Community > Posts By > ImWhtUWnt19

 
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Wed 09/02/09 01:58 PM

I've been in your friend's position (except I'm not bi). I had a buddy I grew up with and we were very close. I had no idea he had stronger feelings for me than just friendship. He never told me and I have zero gaydar (not to mention I've never been too swift on the uptake on these sorts of things). Eventually, his feelings drove him to attempt suicide. He changed his mind at the last minute but still ended up in the hospital. I visited him there and that's where he told me how he really felt about me. I was stunned and speechless. Shortly thereafter, his parents took him to another state and I never saw him again.

The point is, you should tell him and be prepared to lose his friendship. If you don't, you will always wonder "what if". And that wondering might drive you to do something stupid. It is a lot easier to get over something if you at least tried. Trust me on this. You sound like an honorable person. That's good, but it is hard. When you do tell him, you should make it clear that you're not trying to break up his current relationship and that your feelings are independant of how he feels about her. And that you are prepared to give him his space and allow his current relationship to unfold and blossom or fail with out your interference(sp?).


And who knows, you might get lucky and get him in the end. However, you must be prepared to never see him again as well. If the worst happens, you will always remember, but you will get over it. You really will. It'll just take time. And it probably won't be the last time you get your heart broken.

Best of luck to you.
I hope everyone is right in the advice everyone is giving me after talking to him juss alil while ago bout it he seemed good but ya never kno wha kinda front someone can put on until he wasnt round me.I am prepared to give him his space but losing him as a friend will hurt realli bad and I dont kno how long it`ll take to let that go and how long before I can even think bout moving on

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Wed 09/02/09 01:34 PM
Well mea nd him juss talked and ii told him the situation face to face.....His reply to me was he kinda ahd a clue that was something like what was going on and that he doesnt think him and his girl gonna be working out much longer they seem to be fighting alot more than ii know of and he thinks shes cheating on him. ii also explained ii havent been purposely avoiding him but didnt wanna rik detroying our friendship and he told me thats impossible were attached at the hip and if we werent why would he consider going outt widd me if all doesnt work between him n his girlalot

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Wed 09/02/09 12:06 PM
Yea ii kno thats why im so hesitant on trying to talk to him about it...But also at the same point ii cant keep avoiding him like the black plague cause all its doing is causing him to think im pissed at him which im not

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Wed 09/02/09 12:01 PM
ii guess it cant hurt to try and talk to him about it...Im juss praying that he`1l understand and it wont DESTROY our friendship...And the last thing ii wanna do is break him and his girlfriend up hes happy with her and ii dont wanna take that away from him

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Wed 09/02/09 11:57 AM
Its not worth the risk but at the same widd me having to avoid him like ii am isnt going well hes callin and textin me nonstop he randomly showed up at my house yesterday while ii wsnt home thankfully questionin why ii am not talking to him and ii juss keep ignoring him and realli dont kno wha to do

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Wed 09/02/09 11:53 AM

He's got a girlfriend, leave it alone. Tell him nuthin! If perhaps sometime in the distant future they split, then after givin him ample time to grieve the split then tell him. U may need to find other friends to spend time with until ur feelins for him cool down. JMO, live ur lifedrinker
thats wha ii have been doing basically ii been avoiding him like we both havea n english class together and we used to sit together and chat but now ii sti across teh room and act like ii dont otice him and everything....and it eating away @ me not knowin wha to do

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Wed 09/02/09 11:51 AM
ughhh ii hate making hard choices like this...
ii mean like ina way ii dont wanna lose a friendship but the more ii dont tell him the more it bothers me and everything but at te same time hes been my bestfriend and has done alot for me and ii dont kno wha ii would do without him round

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Wed 09/02/09 11:49 AM
thanks im hoping also since me and boyfriend juss recently broke up and now im bacc out looking:wink:

