Yeahhhh.

Oh yeah?

'tis the point. :D

Do, you lift up a pint, tip it back, and see a dead elk looking you in the eye?

There were two homeless guys who were starving, so they collectively decided to go their seperate ways for the day to beg for money, and then meet up in the evening to combine their money to buy some food, so at the end of the day, they meet up.

Bum #1 says: I only made 15 cents.
Bum #2 says: I only made 10 cents.

So, bum #1 says 'hey, i have an idea, give me your money', and he runs to the hot dog stand and buys a hot dog, throws away the bun, and tells the other bum to follow him. They walk into this bar, and drink up about a $200 tab, finally the bartender tells them they need to pay, and leave, so the one bum stands up, unzips his pants, pulls the hot dog out, and the other bum gets on his knees and starts sucking it, the bartenders yells "that's disgusting, get outta here!", so they go ahead and do it at about 5 more bars before one bum says "I can't do this anymore, my knees are killing me", the other bum says "You think that's bad, I lost the hot dog after the second bar".

the end.

It's all about the Red Sox

Hey

Gassy

Wish granted, but you'll die at the age of three.

I wish I were a man.

Wish granted, but it's closed for repairs and won't open again until 2456.

I wish I was a cat.

wish granted, but your car is made out of cardboard, and has a sail make out of leopard print silk.

I wish I was a blonde.

Thank you everone

Wish granted, but your head will be 5 ft tall, and the rest of you, three inches.

I wish I could visit my family in Ireland.

Oh, and I wish I was a mermaid.

Wish granted, but now you are covered head to toe in feathers.

Sweetie

Wish granted, but you'd be bored, and poor for the rest of your life.

I wish I could be a little shorter.