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cpegus's photo
Wed 07/30/08 06:21 AM
Edited by cpegus on Wed 07/30/08 06:22 AM
Arightee I am putting this out there with the hope that the right person will read this and a whirlwind of a romance will ensue- I have had terrible luck in finding a single adventurous fun loving woman who loves the outdoors and is seeking a long term relationship.. Most of the women in ATl that I've met are either with kids, don't want kids or are couch potatoes. I even tried meeting people who live out of ATL and that didn't work to well-- I've tried the Wal Marts. The Publix, nothing Nada-- and what's worst is that at my age the nesting Bug is biting me and I am beginning to crave having a child and raising a family..

What's up with the good, single adventurous women??? Do anyone know of the secret club that I can join to find someone that can carry an intelligent conversation, not into the materialistic crap, won't have a panic attack about her nails and hair if I suggested a weekend kayaking/camping trip on one of the Islands of the coast of Ga...
Is anyone else in this situation or is it just me.. Stuck in Stinking Singles Land!!!

cpegus's photo
Wed 04/16/08 06:21 PM
Does anyone who live in this city know a good place to meet a SWF who's enjoys the outdoors and love to be on the water?? I've had no luck in meeting a decent woman-- The bars and clubs simply isn't working---Only women who play games-- Need some advice on good places to go!!!

cpegus's photo
Thu 02/07/08 11:43 AM
Edited by cpegus on Thu 02/07/08 11:52 AM
The Immortality of Ephemeral Love

"In the fleeting moments of the twilight the final glance of innocence occurs as their eyes gaze upon each other for the last time in this life cycle. Hands firmly grasping the nothingness that lies between their sweaty palms, fingers interlocked- knuckles clenched as if her life depended on that last grip, the warmth of body heat pulses from one soul to the other as they kiss their closing goodbyes" Nostalgic scenes of fun, laughter, tears, adventures, pillow fights on stormy mornings pulsate though the back of her eyes in one fleeting flash before the stark coldness sets in…Perhaps providing the only consolation during this bleak moment in time. The inevitability of death had struck her such a horrible blow on that silent night, stealing away her vibrant colors removing every last ounce of lust and enthusiasm she possessed for existence in this realm. Her pink, rosy cheeks once symbolizing the pinnacle of life now took on the appearance of a morbid grimace-----faded hopes prayed for the miracle that will only come too late.---- teardrops graced his eyes and as if in slow motion leaked away from his confused gaze, cascading on her now lifeless face—rolling off, un-moved in the same solemn, stoic fashion as the wet wax pours from old candles--- a mere reflection of contrast from life to death, her once hearty smile now sits still as a hapless frown ………………….…

I could go on to paint a picture but surely the nightmare can be easily revealed in the first few lines--- My Biggest fear of love—the loss of it – this takes me back to a random evening walk in a quaint little town in upstate New York.. I stumbled upon an abandoned cemetery –one in which the cold head stones didn't tell a story—no pictures were painted, in fact the head stones were all cracked for it was an abandoned cemetery—this indeed is a true story—I felt a shiver up my spine but decided to explore as much as the fading evening light will allow—Most of the head stones had these crude letters inscribed "H.L.T.R" it took me a while to figure out that they meant "Here Lies The Remains of" I said to myself amazing – I just happen to stumble on an abandoned cemetery in the middle of a no-name town at dusk—the cemetery was over a hundred years old and I sincerely doubt that anyone could tell me a story of the people who lied beneath the ground that I casually strolled upon.. It got me thinking—who knows of the secret fantastic love stories that each grave kept within its confines… It was obvious that the tombstones that laid close to each other were perhaps that of lovers or family—Husband and wife—maybe even soul mates—assuming something like that exists—How tragic is it that you search half your life trying to find this counterpart---- almost trying to find a needle in a Haystack – and Gosh I can testify that it is difficult for this counterpart is someone that I am and have been avidly seeking for quite sometime now—you place all these beacons out and for the most part they bleep and bleep until finally their bulbs give out or fade just like the hopes of the once young energetic child being bogged down by the challenges of growing up and adulthood..

