Is Sexting Cheating?

a black man is texting on his phone

Sexting, for those who are somehow unaware of this social phenomenon, is defined as the practice of sending sexy content via phone, text or email. Now, while the definition of sexy may vary from person to person, the general consensus is that sexting other people, while you are in a relationship, is considered being deceitful and cheating on your significant other. But is it really? I personally disagree.

Technically, sexting is not cheating in the eyes of the law. If either party has not committed the crime of adultery, then nobody has cheated in this case. Regardless of legal technicalities, the concept of sexting raises other issues that impact the relationship:

There is the issue of crossing an emotional boundary but how each couple sets their emotional boundaries differs. Some believe that in order to maintain a sexting relationship with another you are opening up yourself emotionally to that person, hence giving less of your emotions to your current partner. Really? Most sexting relationship is based only on sext that is, physical appearances shown in the pictures of videos that are exchanged. Trust me, it’s enough to deal with all the emotional dramas of one relationship, let alone a whole other one involving the hard to read mediums of text and email Hence how can it be defined as cheating if your partner has essentially remained monogamous to you? Do these couples equate emotional infidelity to be as harmful as a physical fling? Personally, I think I can get over a few harmless tit pics much easier than if my husband puts his penis in a hooker.

This then raises the question does it depend on the message that is being ‘sexted’? Is a flirtatious message considered sexting, or does it have to be a full blown dick pic for it to be considered? I am of the belief everyone flirts when they’re in a relationship flirting is fun and harmless, like punching someone in the dark. I hardly think that my husband is going to leave me for sending some harmless flirtatious messages to my favorite bartender, especially not when it means that he gives us free drinks next time we see him. Why are dick pics such a big deal? Seriously, all dicks generally look the same, and trust me, all we are doing with the dick pics we receive is whipping them out during cocktail hour with our girlfriends and having a chuckle. (Hence, never include your face in these pictures.)

Many hold the belief that if one is sexting another, then the intention for infidelity is there. But isn’t it jumping the gun slightly to assume that just because the intention is there, there will certainly be a follow through? Doesn’t the law preach that everyone has the right to be presumed innocent until proven guilty, so unless there is physical proof of your partner engaging in physical sexual acts with their sexting partner, then they are still loyal to you.

I feel that sexting others can be beneficial to relationships – it is not normal to assume that just because you are in a committed, monogamous relationship that you will never be sexually attracted to another person. Perhaps sexting with a third party can provide that extra spice or excitement that is needed to keep your current relationship alive. Maybe when you’re banging your partner, you are secretly visualizing your sexting buddy is that cheating? Hell no! I mean, at the end of the day, you’re still being monogamous and sexually gratifying your significant other, you are just utilizing the skill of imagery to get the job done.
I guess at the end of the day, it really comes down to the couple’s relationship. For me, I have regularly shared my hilarious sexting conversations with my husband. Why? Well, because I don’t feel that I have to hide it from it because I’m not doing anything wrong. Also – we like to laugh at the pictures I receive. However, I consider my marriage more open than other peoples and this is what works for us.

If sexting is something that you consider to be deceitful in your relationship, it is up to you to make this known to your partner before any emotional boundaries are crossed.

Source: Trophy Wife 2.0

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