So I feel this is a topic that is brought up pretty often, but I'm just looking for some different and unbiased perspectives.

So there's this girl I've been friends with for quite a while, around 5 years I think, and I've always enjoyed her company, and feel like I can be more like myself with her than most ppl.

it's seems to be the same for her, several people we know have told me she opens up and smiles and laughs more when we're together, we talk nearly every day for hours on the phone watching movies and anime, we just seem to get eachother.

All that being said a year ago I decided to tell her I have feelings for her and made it clear that if she doesn't feel quite the same I'm okay with being friends, she said she doesn't really see me that way etc.

I'm okay with that and expected it going in, but to me I have a hard time seeing how you can be around someone so much for so long and not feel *something* for them.

so what I'm looking for here is some perspectives on the situation, am I just being silly or am I justified in my thoughts?

p.s. I'm not looking for ways to escape the "friendzone" just want some input on the situation.

thx in advance.

I fully understand. Both of you feel safe and secure and free in this friendship. I think it's like a platonic love. A Friendship of 5 years doesn't have to lead to love. Now that you know she doesn't feel for more, I would say, keep it as a friendship and it can last for all times.

You should feel proud of yourself because this girl really trust you a lot. She feels safe and secured with your company without feeling awkward or uncomfortable, she can be herself with you. My first boyfriend, we've been friends for 5 years. I didn't have any male friends, he was like my best friend and rescuer. When I go out with my friends and we are all girls, I feel secured when he comes with us thinking no boys will bother us if he is there. He was my brother's best friend and I love him like one too. I wasn't ready to have a boyfriend then when he was courting me, he was okay for us with being friends only. We only dated once during the courtship, most of the time he would visit me at home only and when we go out we are in a group with friends , my brother and sister. Many times he tried to tell me his feelings for me, but what can I do as I really don't feel something for him except as like a brother only. I was grateful that he accepted that and we just remained as friends. Years past and one day I just felt a special feeling for him. I was struck by the poem that he has given me, it made me realize my true feelings and appreciate him. The relationship may not have lasted but I was thankful enough for the good memories we shared together and until now we are still friends, catching up from time to time when we have a chance to see with common friends. In that experience i have learned to appreciate the presence of a special person in my life who valued and loved me, who showed me love, sincerity, patience and perseverance. Sometimes we may not realize the feelings earlier it is because it's not yet the right time. Just enjoy and be grateful of the friendship you have with her for now. I am not giving you a false hope, just be open for all the possibilities, who knows love may grow. Continue to value your friendship, if you want to date other girls, you are free to do so as you don't have a commitment with her yet and so you would also know your real feelings for her. Whatever life brings you, try to value and appreciate what you have right now and just continue to explore life without hurting or stepping on anyone's toes. Be open and honest with her, don't lie... Take care of your friendship, for I believe it is a good foundation of every relationship. A lover may leave us but never a friend, most of the time friendship remains no matter what

Goodluck to you

You both seem happy to be friends, before and after you expressed your feelings for her which sadly were not reciprocated. You are young at 23, so there is plenty of time for you to meet other girls for a more romantic friendship in the future, and it's probably a good idea to start seeking them out.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

a true friendship IS feeling 'something'

I have had four such friendships with women in my life. Let me tell you how each developed over time:
1) eventually she got a boyfriend who didn't like her closeness to me, and so we drifted apart; I left town, etc. 11 years later (yes, 11 years) she phoned me and apologised and admitted she had always wanted to be with me but was afraid that true friendship and romantic love were not compatible, because this seems to be what society and films, books, etc. tell us all the time. By this stage, although I still was happy to hear and I care for her as a person, it was too late for me as I was in a happy relationship. P.S. she had just found out she was terminally ill when she called...
2) known each other since childhood, I even spent a year when I had to leave home living with her family, and she was like a sister. One day she simply said that she couldn't pretend any more and of course she felt a lot for me. Unfortunately, we were both married by then.
3) a colleague who of course just wants to be close friends, but this became friends-with-benefits, after which she feels bad because she can't allow herself to have a relationship with me. I've put a stop to that now.
4) colleague, later after I left the company we remained friends and used to help each other through relationship problems by talking. It could and would never go anywhere. Except... in the end we were the love of each other's life and it is only because of circumstances outside our control that we cannot be together now.
What am I saying? It may be that it really is what she says. But it may also be that there are other things holding her back, such as the idea that friendship may get lost. Whatever you do, don't obviously try to win her... but if you feel the need, don't just have a "I feel this, but I'll accept if you don't" conversation. Talk it all through and ask her to really think about what she does and doesn't feel for you.

thanks for the knowledge folks, it's​ greatly appreciated :]

it is not the length of time that matters but how you meaningfully spent the time with a person that makes or brakes a relationship... staying together does not really mean you are "together ". if you have communicated it very clearly how deep your feelings are but she does not and will not feel the same way, then yes moving on would be best. good luck