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Topic: Why is it so hard to find the right guy?
eurochic74's photo
Mon 06/13/16 09:18 PM
Edited by eurochic74 on Mon 06/13/16 09:28 PM
It shouldn't be this hard..either he is in the states and I'm not looking for long distance relationship, or he has a job that takes him away from home all the time which means travelling all the time for work, or he is too young, or he just wants one thing etc..it's always something..
I'm looking for the right guy for me..my true love..my life partner..I know what I been through and I know I deserve a great guy..it's time for my happiness..I guess it's as they say, when u want something u won't get..
Rina

craigstevens11's photo
Mon 06/13/16 09:37 PM
Cause you women put too many road blocks up He must be within blah blah miles must be so tall must weigh this much must look like Brad Pitt...Your wants are unattainable... Thats why some women have been on here months and months ( except those here for the forums) When you realize Mr. Perfect DOESNT exist thenn.. youll find the guy or gal for you...Happy hunting!!

eurochic74's photo
Mon 06/13/16 09:46 PM
I didn't put up those kind of things in my profile..I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect..just looking for the right guy for me..and no I don't want a Brad Pitt, far from it..u don't even know what kind of guy I'm looking for..so stop assuming and generalizing things on all women..

jdave442's photo
Mon 06/13/16 09:53 PM
yeah I agree with you... you can bring the perfect from the man you have live and affection for

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Mon 06/13/16 09:56 PM
It's luck, when all is said and done.

Even for the situations where people DO try to "lower their expectations" as someone always calls for us to do. That is, only a lucky few CAN ignore their natural tastes, hungers, needs, desires, and so on, and be happy with the results.

Sometimes I envy the sluts of the world, because they do seem to have a good time, no matter what they are with.

All I can do is sympathize with you, OP. There are plenty of us who feel as though we are on the wrong part of the planet, or in the wrong universe altogether. Nothing to be done about it, but wish, hope, prey, or whatever else you can do to get yourself to keep trying.

dreamerana's photo
Mon 06/13/16 10:02 PM

It shouldn't be this hard..either he is in the states and I'm not looking for long distance relationship, or he has a job that takes him away from home all the time which means travelling all the time for work, or he is too young, or he just wants one thing etc..it's always something..
I'm looking for the right guy for me..my true love..my life partner..I know what I been through and I know I deserve a great guy..it's time for my happiness..I guess it's as they say, when u want something u won't get..
Rina


I don't think there's anyone who would say they deserve less than the best.
I think most if us believe we deserve to be happy.
I can't argue with that, but happiness isn't a permanent or external condition.
sometimes when we seek the best we want an ideal. we focus so much on trying that we don't notice what's around us. I hope you find what you seek and appreciate the positive along the way

eurochic74's photo
Mon 06/13/16 10:06 PM
Thanks. .ya I guess it's gotta be some luck too..but also is when u stop looking for something that's when u find it..

eurochic74's photo
Mon 06/13/16 10:08 PM
Your right. .sometimes we don't realize what's right in front of us. .

no photo
Mon 06/13/16 10:15 PM
Why is it so hard to find the right guy?

What exactly have you done to find them?

Have you just gone online weeding them out profile by profile?

A lot of women approach "finding the right guy" similar to some fat people seeking nutrition.
"Why is it so hard to be healthy? I only go to McDonald's every day but I make sure to eat a salad at least once with a meal!"

Do you develop hobbies?
Do you extend your circle of friends?
Do you use different approaches, like different websites?
Do you go out in public by yourself?
Do you attempt to highlight positive features about yourself?
Do you do things that help you be/look/feel attractive, healthy, happy rather than just demand people accept you and provide you happiness?

How much of trying to find the "right guy" simply revolves around one internet site? Or only online dating?

If you have a life set up to facilitate a state of being alone, then that's what it is going to support and actually inhibit change.
If so, all you're going to be doing with dating is trying to shoehorn someone into your life. And no one wants to simply be an extension of your life. Especially if it's tailored and structured solely to your convenience and benefit.

If you don't want to be alone, you really have to change your entire life as though you aren't alone.


I don't know why it's so difficult. You don't say anything about what you actually have done to try and find the right guy.

All this:
either he is in the states and I'm not looking for long distance relationship, or he has a job that takes him away from home all the time which means travelling all the time for work, or he is too young, or he just wants one thing etc

doesn't say anything but that you've judged people to be the wrong guy.

And this:
I know I deserve a great guy..it's time for my happiness..I guess it's as they say, when u want something u won't get..

comes across as though you see yourself as a victim.
As though you are entitled to a "great guy" and "happiness," but since you don't have either then it's someone else's fault for not handing it to you.


