A little boy wakes up in the middle of the night and has to go to the bathroom. On his way there he sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad, not wanting to get in trouble for being up he just goes back to bed.

The next morning at breakfast the boy asks what his mom was doing last night. The parents look at each other and after a few awkward seconds the mother says "your daddy has a big ole belly and it gets full of air. If I don't push it out he will pop." the boy being a little bit confused tells his mom "you must have to do that a lot cuz the neighbor lady blows it back up twice a week."

ahaha what did this post turin into??

595

nope 510 crossroad

NOW its 510

omg you guys cant count lol the count is 504
now 505!!:D

ok forgot a rule!!
no overspamming the thread a female or male can only post again after atleast 2 other people have posted after you.

504

ok this may get a little boring lol..so only play if you get really bored:D

So the number starts at 500
If you are a male you subtract one number.
If you are a female you add one number.
If the numbers get to 0 the males win, and if it gets to 1000 the females win.


I'll start then.


501

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day, a letter came addressed in a shaky handwriting to God with no actual address. He thought he should open it to see what it was about.

The letter read:

Dear God,
I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension.
Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension payment.
Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with, have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me?

Sincerely, Edna

The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all the other workers. Each one dug into his or her wallet and came up with a few dollars..

By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman..

The rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of Edna and the dinner she would be able to share with her friends.

Christmas came and went.

A few days later, another letter came from the same old lady to God.

All the workers gathered around while the letter was opened.
It read:


Dear God,

How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me?
Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends.
We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift.
By the way, there was $4 missing.
I think it might have been those bastards at the post office.

Sincerely,
Edna

ENJOY!!

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag.

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do lawyers use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
20 kgs.

What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
45 minutes.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why do men want to marry virgins?
They can't stand criticism.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all in grade 7.
Who has the biggest boobs?
The blonde, because she's 18.

What's the difference between a porcupine and a police car?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
'Are you sure it's mine?'

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What's the difference between an Australian zoo and an English zoo?
An Australian zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with a recipe.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F... Word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!

What's the difference between a northern USA fairytale and a southern USA fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time...'
A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this shiit...'

Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one's tall enough to go on the good rides

haha you've just been rickrolled!! lolz

http://www.1227.com/
go ahead click the link it wont harm youre computer or anything else
I swear(=

didnt know where else to post these,,but the funniest videos on youtube well to me anyways
go check em out and let me know what you think if you dont laugh at least once even a chuckle...you fail at life:D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kZUPCB9533…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpjyH-LkEA…

#16 hot bod=D

pic #5 love the color of ur hair you are pretty

^^ 2nd pic is best love your eyes
^4th pic

what is the best pic of the person above you and why?

possibly

youd make a cool banana:D yellow

so i went fishing yesterday and finally caught some fish they are asbout 9-10 inch rainbow trout
i love experimenting with food and new recipes so anyone have any favs or home recipes let me know:)

4 but you seem like a fun person to hang out with