I guess since life is not without it's irony you end up spending a good section of your life in the quest for that one—the one that not only tolerates you for who/how/where/ you are but finds a certain charm with your unique idiosyncrasies and cherishes the good, bad and mediocre aspects about you—you finally find her and then all of the sudden the clocks become your worst enemy-- for time with her becomes ever so limiting---- so fleeting ---so ephemeral!!! The quest for true love is not for the ordinary – it was mainly meant for the determined—after all it's so easy to settle—so easy to take the well traveled road—who looks for the un-beaten path anymore—why walk when you can drive—we are a generation of convenience and are certainly proponents of the ATM culture—you get everything in 10 seconds or less- fast cash, fast food and fast relationships.. Naturally the people who search and look for their true partner in crime will be met with discord as this is seemingly unfashionable.. "Settle down and shut up!!!" -- "You're too choosy" ---- I say!! Ha! surely you Jest!!!----you know what is the problem with visiting Niagara Falls nowadays??? Most people have seen the famous picture of what it looks like on a sunny day with the rainbow cascading at the perfect angle so that all the colors can be seen,, every last one. The mist from the water goes up a mile and this is embedded into our sub-conscious expectations ~thus, if we visit the magnificent wonder on a rainy day or the water levels are not at its peak all of the sudden we walk away with a sense of disappointment.. We have just seen a marvel of the world and leave with a face of disappointment… It happens—and so to in relationships—there seems to be all these expectations, and only the fortunate few will ever meet someone that there's an equality in compatibility –

I really wonder how many people actually know what absolute love is—personally I think that only a parent/ especially a woman holding her child for the first time will ever know what un-conditional love is.. and of course the unison of soul mates…The quest for your true love should be thus worth every effort in finding such-- and who knows?? maybe I might put out my last beacon and succumb to "expected reality" for when in Rome simply do like the Romans-- or maybe I can play the Devil's advocate and use the philosophical contention that "whatever happens was supposed to happen" -- That is always the ultimate stumbling block that immediately discontinues and halts any possible internal arguments-- How can one of sane and sound mind possibly argue such ??? They can't -- I can only hope that the person I end up with will be my partner in crime-- but it's worth the effort to seek such for you really only have one shot at the cracker barrel-- life will be what you make it and hence what you perceive it to be -- so if your perception of life is ideal then in your world as seen through your eyes, your mindset, your personal construct, will be ideal as it is tailored for you and only you-- and that's all that should really matter--- for no one sees the world through your eyes besides you... and that is and has to be absolutely true for a love romance and every little aspect about such-- nothing should stop your personal carnival, your enjoyment of life for that is a construct that is devised by you and only you.. your smile, frown and tears are all based on your perspective and perception of the illusion in which you reside in...

This brings me back to the title of this story "The Immortality of Ephemeral Love" Let's say that the tomb stones in the abandon cemetery could tell a story—and suppose there laid in that forgotten place, underneath the cold grey stone and unformidable 6 ft of compacted 200 yr old dirt -------- the most amazing love story ever told.. two lovers who found each other and created a story – a story so passionate that it outshone that of Paolo and Francesca da Rimini ( the two lovers that graced Dante's on his Journey to the Inferno) – what if such a story could be told—the fact is that the essence and intimates of that story will only live for as long as the authors exist—and in the greater scheme of things we are all ephemeral – thus, our love for each other will inevitable have a final full stop and a final resting place—the love stops when the movie ends—for we have no idea if the two remarkable people can still love each other beyond the grave—we can only hope and feel and wish - but as my dear Dad would quote "If wishes were horses~ Then beggars shall ride"

However, there's hope!!! for you can have an immortal love in an ephemeral world—you just make every moment count and you create a story that will be meaningful to you and your mate-- the private jokes, the volumes of sentances conveyed with the exchange of a glance, flicker of a smile and the twinkle of an eye-- why can't people simply enjoy these things and cheerish them while they last -- instead of living a lifelong of regret when they're gone – —if you shall ever be so lucky to recognize what true love is and experience it with someone who loves you back then you'll be a fool not to enjoy it out to it's fullest.. for many people walk like empty souls on a never ending quest to find what you might take for granted on a daily basis--

