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| Topic: why men pulls away? | |
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why men normally pulls away from their prospective lover?
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fear of committment?
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So she doesn't get pregnant??? LOL
I think RustyKitty has one of the reasons. But I am not sure you can say "Normally" as most reasons would be arsehole dependent. Cause that's what the man would be... an Arse. My two cents... |
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There are many, often subtle reasons. So it depends.
Sometimes I have pulled away because I have begun to sense I don't belong with that person. Other times, it has been because I have become convinced that they don't like me, don't enjoy my company, even though I enjoy theirs. Sometimes it has been out of a certain amount of fear, but that usually happens very early on. Very often, the pulling away is NOT a sign of a desire to end the relationship, it is only a way to create some temporary emotional space, so that I can better figure out how I really do feel, and decide what I really do want. This last, is why it is often unwise to pursue someone who is upset, or appears sad, and who withdraws in order to ponder things. By following, and demanding an immediate decision be made, the only thing the withdrawing person CAN do, is say goodbye. Because we MUST back away in order to deal with the emotions and confused thoughts, so if we MUST decide now, then we have to end things, and then after we figure them out again, hope we can come back, if that's what we eventually decide. Anyway, short answer, again, is "it depends." Need details. |
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So she doesn't get pregnant??? LOL I think RustyKitty has one of the reasons. But I am not sure you can say "Normally" as most reasons would be arsehole dependent. Cause that's what the man would be... an Arse. My two cents... two cents for the humour 2e!lol! 
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And I have often seen in myself and others, that the pulling away is actually for an entirely and ironically positive reason: in the early part of a relationship, when we are flush with lust and wishful thinking, we can be in a hurry to have as much fun as possible, and we actually end up behaving very unlike our normal selves. Not faking anything per se, just going with our adrenaline rush and brain chemicals, and acting as anyone on drugs does.
In that case, the "pulling back" or "withdrawing," can be a calming down, and preparation to become our more honest and open selves with someone that we have decided to try to be serious with. Sort of taking a deep breath before settling in for good. Again, subtle, and not as simple and obvious as the pulling away action itself might imply. |
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fear of committment? I agree with you Kitty. Most of them maybe can't handle deep emotions for they are used to having superficial relationships that they can just get away without being scratched for they have a fear of commitment .They maybe afraid to face the possible consequences of getting into a deep emotional relationship.....to get hurt or maybe they are just not ready to face their own ghosts    
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why men normally pulls away from their prospective lover? Fear? Fear of being seen as weak. Fear of risk. Fear of consequences. Fear of losing power and control over themselves. Or maybe they just got what they wanted, so don't need anything anymore. Do you stick around a restaurant for days, weeks, months, after you've eaten? Communication issues? Maybe they aren't pulling away. Maybe you are moving "forward" and they're staying in the same place. Only from your perspective they're pulling away. Maybe you're expecting them to pull away and they're behaving how you (through indirect communication) expect them to, thinking they're giving you what you want. Maybe you've been pulling away the entire time, expecting to be "chased," and they've reached a point where they need to be "chased" back in order to get feedback that you're actually interested in them, so they've stopped and started acting in ways meant to trigger your pursuit of them, only you keep going, exacerbating the distance. Insecurity issues? Maybe they aren't pulling away, maybe you got what you wanted and are looking for reasons to end things, or you're scared they are going to pull away, so start looking at their same old behavior and finding the flaws you want to see. Poor life management and focusing skills? Sometimes, especially with online dating, people put their life on hold in order to pursue a romantic social relationship. Then in a whirlwind over a couple of days, weeks, months, they prioritize the bonding, the dating, the growing closer, over everything else. Then their "real" life, the job, the family obligations, the friends, the laundry, start piling up needing attention. Sometimes it's not "pulling away" so much as attempting to compartmentalize life, and just switch focus from one thing to the next, putting something on the backburner until it necessitates becoming a priority again. |
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Gets boring
