Topic: "MEN" are we really THAT bad?
isaac_dede's photo
Sun 11/20/16 12:58 AM
So I was was wondering why my fellow men have such a low expectation of other men?

What I mean is almost every male profile on here states the same thing "I'm NOT like OTHER guys"..

Why do we have such a negative view of our own gender?

no photo
Sun 11/20/16 01:38 AM
Edited by MetroMania on Sun 11/20/16 01:59 AM
I think we have had so much rejection that one of the ways, we deal with it is to assume women have been worked over by bad guys - instead of excepting, " She is just not into me" (And moving on)

So the blame goes everywhere else. Because "I am a good guy"

And of course, male competition.
Most men like to hear other men tore down. Unless sh@t hits the fan. And comradery sets in.
Then suck it up and saddle up bros! 







But I am metro and like green llamas- so what do I know? bigsmile


no photo
Sun 11/20/16 02:15 AM

So I was was wondering why my fellow men have such a low expectation of other men?

What I mean is almost every male profile on here states the same thing "I'm NOT like OTHER guys"..

Why do we have such a negative view of our own gender?

maybe hearing it out aloud from women just like sticks as a notion that you men should agree with us that you are all the same? :thumbsup:

isaac_dede's photo
Sun 11/20/16 04:26 AM
I was this guy once, and from growing and learning I think its like scepticalsoulmate says...guys learn this from women. ..so guys learn about other guys from a woman's perspective generally as the 'friend-zoned friend' listens to them crying about thr latest 'jerk' that just dumped her.

Most of the guys I've met with this attitude don't have many male friends, and generally have a hard time relating to other men and often come across as feminine (and they value this trait) when most women aren't into feminine guys, but would prefer a masculine guy instead, it seems we are doing ourselves a disfavor by trying to be different from 'other' guys.

IgorFrankensteen's photo
Sun 11/20/16 06:50 AM
Edited by IgorFrankensteen on Sun 11/20/16 06:53 AM


There's really two aspects to this particular phenomenon.

As the OP says, there are males who hear some women complain about other males, and who make the public mistake of trying to play along, thinking that the complaining women will want to go for a guy totally unlike what they are complaining about. That's usually a mistake, not because us guys are truly wonderful, but because they are overlooking the fact that the reason the women in question ARE complaining about the men they have been interacting with...is because they are CHOOSING to interact with that kind of men (so they aren't looking for a guy who is "not like other guys," they are looking for a guy exactly like those guys, only slightly more pliable to them personally.

Then there's the aspect of the ACTUAL problematic males of the world. There are plenty of those, intermittently including all of us, depending on the exact behaviors involved.

Something to consider, is that the reason why males and females have always complained en masse about each other, is because we ARE fundamentally different, at least in general. Thank goodness, otherwise the species would have died out.

Anyway. The sneaky thing is, that just like all the political nonsense going on these days, there are ENOUGH males who act like total jerks or even psychotics, to allow lots of women to get the idea that being a jerk is an essential male trait; just as there are enough women around who complain about the exact kind of males they are most attracted to, and never put two and two together, and look for a different kind of guy (thus giving lots of males, enough examples to persuade themselves that most women are "ditzy" or whatever).

You have to WORK, to keep yourself from over-generalizing about people.

Minor note: I don't read many male profiles, so I haven't witnessed this phenomenon directly here.



Beachfarmer's photo
Sun 11/20/16 11:55 AM
I like to set a lower precedent

no photo
Sun 11/20/16 12:42 PM
Men are competitive by nature., so we tend to discount the other guys in order to have better chances.

Been going on since the Roman days. I'm sure Hercules and Spartacus spread rumors about each other ;)

no photo
Sun 11/20/16 01:58 PM
They're different, just like everyone else?what

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Mon 11/21/16 10:56 AM

Men are competitive by nature., so we tend to discount the other guys in order to have better chances.

Been going on since the Roman days. I'm sure Hercules and Spartacus spread rumors about each other ;)

Being competitive is indeed a masculine trait, but I doubt a healthy, well-balanced masculine energy man would knock other men. I don't think he'd even think about doing so, as he doesn't feel the need for that. He's confident and happy about himself as it is. He doesn't need to boost himself, make himself appear to be better at the expense of others, cos he simply IS happy and confident with who he is. And he will convey that in his profile and messages. Not whingy whiney "I'm different/better than other guys!"

motowndowntown's photo
Mon 11/21/16 11:45 AM
Because, in reality we are all just a bunch of hairy, humorless, slovenly, knuckle-dragging, neanderthals, with bad teeth, no manners, and a poor sense of style, who think morning noon and night of having sex with some other guys' woman.

But of course I am not like that.

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 11/21/16 12:46 PM
It doesn't matter how bad a man is as long as he can give a woman the kind of lifestyle that she wants. indifferent