Some people have complained that my short stories are too long so I'll end with the words extracted from a famous philosophical poem entitled "True Growth" by Ben Johnson

"A Lilly of the day is fairer far in May,

Although it falls and dies that night it was the plant and flower of light

In small measures we just beauty see but in short life may perfect be"

cpegus's photo
Mon 02/04/08 09:25 AM
Edited by cpegus on Mon 02/04/08 09:37 AM
Emotionally weary, I look at the onset of my abstract horizon, speckled with questions of "What ifs" , riddled with insecurities and casually wonder if the sunlight and the hopes of if a brighter tomorrow will ever pierce through this seemingly permanent stormy twilight of singlehood. I nonchalantly stare at the bands of dark clouds of anxiety as they encroach towards me with a confident yet deafening silence— Ironically there's no reassurance of the familiar thundering that will herald the onset of this eminent change—Paradoxically it's a change from nothing – the ship I sailed for most of my voyage have been sailed solo. The dark clouds of emptiness have always been there on the Horizon--- my logic have just merely suppressed my emotions into a state of dis-acknowledgment of their existence ….
As I stand isolated, confined to my tattered shoes, my mind nervously twiddles and fidgets with glimpses of past fond memories like a neonate priest grasps for the rosary during his darkest hour.

I am fortified not with materialistic treasures of money or wealth, for the surplus of "stuff" and the abundance of opulence can change on a whim.. We all walk such a thin line of uncertainty like the broken-ankle rope walker performing at a shabby circus---never really knowing what may happen on the next step –I am merely equipped with my with Wit and my Sense of humor and all the altruistic qualities that was instilled in me from Scouts, my Dad and all the people that were once upon a time very close to me.. I stare into the abyss of the unknown searching for my counterpart – a kind soul that I feel will help convey memories of the once bright days which will expedite the passage of the gloomy ones—Alas I won't be confined to these tattered shoes, for it really won't matter where I stand…the only thing that matters will be how close I can stand next to her.

I view myself as some type of sales person— I often wonder how do I advertise my inner abstract qualities? How do people do this seemingly impossible task? I often hear the horror stories of women who fell for the wrong guy..They usually say something like "Boy he had me fooled!!" What's the deal with "these guys?" Do they play the game "pretend" /make believe--- hold up a facade for 6 months to a year and "hook" their unsuspecting victim like the crafty fisherman, only to reveal the consequences of devouring such delectable, seemingly free bait after the wedding ceremony?? Do these crafty fishermen wait for the six month period when the wool have been pulled over her eyes to let their gut hang out, display facets of their personality that they hid so well before, and cradle their new found victim with presents of neglect and abuse, spotted with outbursts of profanity?? What's the trick—is there a trick??
I can't help but draw a similarity of the task that the hapless romantic may undertake in the sometimes fruitless attempt to find compatibility wrapped in an appealing vessel to that of the Fiddler Crab.

Have you ever seen them?.—The courtship of the Fiddler Crab--. If you sit still on a marshy beach on a breezy summer evening you'll see them coming out in droves--- the males proudly march out and they stand in front of their humble hut holes, they wave their big white claws and advertise—
'Look at me" Look over here" I'm an awesome individual!!! I'm really a good person!!! Come and check me out!!!—If you sit and watch long enough you may even be encouraged to attach personalities onto these little fellas.. Some of these Fiddler crabs seem to have no problems in attracting females --- likewise, as we all know, they're guys out there that won't really have to move a muscle to attract females- they merely put up pictures of themselves being intoxicated and perhaps show a few pictures of some burrowed metallic looking transport device with four tires and all of the sudden they are swamped with females—