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Wed 09/02/09 11:45 AM
thats the ting hes bi but ii dont wanna risk telling him ii have feelings for him when hes got a girlfriend and destroying our friendship but its get harder n harder to deal widd everytime we hangout

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Wed 09/02/09 11:44 AM
21-m from NY in search another guy between the ages of 18-30 Looking to be friends or maybe more....
Interested messsage me

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Wed 09/02/09 11:38 AM
Ok heres my problem tehes this guy ii been friend widd since we were in high school and hes been there for me through everything thick and thin. And just recently I realized ii have feelings for him as more than a friend and wanna pursue but heres teh thing hes got a girl friend and I dont kno what to do im scared that if ii dont tell him ill end up reuiing our friendship

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Sat 03/07/09 04:02 PM


They been dating 2 months but have been having alot of problems....hes hooked upp widd 3 girls while dating her and ii dont wanna be the one to tell her that


arre yoou tyyping onn aa phoone oor sommething? ii thiink uur pushhing ii's toooo muchh

Okay, let me get this straight.

They've been dating for two months, he's been cheating on her, and you don't want to tell her that. You told her that you want her, she says she wants you. She wants to cheat on him with you, but she doesn't want to leave him, she only wants to keep it a secret. You're confused because you want to be with her, she wants to be with you in secret, and you don't know if you should tell your best friend about all of it.

Wow.

Sounds like a Jerry Springer episode. I'm guessing you like to deal with a whole lot of unnecessary drama, but let me put it simply. If you don't mind losing the best friend and most likely the girl (cuz she'll end up cheating on you or realizing that she doesn't like you as much as she liked him), or they'll both agree to passing her around like a plate of nachos. Hmm.... both choices sound pretty lame to me. I say forget about her and hope he dumps her soon so she's out of both your lives.
ii guess you got a good point im not gonna risk losing my betsfriend over this girl....hes helped me widd way too much

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Sat 03/07/09 04:00 PM

if she wants to date you, she has to break up with him first-it's the right thing to do. if she wants to see you behind his back-she isn't behaving like a nice person. you don't want to date someone who isn't nice, do you? who does things behind her boyfriend's back? i think you are probably both better off without her and maybe in her next relationship she'll try honesty.......since you value your best friend and friendship lasts forever-you could also consider having someone else tell him she is doing this and you are resisting her-then he'll know you are a great friend.
ii honestly wiss there was an easy way to tell him myself but ii feel extremely bad and dont quite know how to tell him oh btw Lindsay is cheating on you.and hes realli falling for her hard and ii dont wanna see him get hurt

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Sat 03/07/09 03:40 PM
I like her alot but at the smae time ii dont wanna lose my betsfriend what so ever....And ii have been trying to stay back n she keeps messaging me telling me he doesnt have to know things lyke that

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Sat 03/07/09 03:35 PM
They been dating 2 months but have been having alot of problems....hes hooked upp widd 3 girls while dating her and ii dont wanna be the one to tell her that

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Sat 03/07/09 03:21 PM
We were on that subject and it came out that ii have feelings for her

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Sat 03/07/09 03:18 PM

As positive K says what's your man gotta do with me drinker
Okk but what do ii do my bestfriend is her boyfriend and she wants to go behind his back and hook up with me...

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Sat 03/07/09 03:15 PM
Okk well I been friends widd this girl for 6 years going now and ii have ahda crush on her since high school but shes got a boyfriend...And juss recently ii told her that ii liked her and now shes trying to hookup with me but heres the problem her boyfriend is my bestfriend and ii dont know what to do

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Wed 12/03/08 06:25 PM
ii dont know....
All ii know is im hurt and everything ii dont know if ii wanna cry kick or scream....ii am freaking out and juss wanna know what ii did wrong to ake him act like this and not care how he makes me feel

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Wed 12/03/08 06:19 PM
ii honestly dont get what ii did wrong...we have been able to work outt every fight we ever had and now its like were even going outt anymore ii call him and he avoids me hangs upon me...

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