Rick Santorum told an audience in South Carolina Mitt Romney was just a 'paler shade of what we have in the White House now.' And the guy in the back of the room stood up and said, 'I thought that was the whole point." –Bill Maher


"The South Carolina GOP primary campaign is in full swing. Candidates are shaking hands, kissing babies and strategically ignoring Confederate flags." –Stephen Colbert

"Mitt Romney, whose father was born in Mexico, is now talking up his Mexican heritage. Not to be outdone today, Newt Gingrich said he once cheated on one of his wives with a woman named Juanita." –Jay Leno


Rick Perry has dropped out of the presidential race. Apparently, America did not want a conservative, gun happy, intellectually challenged governor of Texas for president. At least not again.
–Jay Leno

There was another Republican debate in Florida tonight. What is left to know about these candidates? Is someone going to confess to a murder?
–Jimmy Kimmel


According to a Washington Post poll, 84 percent of Americans do not approve of the way Congress is doing its job. Sixteen percent weren’t even aware Congress is doing a job.
–Jay Leno


Presidential candidate Rick Santorum is under fire for a remark he made in Iowa about black people. The remark has sparked outrage among Iowa’s black community, otherwise known as Steve.
–Conan


I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.
–Craig Ferguson


Congratulations to Mitt Romney. He won the New Hampshire primary last night. See, this is proof that even the multimillionaire son of a multimillionaire can beat the odds and run for president of the United States.
–Jay Leno

I thought these two were pretty hilarious....not to mention true.

I like Leno

Now that's some funny stuff.