As I watch the patterns of these Fiddlers I notice that in some cases as the female Fiddler enters the pad they suddenly shoot out in a hurry… maybe they were fortunate to recognize the false advertising at the embryonic stages and abandon the interaction… I also notice that some males don't attract any females and perhaps for good reason—they have nothing to offer for they wander aimlessly through the Marsh—waving their claws frantically making quite a display—perhaps this is to somehow compensate for the fact that they have nothing to offer after the show… But how many women get so captivated by the show and the display that they fail to realize that after the show ----that's it— the falsely advertised abstract qualities are really non-existent- they've been over ridden by the selfish, self-centered traits of the advertiser.
I wonder in this whole population of Fiddlers if there are any individuals with all the qualities which will make them a great mate but somehow end up mate-less.. Is this a joke of the Gods?? So many thoughts come to mind about the irony of the qualified, yet mateless Fiddler.. on countless occasions I run into seemingly amazing women that have been jaded, they drag around their emotional baggage like the proverbial albatross in the rhyme of the ancient mariner —tainted from their past experiences they carry rifles of suspicion and build impenetrable walls reinforced with memories of disappointment and failed expectations. They somehow think that their skepticism will somehow provide some kind of escapism from a re-occurrence of their past. Their self imposed prison inevitably blocks out the hope of change and doom them to a vicious cycle of an unfortunate self fulfilling prophecy. I see these people almost like a religious zealot will see an empty soul—they just exist in a grey realm deprived of their once brilliant spark, lust for life faded they live in a hand to mouth mode.. Is this the price we are forced to pay for failed love?

In a twinkle of an eye we enter the late summer of our existence late 20's to 30's the ever falling sands of time cascade down the tiny hourglass opening, as the days turn to decades there seems to be an awareness of anxiety.. What I referred to as the silent thunderless storm of uncertainty.. Sometimes I simply isolate myself in my music room and play the Ostrich---- bury my head in music and play the nonchalant game—suppress my passion and lust for life just like the weary soul–— and why not—it's easy—I don't have to put myself out there – I don't have to make an effort—I merely create happiness being by myself—isn't that an escape system— if my reality is based on my perspective and I create a perspective where I am happy or at least display the symptoms of being content and happy then I have gotten over the system …Right? How many of you simply fill your day with activities so you don't have to worry about finding your other half ? ?? or worst yet don't even think about it-- all because you're just soo busy!!

Reluctantly I am urged to start "Doing the Fiddler" waving my qualities like the gypsy peddler—I use the powers of body language and spell out the phrase "Take my word for it – you're getting a deal!!" Don't we all go through this? Advertise? Whether we like it or not we have to – whether it be the acquisition of wealth and resources or personality or whatever methodology an individual may use to advertise their abstracts – everybody seems to have some "great deal" or the other—It just seems interesting ---we play the juggling game – we balance the fact that time is constantly slipping away—it never was nor will it ever be on our side—it is taken away from us in exchange for experiences – as time passes these experiences are turned to memories and at the end of the game just before we take our last breath, when we reflect on these memories we have no choice than to end with a smile—for that's all we'll ever have-.. So you see if memories are all we have then there's such a danger of going through the majority of your life having all these remarkable experiences by yourself—the danger is that without a counterpart you may forget—You loose some of the only thing you have—the only thing that you shall take with you throughout your life!! How sad that will be when you remember that you forgot about an experience that once upon a time was so meaningful to you.. Almost like remembering that you forgot your favorite childhood song.. There seems to be just soo much more weight on finding the right one—waving your "fiddle" the right way ;-) waving it in a fashion that you'll attract that person that compliments you both physically and emotionally, help you remember your favorite songs as you've made your own enchanted music over the years of your journey—

I say it's worth it—it's worth every last effort and heartache and all the failed attempts and possible exuberance that you'll expend on the wrong people just to find that one—that one that it wouldn't matter what clouds rolled in—it wouldn't matter how turbulent the seas became for you know when you're with that person nothing really matters—rain, shine, snow or sleet—all you'll ever need is to be at her side and see her smile—so until then I'll be advertising my altruism, passions, lust for life like the nomadic gypsy and waving my abstract qualities just like the Fiddler Crabs "Over here—check me out—I've got a great deal!!

cpegus's photo
Sun 02/03/08 07:05 AM
I know people I'll start a new religion:::

One where you are not Allowed to Blame God for the Crap that happens in your own life!!!!