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why men normally pulls away from their prospective lover? fear of committment? Often its because of the female commitment phobia. The female commitment phobia comes about from the fear of not getting a commitment. This female phobia has them seeking a commitment before doing their due diligence and has the undesired effect of initiating the males commitment phobia. Male commitment phobia is about the fear of being tied to some thing they don't want and often the thing that they don't want at that particular time is a commitment. But then again it can be that what the male wants to commit to and what the female wants to commit to are incompatible at a particular time. |
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Edited by
SimpyComplicated
on
Thu 08/11/16 04:26 AM
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And I have often seen in myself and others, that the pulling away is actually for an entirely and ironically positive reason: in the early part of a relationship, when we are flush with lust and wishful thinking, we can be in a hurry to have as much fun as possible, and we actually end up behaving very unlike our normal selves. Not faking anything per se, just going with our adrenaline rush and brain chemicals, and acting as anyone on drugs does. In that case, the "pulling back" or "withdrawing," can be a calming down, and preparation to become our more honest and open selves with someone that we have decided to try to be serious with. Sort of taking a deep breath before settling in for good. Again, subtle, and not as simple and obvious as the pulling away action itself might imply. I absolutely concur to this statement. this simply explains clearly the interconnected observation and understanding to this logical situation. with absolute truth. thanks Igor for sharing 
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fear of committment? this is one of the major factors to consider kitty 
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why men normally pulls away from their prospective lover? Fear? Fear of being seen as weak. Fear of risk. Fear of consequences. Fear of losing power and control over themselves. Or maybe they just got what they wanted, so don't need anything anymore. Do you stick around a restaurant for days, weeks, months, after you've eaten? Communication issues? Maybe they aren't pulling away. Maybe you are moving "forward" and they're staying in the same place. Only from your perspective they're pulling away. Maybe you're expecting them to pull away and they're behaving how you (through indirect communication) expect them to, thinking they're giving you what you want. Maybe you've been pulling away the entire time, expecting to be "chased," and they've reached a point where they need to be "chased" back in order to get feedback that you're actually interested in them, so they've stopped and started acting in ways meant to trigger your pursuit of them, only you keep going, exacerbating the distance. Insecurity issues? Maybe they aren't pulling away, maybe you got what you wanted and are looking for reasons to end things, or you're scared they are going to pull away, so start looking at their same old behavior and finding the flaws you want to see. Poor life management and focusing skills? Sometimes, especially with online dating, people put their life on hold in order to pursue a romantic social relationship. Then in a whirlwind over a couple of days, weeks, months, they prioritize the bonding, the dating, the growing closer, over everything else. Then their "real" life, the job, the family obligations, the friends, the laundry, start piling up needing attention. Sometimes it's not "pulling away" so much as attempting to compartmentalize life, and just switch focus from one thing to the next, putting something on the backburner until it necessitates becoming a priority again. dissecting each probable cause of this logical question sum up with batch of possible and pragmatic answers. in which I fully agreed as well. thanks for sharing ''incredible' logical assessment tom
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why men normally pulls away from their prospective lover? Prospective lover? I gather that the scenario is two people that are just getting acquainted and finding out if there is any chemistry there. Without all the other psychobabble like "fear of commitment"(not to say that can't be reason) it could be a simple case of not feeling the "connection". Research has shown people are attracted by pheromones and real chemistry. Although there may have been an initial physical attraction, it could be the man(or woman) just doesn't "feel it" and pulls away. |
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If a man is only in the relationship for the sex, then he will pull away at the mention of commitment.
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If a man is only in the relationship for the sex, then he will pull away at the mention of commitment. |
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If a man is only in the relationship for the sex, then he will pull away at the mention of commitment. Same goes for women 
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I would say also that if he or she is just dating you
or in a relationship with you...to kill time until something better comes along but is not in love then this may happen |
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Edited by
BreakingGood
on
Thu 08/11/16 08:41 AM
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All the above.
Okay, I add something different. Because her husband is pounding on the door. Good thing the window is open.
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