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Community > Posts By > FreeToParty
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Topic:
Pick one... - part 3
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we dont have popeyes here
so KFC Sweet or salt popcorn |
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Wow I think if you're considering making a partner cease social contact, you need to be considering your relationship and possibly your own self worth. And by that, I don't mean you are worthless, I mean you need to have a good look at how you feel about yourself. If someone is with you and happy, they won't wander - it's perfectly normal to have friendships with people of the opposite sex. I think the lines vary on things like flirting - some people do it without any intention, its just fun. What matters are you and your partners values on this (and indeed most things) being of a similar nature - if your partner likes to flirt but you don't, its not going to work. Wandering off to another room to talk is not a problem, again, its normal. If I'm watching TV etc, I don't want someone talking over it on the phone for instance. If they're secretive, thats different. But that's not to say you should be looking through their phone either - that doesn't constitute trust. Without trust, there is no relationship. If it's a friend, it's a friend, doesn't matter what sex they are. If you understand your partner and their needs, and both of you fulfil each others needs, there won't be any reason for straying. Everyone needs a social life outside their partner. I totally agree with most of what you said.Trust is so important in a relationship and choosing someone who shares your perceptions on what the boundaries should be, is crucial! But as I said to checkinguout, a person who was cheated on in the past may be a lot less trusting of behaviors that tbe average person considers innocent, so some sensitivity may be required there. But I dont totally agree with you that If someone is with you and happy, they won't wander . No couple is happy with each other all the time, and in fact there are times when they may even be enjoying the company of a friend way more than their mate during a slump in the relationship. During those relationship slumps that all couples go through, the temptation to wander emerges for many people. During vulnerable times like that, I personally would be very cautious about my interactions with the opposite sex. I personally wouldnt go on any chatsites or hang with make friends under those circumstances. I remember one of my friends who was going through a tough time in her marriage started hanging out often with a male friend of hers because she felt he was understanding her in a way her husband wasnt. I think one night they ended up kissing. I think too many people play with fire in that regard. Taking foolish chances like that severely puts your relationship at risk in my opinion Peggy you are right about people playing with fire... If couple would just put the effort in what they already have instead of tying to put it towards a stranger they can get back on track.... be nicer to your partner then you are to a stranger... but we as people sometimes think we can take things .out on our partner and they will always forgive us.. I totally agree Checkingyouout Too many times when things get difficult with a partner, people try to distract themselves from the pain by drawing closer to other people of the opposite sex. It makes things much worse!!! There have been times when married men have reached out to me online claiming that they are just looking for friendship, and I always tell them that they are playing with fire and that they are undermining their relationship with their wives , and block them immediately after that. Nothing is wrong with friendships with the opposite sex if you are married, but reaching out to one of them regularly one-on-one when things are rocky with your mate, it 's a gateway to infidelity , and too many people walk into that trap. As you said checking you out, your marriage will stand a much better chance if you focus that energy on being kinder to you partner or getting professional counsel or even taking some time by yourself to re-group.... rather than project that energy into fostering a relationship outside of your union. I know many will disagree on that, but it's just my opinion. I understand what you are trying to say on this, but it isn't always the case - sometimes it can actually help. Talking things through with someone who is the same sex as your partner when things aren't going well, can offer a different viewpoint and help you to see things from the your partners point of view. Especially men on this one - getting a woman's opinion about relationship problems can make a huge difference. Just because you talk to a woman, doesn't mean shes going to sleep with you... |
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IF he loves me he has to know me and with that comes knowing my core values. I think this says it all. If a person knows you well enough to know what the boundaries are, then trust occurs as long as those boundaries are respected. Any relationship will fail if those core values are not either the same, or at least very similar, and respected by both partners. All relationships have ups and downs, and these are the times when straying can occur, but the solution is simple, communication - if you're not happy about something, be honest, tell your partner. If they love you, they will respect it and make adjustments. If they can't or won't do that, then you are not right for each other. |
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Welcome to Mingle Okay... Let's take it step by step.. Good change on what you are looking for.. Now pictures you have one, honestly you need two.. And preferably one that is full body shot. Why I don't know that is just the way it works for best results. I think the body is pretty good at least you're honest with what you want and dont want. The thing I would add is a bit about what type of woman you are looking for. . The FWB thing well good luck with one it might work I have no clue. Being honest about being separated is a good thing and yet I have to be honest a lot of people won't go near it.. Why because of the risk of Drama from soon to be EX Drama of the chance of going back to EX. Best wishes in your search Thank you for this - I will get another pic up as soon as I get chance. Not sure what I'm looking for in a woman, but I'll give it some thought. I'm kinda seeking friends too - I moved to a small community and was in a stifling relationship so never made many local friends. I will re-visit later on - I'll keep the ex thing on there though I think. If people stay away, thats fine - at least theres no confusion or issues later on because of it. |
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Its fine considering what you seek... I'm just not sure IEs work here...being a dating site and all... Anyway welcome and good luck...  Thanks for that - I've changed it - I find it a little annoying that you have to choose between things and not have a range of things you may be looking for tbh. |
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Goldie
Hot Chocolate Guns and roses Peter Green Blondie |
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Topic:
Pick one... - part 3
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House
Left or right? |
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Edited by
FreeToParty
on
Mon 05/16/16 07:16 AM
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Wow
I think if you're considering making a partner cease social contact, you need to be considering your relationship and possibly your own self worth. And by that, I don't mean you are worthless, I mean you need to have a good look at how you feel about yourself. If someone is with you and happy, they won't wander - it's perfectly normal to have friendships with people of the opposite sex. I think the lines vary on things like flirting - some people do it without any intention, its just fun. What matters are you and your partners values on this (and indeed most things) being of a similar nature - if your partner likes to flirt but you don't, its not going to work. Wandering off to another room to talk is not a problem, again, its normal. If I'm watching TV etc, I don't want someone talking over it on the phone for instance. If they're secretive, thats different. But that's not to say you should be looking through their phone either - that doesn't constitute trust. Without trust, there is no relationship. If it's a friend, it's a friend, doesn't matter what sex they are. If you understand your partner and their needs, and both of you fulfil each others needs, there won't be any reason for straying. Everyone needs a social life outside their partner. |
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Just that. If I'm missing anything or too ott then let me know.
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