The end result of everything in your life stems from the choices you made--

A woman will leave you for several reasons-

Did you brush your teeth and used mouth wash before going over to her place?
Were you respectful of/towards her or just talked a bunch of dirty talk when you saw her?
Were you a lil couch potato and decided not to do anything with her?
Were you cheap and didn't want to take out and show her a good time?
Were you a bad kisser?
These are some of the MANY reasons why a woman will leave you-- SO tell me where does GOD come into any of the statements that I just made?
Maybe before you get a new girlfriend/mate you should stop at a local Barnes and Nobel and buy/read up on the rules of dating-- make sure you have your finances right so that you can afford to take her out to some nice dinners----
read up on the places/attractions that your local city has to offer so that you know where you can take her that'll be fun.
Brush up on your Hygiene
Exercise and get into shape --loose the gut.
If you don't have one get a commanding knowledge of the English language so you can captivate her with your eloquence and express yourself when it comes time to telling her how special she is.
Buy a joke book and brush up on your Humor
Keep up to date with current events so you can have meaningful conversations with her.
And For God sake!!! If you're too lazy or choose not do any of these things to improve yourself and make yourself a better catch...PLEASE DON'T BLAME GOD FOR THE POOR CHOICES YOU MADE

UNgreateful people are the ones that tend to Blame God for their short comings


cpegus's photo
Sat 02/02/08 01:45 PM
Edited by cpegus on Sat 02/02/08 02:04 PM
.

Vander Dussin aka Candice-- you're awesome!!!! you got exactly what I was trying to say-- You're way smart for someone your age-- Just absolutely brilliant!!!

cpegus's photo
Sat 02/02/08 01:25 PM
That's just ridiculous!!!.. God doesn't micromanage humanity!! "God" didn't "let" anything happen-- You met that woman for a reason and the reason was to simply have some type of experience with her or be enlightened by her in some form or fashion--even if it was merely to pose your question and spur a response out of me-- but inevitably you did gain something from being with her the limited time that you had but simply to naive to realize such... But when all is said and done ---you are the one inevitably responsible for the interaction-- not necessarily physical you perhaps spiritual you-- and spiritual you merely wanted to have a limited interaction with her which it did and when the time was up it ended---Period!!! - Get a grip.. you obviously missed the important lesson and hence are expectedly disappointed.

cpegus's photo
Sat 02/02/08 06:53 AM
Consider this—Cycles seems to be a very prevalent and continuous characteristic in society and the universe as a whole—Perhaps we can look at it in terms of the people we let slip away—She's the one that got away—have you ever asked yourself that question—sit down and reflect—of all people that I had a chance to be with--- Why didn't I snag that one???—Careful!!! for as the opportunity arises if you let it slip away and allow that person to fade—you may have a life long unanswered question.
When it comes to people and connections perhaps things and events operate in cycles-- but these of course may not be simple cycles—given all the random variables that can occur in the determination of the outcome of an event—I can easily argue that if these cycles do exist then they must be very intricate and complex in nature-- Sure enough in general most things revolve and usually follow some general pattern -- the day turns to night and the weeks turn to months.

When it comes to people, romance and connections it is possible that we can look at this construct in a very similar way to that of the planets where we as individuals have our own cycle—a cycle which at some point in time may place one object in close proximity to the other object-- random circumstances occur that makes this close spatial distribution of objects conducive for an interaction to take place—In this construct I consider "us" to be the objects--- In which case maybe we can give the general description of the cycles that we revolve around as "fate"

