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| Topic: WELCOME TO MY ZEN OF SARCASM/WISDOM | |
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01. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 02. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire. 03. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 04. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 05. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 06. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 07. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments/child support payments or rent. 08. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 09. If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is probably not for you. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was definitely a wise investment. 12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield. 14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 16. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. |
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 I am guilty of #20
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I am guilty of #20
why am I not surprised???
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Such wisdom
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I loved them Fran... #5 had me lmao #13 today i'm the Bug #14 true especially when you get to know me! |
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#12
live it |
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#12 - live it that would make living too easy
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Fran.... love it.
 Love you!
Can I add in there don't try and hold my hand if yours are clammy? In fact, I'm not a hand holder so just say don't try and hold my hand. With that pic, I can think of way better things to do with my hands.
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living IS easy......that's why we try to kill ourselves....just a little....each day
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Those are GREAT!!!!!
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living IS easy......that's why we try to kill ourselves....just a little....each day I stand corrected, you are right, living 'is' easy.
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Fran.... love it. Love you!
Can I add in there don't try and hold my hand if yours are clammy? In fact, I'm not a hand holder so just say don't try and hold my hand. With that pic, I can think of way better things to do with my hands.
girl you're just like me 
naughty and not ashamed to admit it
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#11....hehehehe.
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Yes, we need to remember #11.
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as a lover of shoes I'd have to chose #8
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a few more
21. Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. 22. It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black. 23. History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. 24. The trouble is they lack of power of conversation but not the power of speech. my new favorite 25. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind. |
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26. Everything has the potential to be funny. Stop hating the smart ass. Smart Asses seize the moment while you are too busy being uptight. |
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 no one wants to contribute 
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guess I'm the only admitted smart a$$ here
and I'm ok with that 
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Iam but you took all the GOOD ones!!!
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