Humm I have never dated more then one person at a time, and at my age that is still the same way I feel..

I do not share well with others when it comes to dating and refuse to start..

If they want to date around then they might as well by pass me and move on~~

Is this something you would automatically expect when you start dating someone today in the real world, wherever you first met each other?

Should the the question "are we being exclusive?", be asked before the date, after the first date, after 3 dates, after 10 dates, ever?

I think it should be expected from the beginning but times change, what are your thoughts?

I only date one person and expect the same from whomever I'm dating and if they want to date more than one person than goodbye to you.

I find that this is something that is on the list of "commonly and almost eagerly misunderstood" aspects of human romantic life.

There's some basic things that are true that most people don't even realize are influencing everything. One, is that most people want to be ABLE to assume all sorts of things are true. Because that's comfortable and easy. That's what we end up calling "cultural norms."

That desire to be able to assume stuff, causes secondary problems, because of another common human trait: the desire to be, and to be seen as, a valuable individual. That means that even as most people want everyone to follow the same norms, they also want to be able to do as they please themselves, to a large extent.

Finally, in the area of when to assume a dating pair is exclusive, it gets REALLY complicated.

The crucial point, is that while people want to be able to find the person they really want to be with, and rely on them, that desire means that unless they want to dedicate themselves to what gets called "sequential dating," where they choose exactly ONE person to do things with at a time, and only move on when they've given up on that first person, they will likely end up "dating" more than one person at a time.

And the key word there, is "dating."

If you meet someone for coffee and a chat, is that a "date?" I'd say not, but I've known people who do. That's why we can already see some people mentioning that the critical point to switch to being exclusive, is when sex begins to happen.

Something else that hasn't been mentioned yet, is the problem of fanatics. There are unfortunately in our world, people who are so intense and sensitive and demanding, that as soon as you speak to them in any way that isn't perfunctory, they will insist that you have crossed the line into their being able to control who you see and what you do, in order to even talk to them further.

With all that, my personal answer is that I do NOT agree that exclusivity must start before even the first "date." Real life, and real human interactions don't work that way, ever. I don't KNOW that I am, or could, "fall in love" with you, even before we meet face to face for a social interaction of some kind. That's fanatic thinking, there. Real life works, where I see you, and you see me, and both of us find each other's initial general impressions to be favorable. Maybe we could be friends. Maybe just business acquaintances.

Neither of us will know more, until we conduct some "social experiments." Those "social experiments" is what most people refer to as "dates." Am I going to commit to something approaching the level of a marriage, before even a SINGLE social experiment? Heck no.

I suggest that a different thinking about this is more logical. Forget "exclusivity" as the concept to focus on, and switch to
honorable and honest behavior." And really, we can't even begin to find out what each others' sense of honesty and honor is about, until we've met up and experienced each other in various social interactions.
So basically, I suggest we slow down on the "hard and fast rules" a bit with this.