I am just trying to find out which STATUS to post.
I am legally separated and all the paperwork has been done by the lawyers and all has been registered in the courts etc. This was eight years ago. The divorce papers etc. will be a breeze I have been told, but there are more legal fees involved. At the present time, I do not want to spend anymore money on getting the Divorce status...I have been dating, and when asked I say divorced...technicality aside....What do the ladies on here think.
PS: I do understand, that in the event of a upcoming marriage, which could be in my future,the Divorce status is a must. Comments please..

You answered your own question when you wrote, "I am legally separated."

Don't lie to people. It's not a good way to start a relationship.
Finish up your old relationship, ie get the divorce papers, before you start any new ones.

get your divorce...simple...and final...
and then move on...

Legally separated does not mean nothing to me.. If they tell me any more they are separated I tell them get your Divorce then talk to me...

Separated is nothing but a excuse not to let go...as far as I see it...

I do understand there are states that make you wait so long to get a divorce.. if so then as long as they were taking the steps to final it all is good..

But 8 years and still no Divorce for me it is a red flag...

I think you're kinda screwed no matter what you do.

I mean you have "divorced" in your user name.
If you put "separated" or "legally separated," and have "divorced" in your name, it's going to look like you consciously chose to lie and slipped up and accidentally let the cat out of the bag that you are only separated.

Plus, if you have "divorced" as part of your name to a lot of people that's just going to read "thinks a lot about divorce. Thinks a lot about his ex. Not really single."
I mean it's not "motorcycleguy," or, "fishingluvr," it's "divorced."

If you put "divorced" in your status, at some point it's going to come up that you are "legally separated."
And if someone wants to, they're going to take that as deception, and you aren't divorced.

But that's for the "average" person that online dates. A general response.

There are going to be people that are going through the same thing you are, or frankly just don't care as long as you aren't living with your ex.

And really, it might not matter at all what you put.

Online dating kinda sucks.

What's the difference between receiving 100 emails from people it's guaranteed to fail with and receiving 4 emails from people it could actually work with?
Do you value the difference between 100 contacts that never go anywhere, and receiving no contact for months and then getting into one that leads to a date?

No matter what you put in your profile it's going to turn some people off and limit your dating pool.

Im in the same situation only mines been 4 years separated. i live my life and my ex lives hers. we only talk when it has to do with the kids. so some people understand and some don't. for those that say you're not letting go or whatever, well don't even worry about that nonsense. i totally understand your situation and as long as you and the ex are living separate lives then you have a right to move on. to hell with the nay sayers in my opinion. just my thoughts. good luck.

I think you should fork out the dough and get the damn paperwork

cannot fathom why some people do this..separated for years but not actually divorced

I've been down the divorce road. At the time, We had a two-year-old and she just found out she was pregnant with our second child. So, we had to wait a year before the divorce was final. No way would I have waited 4 years or longer. But I do know that in my state as long as you don't want to bicker over who takes what, 500 bucks and you are divorced. Most times in 30 days.

So, the way I look at it, separated is just that. You are separated but still married. And I know that doesn't fly with most women. They don't want any lingering drama from a past relationship. If you really want your freedom, you could get it. Unless someone wants to be hardheaded.

^^^^^ This
I don't date married/involved men. Period.

And sorry to say, but a man who plans to finalize his divorce on Tuesday morning so he can propose to me on Tuesday afternoon ...
I think I'd take a rain check. A permanent one ...

For a guy this is probably a non-emotional issue, a technicality. For women this IS emotional.

As far as your answer what you should post you should tell the truth you are separated! Legally separated is not Divorced no matter how you look at it.. Your still married..

For those guys that think those of us that will not date Married guys that is our choice.. Done been there done that and not doing it again.. When a guy/woman is separated, and not in a process of a divorce. Then to me they are focusing on the wrong thing..

Get your life in order with all the T's crossed and the I's dotted and move on with your life.

Why does anyone want that hanging over their heads.. Last two guys I would have dated was in this situation.. Told them point blank we can be friends till you get your life in order...

I dated while I was getting my Divorce difference was I had no intention of looking back and leaving that door open.. Paper work was in progress before I even went to lunch with someone else.

Honestly I see no reason not to get a divorce if that part of your life is over then follow through and cut ties..

I just can't see the reasoning behind not getting a divorce. Just something that they don't want to pay for or deal with.. Makes me wonder what else they don't want to deal with..

I see. So it's okay when YOU date while only separated, but anyone else who does it is a fool or lazy or something.

Humm that is not what I said even in my first post I said it was okay to date if you are in fact in the process of getting a Divorce.. I think 4-10 years you are way past even starting to get one..

My divorce was already in process when I started dating and there was no turning back..

Never said one was lazy or a fool just not getting on with their lives and closing the doors..

But hey if it works for you then great... just saying I will not date a guy that has no intentions of closing past doors..

Get it done, plain and simple.

I have heard a whole lot of justifications for not doing it..

well we are still tied into the mortgage don't want to lose the house
well my retirement is still in both our names
we would have to divide up assets
well my wife isn't working and I don't want to make her get a job
well I still have minor children covered under my insurance and I am paying the bills..still making her car payment

we are still on same insurance, our life insurance policies..
we, we, we, we, we...



funny how two people can live apart but still be a "we"

^^^^^^

Stole my thoughts TMom.

I don't really get why you guys have this separated thing?
Does that mean that when you file for divorce, you always end up being 'separated' first?

Over here, you file for divorce and you get a divorce.

In the past you could also file for separation, but then you obviously didn't file for divorce. If memory serves, it did lead to divorce after X amount of years (2 or 3, not very long anyways)
I think ppl sometimes did this for reasons mentioned: hoping to reconciliate, financial etc.
But as far as I know, it's totally obsolete, the option may not even exist anymore.
I mean, why bother? You either want to break up or you don't.

So here, someone is either married or divorced. Makes life a helluva lot easier.

Ohh and just to highlight it a bit more... on this question...

I had called a Lawyer to start my Divorce on a Friday. I asked my ex to leave on the following Sunday. Monday I called the Lawyer to let her know he had in fact moved out without fighting about it and my Divorce was started...

Ohh and Cystal.....In the State of Texas once you file it normally takes under 90 days from the time you file to the time you are Divorced... If there is no fighting which we did not. So my paper work was in place with the courts prior to me dating.. I knew it was over no reason to stay as a couple when all chances had been giving and tried to work it out.. I paid for the Divorce.

There is no reason for separation papers if you plan on getting a Divorce that is just a extra cost that could have went towards the Divorce..

There are some states that require you be separated for up to 2 years, before filing for Divorce.. If you live in one of those states then you have no choice but to follow those laws.. I do not, therefore I see no reason for a Legal Separation instead of a total Divorce..

For those that choose to go that route I have no problem with what their choices are, or with them.. I do have a problem making them part of my life when they can not let go of their past...

Murder would have been so much easier.

Hahahah Jo and quicker but.... I wish no harm on him we just could not see eye to eye anymore what a marriage was about... So we ended it.. without all the fighting and arguing but seen no reason that we both could not move on with our lives and other people.. We still communicate to this day about our kids and grand kids.. Our relationship is in the past where it should be..