightly so. If she can not explain what prompted her to break up with you, then there are two matters that you need to address with her if you hope to maintain the long term potential of the relationship.

1. She does not know her own heart. I can say from painful experience that before somebody can be honest with their partner, they need to be honest with themselves. She broke up with you because she "felt like it." To me, that sounds ridiculous. Feelings are not without cause. She needs to think carefully about the situation so that she can figure out just what sort of feeling it was and what may have caused it. Was she feeling mistrustful, insulted, bored?

2. She acted hastily on an emotional cue. Some people are more prone to this than others, but you may need to communicate to her how her actions made YOU feel. It is one of my firmest opinions that love is a thoughtful decision that one makes with the wellbeing of one's partner in mind. Her actions were neither thoughtful nor made with your wellbeing in mind. A lasting, healthy relationship involves effort, discipline, and compromise. Neither partner can do things just because they feel like it.

Wiitard's photo
Wed 10/24/07 08:04 PM
*UPDATE*

brokenheart It's officially over...brokenheart

*UPDATE*

sybariticguy's photo
Fri 11/07/14 11:04 AM
At twenty few are capable of maturity sufficient to facilitate a healthy stable relationship.Suggest you try dating and less emphasis on a relationship as your past history reflects poor communication skills on both your part and i suspect more unfinished business is likely to continue

no photo
Fri 11/07/14 11:10 AM
the original post was 7 years ago...I am sure he has moved on and dated many slaphead whoa

Fit4ever's photo
Fri 11/07/14 11:40 AM
personally I would no longer trust her.

However, I say have sex with her and then tell her you made a mistake.

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