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Topic: Ever considered a disABLED member??
wheelingjames's photo
Sat 02/18/17 02:12 PM
Men and women with disABILITIES hope to be considered in all categories -- Friends, Dates, Spouses. Are they automatic 'rejects,' or have they ever captivated your interest?

mysticalview21's photo
Sat 02/18/17 02:37 PM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Sat 02/18/17 02:40 PM
I know what your asking and think it might be very hard ...
depending on the disability someone has ...




when very young ... I got asked to my very first dance...
the boy I was talking to live in the neighborhood...
never met before don't even remember...
why I was talking to him ...
possibly went to school with him ... but did not know him ...
so I said dance and he said yea would you go with me ...
said sure... would meet him there... school was close to us ...
he said before he hung up ... I need to tell you something ...
I said what ... he said I am handicapped... in what way I asked ...
in a wheel chair can't move my legs... then I am thinking why did he ask to go if he could not dance ... but I said sure ...
I don't care ... and we met and had a good time ... did I even dance have know idea ...
but know at this point I made one kid very happy...
and did not even realize it at the time ...

but being a adult...
would have to wonder what kind of disability...
I do know many need a lot of care ... and realize the wheeling part ...

no photo
Sat 02/18/17 04:27 PM
OK, Let me put this one out there. Let's say this person is disabled because of a brain tumor. The tumor was removed. But it left this person with some lingering problems. The person walks with a cane because the tumor and having it removed affected their balance. But not too badly. Also, because of damage to the muscles at the back of the neck from the operation, this person has headaches. Migraines to be exact. This person drives and does for themselves.

OK, Is this person undateable?

soufiehere's photo
Sat 02/18/17 04:45 PM
I am afraid I do no take it much into consideration.
We all are so flawed, scars on the outside, scars
on the inside.

If one of our parts stops working, we get replacement
parts...maybe they help us walk, talk or see and hear.

I guess I do not grasp the concept of someone being..
less just because they are handicapped.

mysticalview21's photo
Sat 02/18/17 04:46 PM
Edited by mysticalview21 on Sat 02/18/17 04:51 PM

OK, Let me put this one out there. Let's say this person is disabled because of a brain tumor. The tumor was removed. But it left this person with some lingering problems. The person walks with a cane because the tumor and having it removed affected their balance. But not too badly. Also, because of damage to the muscles at the back of the neck from the operation, this person has headaches. Migraines to be exact. This person drives and does for themselves.

OK, Is this person undateable?



This all depends on if you have something in command with them...
same goes for wheels ... he may be very independent too ...
all depends on what someone wants in a relationship ...


going to be the person ...one might be attracted to ...

I agree with you sofie ... but their are some with different kinds of relationships ... that are not strong enough themselves ...to take care of another... can't cope with a disability ... agree know one is perfect inside or out ...

Robxbox73's photo
Sat 02/18/17 08:06 PM
I guess I could see dating someone blind or deaf. Never really crosses your mind to seek them out first. Good point.

no photo
Sat 02/18/17 08:19 PM
Here is the thing I think about. None of us are getting out of this world alive. None of us know what is going to happen to us before the end comes. Anyone at any time could wind up disabled some kind of way. I know that when you get right down to it, it all depends on whether you find the person attractive or not.

But I honestly feel like if we turn someone down solely on the fact that person is disabled, no matter the way or how then that person is being discriminated against. And that's not right. I say all of this but at the same time, I understand. Depending on the disability, One could be taking on a lot by hooking your wagon to someone with a disability. It's a slippery slope.

navygirl's photo
Sat 02/18/17 10:12 PM
It depends on the person and the other person's disability. For instance someone that can't walk; couldn't say enjoy downhill skiing or hiking or cycling with their partner. It may not be fair but then again how fair is it if someone won't date you because you are considered overweight; not attractive, too old, don't make enough money, etc. Its all about preferences.

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 02/19/17 01:50 AM

I guess I could see dating someone blind or deaf. Never really crosses your mind to seek them out first. Good point.

Is it a good point? Should you have to seek them out first?
"I want a woman! I'd like her to be blond, blue eyed, C-cup and I'd love for her to be disabled!"
Really?