So it would be easier to offer you something if you were to provide information like:
"I've tried meetup, I go to the library, I hang out at barnes and noble, I've tried a wine club, I made new friends at work and on facebook, I took foreign language and cooking classes, I go to the gym regularly, I'm on 3 different dating sites and I email 3 guys a week to see if they want to see a movie. All my new friends know of no good guys. I'm not meeting quality or single guys with what I'm doing.
What else should I be doing? Is there anywhere or anything I'm missing? It just seems hard to find the right guy. What else would you recommend?"


jamesmm1456's photo
Wed 06/15/16 06:06 AM
Edited by jamesmm1456 on Wed 06/15/16 06:07 AM
The problem for all of us, both men and women, is that we really want a custom fit in an off the rack world. We also are not totally honest with ourselves, and our own evaluation. Everyone has their own set of personal wants and needs that are not expressed, because they are out of the norm. If we are not straight forward and perfectly honest, even when we do find someone, it will fall apart because to start with, we must be honest with ourselves.

eurochic74's photo
Wed 06/15/16 12:31 PM
Yes ..true..

msmyka's photo
Wed 06/15/16 01:31 PM
It's hard because it takes patience to wait for the right guy and confidence to know when you deserve better.

Patience + Confidence = Success :)

no photo
Wed 06/15/16 01:56 PM
Yes, I'm still taking my time looking for the right guy for me. Not the perfect guy.

no photo
Wed 06/15/16 02:05 PM
Qell heres to being different i fomt thimk i drserve the nest or deserve anything no one os entitled to anything exept im the case of human rights and the bill of rights
I woild like a decent guy amd doubt ibwill get a long qith someone currently on drugs as i domt do drugs o dont care if he smoles or if he is tall that would ne nice but doesnt matter what maters is he is someone i am attracted to if not i will no romantic intrest and would ne a friend however due to my intrest in having a future where one day i am a mom it would be dramatically easier if the childs father had simular moral and ethical perspectives as to make decision making easier and high ethivs would be great due to my future buisness not needimg bad pr and in this day in age if woman dont speak up and have a opinion they get trampled just today i told a guy i dont belive in sex before marrige amd asked for a face pic bc he kept asking for more picture face pics after specifying. No perve pics i recived a inapropiate pic so yes woman have opinioms and want to be attracted to their romantic kntrest and may want someone with morals and religious match upbon important things what is wrong with that unless she is being a shallow hall or a gold digger

no photo
Wed 06/15/16 02:05 PM
Edited by ambitiouswomanofGod on Wed 06/15/16 02:11 PM
Well heres to being different i domt thimk i deserve the best or deserve anything no one is entitled to anything exept in the case of human rights and the bill of rights
I woild like a decent guy and doubt i will get a long with someone currently on drugs as i domt do drugs i dont care if he smokes or if he is tall that would ne nice but doesnt matter what maters is he is someone i am attracted to if not i will not have romantic intrest and would be friend zoned however due to my intrest in having a future where one day i am a mom it would be dramatically easier if the child's father had simular moral and ethical perspectives as to make decision making easier and high ethics (not mandatory) would be great due to my future buisness not needimg bad pr and in this day in age if a woman dont speak up and have an opinion they get trampled just today i told a guy i dont belive in sex before marrige amd asked for a face pic bc he kept asking for more picture face pics after specifying. No perve pics i recived a inapropiate pic so yes woman have opinioms and want to be attracted to their romantic kntrest and may want someone with morals and religious match upbon important things what is wrong with that unless she is being a shallow hall or a gold digger but i dont see any of those

no photo
Wed 06/15/16 02:30 PM
Guess i be the most comprehensive.....lol.....well you have to agree right guy is when ya stop looking for it and allow things flow in.... don't let it fade away for just the thought that you might get better.....dhang still need to trust before you get the right guy #trust #welcome #honor

no1phD's photo
Wed 06/15/16 03:07 PM
Edited by no1phD on Wed 06/15/16 03:08 PM

Your right. .sometimes we don't realize what's right in front of us. .
....(( hello))) standing right in front of you..lol..jk.. but you're right it is and does seem extremely hard to find the almost perfect match.
Goodluck to you... just keep the faith stay positive it will happen... and if that doesn't work just flash them your boobies..lol..soo kidding..wink

mightymoe's photo
Wed 06/15/16 03:40 PM

I didn't put up those kind of things in my profile..I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect..just looking for the right guy for me..and no I don't want a Brad Pitt, far from it..u don't even know what kind of guy I'm looking for..so stop assuming and generalizing things on all women..


lol... and yet he's not the one crying about about how hard it is finding the right one...

you define your choices, don't be mad at everyone else about the choices you set...maybe when you reread your post(to him), you might see a reason why it's so hard for you...

Goofball73's photo
Thu 06/16/16 07:14 PM
For the ladies out there......A hard man is good to find. bigsmile

no photo
Thu 06/16/16 10:12 PM
Edited by Two on Thu 06/16/16 10:15 PM

It shouldn't be this hard..either he is in the states and I'm not looking for long distance relationship, or he has a job that takes him away from home all the time which means travelling all the time for work, or he is too young, or he just wants one thing etc..it's always something..
I'm looking for the right guy for me..my true love..my life partner..I know what I been through and I know I deserve a great guy..it's time for my happiness..I guess it's as they say, when u want something u won't get..
Rina



Sounds like you are looking for one that is still married... Thus not available for you.

My advise is to take a young one, you can still mold and train them into what you want... Just sayin! tongue2

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