What's the best light bulb joke you've got? Here's my fav...



How many snowboarders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three. One to screw it in, one to video tape it, and one to say: Duuuude, that was TOTALLY SICK BRO!!!

needagoodlaugh is definitely onto something

the problem is that people take themselves (and others) so seriously!

they need to relaxxxx

You gotta like a Diva every now and then

Who, Michael Hickenbottom?

He's nothing to be scared of.

He sure likes to oversell tho. Silly overseller.

Yeah thats just silly. I can't imagine that I'd think twice about sending money to someone I've never met, and certainly wouldn't be asking for it from someone I've never met. Who does that? I mean really, who does that.

On the other hand, can I "borrow" a hundred bucks?

The Philadelphia Eagles

E-A-G-L-E-S

EAGLES!!!

The Cincinnati Bengals?

I'm not in law enforcement, so the Bengals are ok with me.

I spit in the face
of people
that don't want to be cool!

...Kennedyyyy!

I'm a toddler!

I'd buy a new manager for the Phillies

Love is...

...making the babysitter feel better after the threesome.

http://theendofhumor.blogspot.com/

Izzie your cool, but I wouldn't be a self-respecting Eagles fan unless I took this opportunity to announce that

DALLAS SUCKS!

How long has it been since they won a playoff game? Oh that's right, 1996.

You got it, class of the NFC. I guess I can throw Arizona on this list since that's where my team is gonna be a the end of the season.

But izzie what sexy chin, huh?

I'm from Philadelphia, so I'll throw Pennsylvania on in.

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

It's another beautiful day in Colorado

Hahah! Thanks for recommending that, really funny. It's sad tho how other people hurting themselves is always so funny.

The baby in the carseat!!!
I wonder if he could teach me those moves

1) I'm a gigolo
2) I'm always on the go
3) I'm always surrounded by so many...oh!

John is happily enaged, but his fiancee's sister, Carmen, who is very attractive, has been very flirty and touchy-feely with him, ever since they met. The week of the wedding comes, and John comes home from work one day to find Carmen waiting for him in the kitchen, dressed in skimpy lingerie.

"You know I've wanted you ever since we met" she says, sauntering up to him.

"But when you get married to my sister this weekend, I'll officially be off limits, for good. So lets have some fun before that happens..."

She proceeds to kiss John aggressively, running her hands through his hair, and begins moving them down his body. Just as she begins to unbuckle his belt, John abruptly pushes her away.

"Hold on hold on, I'm sorry," John says, as he scampers back out the front door, visibly flustered.

Once outside, John is suprised to be greeted by a crowd of relatives, who give John a big round of applause upon seeing him. Aunt Mary proudly exclaims "Congratulations Johnny, you passed the test with flying colors!"

The moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.

Wow something about Canada that I don't like. Who knew?

I was actually just talking about the tests where they make you walk in a straight line and stuff like that.

As far as the roadside breath test goes, I know that you can refuse that too in Colorado, but I think that you are required by law in some other states.

Good stuff Duffy. I look forward to the next one. I know a few tips myself, here's a really good one...

You are not required by law to take a roadside sobriety test. Their purpose is to document your supposed impairment so that it will be easier to convict you of a DUI. Don't take them.

That doesn’t mean be rude to the cop, just tell them politey that you understand that you aren't legally obligated, and that you decline to do so.

It's not that hard to fail these tests just from being nervous, so don't give yourself a chance to.