SparklingCrystal 💖💎's photo
Sun 02/19/17 02:12 AM
Depending on the disability not an option for me. You cannot share a whole lot of things. If they're in a wheelchair, you even have different points of view in life, literally.
I got physical problems myself (back & neck) so I couldn't give the extra care if they needed it, nor push a wheelchair.

Practical needs may be incompatible. Someone in a wheelchair would need things to be low. I need things to be high because I'm 5 foot 10. My back cannot handle it if a loo, wash basin, kitchen worktop etc. are low.

Their attitude... often times disabled people are rather rude and arrogant, thinking every abled person has to move out of their way, because they are disabled.
Like saying "disABILITIES".. Why feel the need to emphasize?

johnmorrissey501's photo
Thu 02/23/17 06:00 PM
Interesting...
Yeah, someone being blind wouldn't be an issue. Deaf more so, as I never bothered to learn sign language.
Physical disabilities would be an issue, only in a much as I'm not young anymore. I remember assisting my mom when she was alive with her wheel chair. Lotta work and I don't have that kind of muscle any more.
I know this will sound cruel, but I really couldn't be involved with autism, congenital defects, or Down's syndrome.
Mental illness I'm more open to. Myself, I suffer from Depression, Bipolar Disorder, and suicidal obsession. A LOT of others do too. We take our meds, and deal with it. Being with someone in a similar situation might actually be not too bad.

no1phD's photo
Thu 02/23/17 08:00 PM
..Well I once dated a woman that wore corrective shoes..She was a real hoot during Halloween she would always go as Quasimoto..WHAT..IT'S TRUE!!

Tosh37's photo
Thu 02/23/17 11:28 PM
I will just say this. I will not say what specific disability i have, but if you met me you likely wouldn't even realize that i have any disability, unless told otherwise. Depending on the severity and of course, what kind if disability it is, i may not even be a big to to some people. I wouldn't hesitate to go on a date with a disabled person ( mental or physical ) , assuming the disability is nothing severe. My friends and i all have some disabilities, if we didn't say it you likely wouldn't notice for quite awhile. Thats all i have to say on this topic.

Buddyhamilton's photo
Sun 03/19/17 08:48 PM
Yes I would date someone with a disability. Everyone has flaws and those flaws make them to be something special and someone's Soulmate :slight_smile:. Everyone is equal...no one is better than anyone

no photo
Sun 03/19/17 10:40 PM
Yeah, I kind of struggled through school. Had some operations and for me it was a challenge to stay in school and graduate with my class. I had some physical issues I was born with but doing good. Some kids made fun of me but others liked me. I take it a day at a time.

Buddyhamilton's photo
Mon 03/20/17 06:01 AM
your all beautiful :)

no photo
Mon 03/20/17 06:34 AM
I have dated a woman who was legally blind, slowly going completely blind from Retinitis Pigmentosa. She had some limitations, but nothing that was super burdensome.

Things didn't work out, as she couldn't deal or accept that I had to be hospitalized a few times for my mental illness I have.

I can't say I went out looking for "her" or someone with a disability. It just happened, as we met at a mutual friend's party. We got along and a relationship just progressed.

So it goes both ways. Some may be able to accept and enjoy the company. But many people can't, and feel the need to escape.

Twintidbits24's photo
Tue 03/21/17 04:30 AM
I think not, you shouldn't be afraid if you are disabled to make friends or establish relationships...but face rejection with grace....but keep moving on....even us who are healthy and able at present face rejections as well so don't frustrate....the right one will come along one day....

no photo
Thu 03/23/17 01:51 PM
I'm disabled too but I try my best to get along in life , we only have one shot at it and good for you expressing yourself, I feel that disability is still seen as something to be looked upon with negativity, but that's just the way this sad world looks upon people like us , keep smiling :grinning::grinning::grinning::grinning:

no photo
Thu 03/23/17 02:56 PM
I can understand a lot of points people are making on this topic. I can see if a person is really active, long hikes, skiing, rock climbing, skating, for example, are maybe looking for someone who those things as well. I don't think it's mean. I'm not disabled, but have some limitations. i have a car and drive anywhere I want. I meet people that ride horses. I like horses and been on horses many times when younger. I can't do it, when someone is wanting a riding partner, it hurts my legs too much. I decline.

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