Now as much as this randomness of fate assist in placing the two people in close spatial proximity to each other, the onus is really on the person to solidify the connection!!-- It is up to the positive attributes of the two particular individuals at the given time to take advantage of the opportunity that their "cycle" has rendered—Even though all the forces of nature have acted and these people are placed in close proximity to each other ----sometimes the positive attributes are not present which will allow the two individuals to separate instead of uniting —One can consider the unison of two individuals in a new path as a divergence form their original solo path---
How exciting it is to meet someone and fall into the cloud 9 syndrome-- want to spin around every lamp post like in a Frank Sinatra movie-- How exciting and fulfilling it must be to just experience the novelty of romance!! ----Abandon the hackneyed, dry, insipid, boring solo path you once walked and wake up with someone you connected with and fill the day with the simple things that end up bringing a more deeper meaning and purpose for your own existence!!! You become cognizant that your mere presence around this individual makes them happy!! What an amazing experience!!!

Unfortunately, even if it is the case where one positive attribute is present and the other is absent-- the connection may not happen even if the spin cycle creates a likely probability of such taking place-- It seems to me that even if there's a positive aptitude of one person to invigilate and encourage a romantic connection, if there's a negative attribute or lack of enthusiasm or aptitude of the other person to interact – then the connection is not made— There shall be NO Frank Sinatra Swinging around the posts today!!!!
Doesn't matter how many flowers he sends you or how many times he calls, don't matter how great of a guy he may be for you-- if you decide to "act the fool" then the connection may not be established-- even if he was the best match you'll ever have!!!

In this case—the negative overrides the positive!!. Since it takes two ** to make a thing go right!!!!**

If the connection fails the people/individuals are stuck to their original solo paths -----they have eliminated a potential possibility to have novel new experiences, endure bouts of happiness and enlightenment, spawned from a simple lack of enthusiasm at some critical point in an embryonic stage of a seemingly fragile initial interaction!!

Thus, the only way the individual can dissociate from their "singles" path is if there's a unison of the two people--- and in order for that to happen their must have two positive attributes from each person--

In the larger scheme of things the spin cycles are in some continuous motion thus there are only "windows" of opportunity-- i.e.- there's a time limit in which a favorable interaction/romance between the two individuals can take place --remember that the proverbial sands of time constantly fall from the hour glass and life shall/situations and opportunites shall never be static!!--
Thus, this window of opportunity constantly closes as the cycle progresses and after the window has closed if the connection is not made (fragile as it is) then the people start to drift apart--
Certainly any adult who has had their heart broken or had a lost love can relate to this. Especially when you sit in your darkened chamber of self reflection and you examine your emotional naked self with the critical eye of introspection..

After all is said and done all that's left is a faded memory and the thoughts of what if??-- what if the two people had positive attributes and the connection was made—where would I be now??
This is a question that has been asked by people over and over through the course of time—it is something that they usually keep to themselves and this question usually rears it's unanswerable head at the worst possible time.

Usually when they realize that the 24th hour is upon them and they sit in the same romantic and emotional seat that they started out in decades ago.. Single and alone!
Or perhaps this thought may haunt them at the time of some dissociation or troubled period with their current partner or when they're by themselves and they realize that they are missing out on life by not having a counterpart—a person that they can connect with and share their life with-- well that question "what if" may never be answered-- hence we have invented the ever so sad phrase—she/he was the one that slipped away!!!-

Of course on the brighter side of things, if we devoid ourselves of the lil intricacies of this cycle and we concentrate on the bigger scheme of things we may not be as saddened by the loss of connections that we accumulated during the course of our individual evolution—hopefully these missed opportunities gave us food for thought and it allowed us to realize, recognize and become more appreciative of people which may cycle our way in the future-- if we just hold regrets of the missed people that we had -- we may continue to miss the new people with brighter smiles in the future-- when all is said and done and the spin cycle is over-- just before we shed our last tear or close our eyes for the very last time --we can only hope that the people that came close to us in the past and we opted to ignore and denounce """the overwhelmingly obvious and apparent connection"""-- we can only hope that at least we gained something from them-- be it a more matured and objective outlook on ourselves or some shared platonic experience that will help us to realize that our individual cycle was unique and special to us-- and it was worth the constant seemingly meaningless confusing that is part and parcel of being in a spin cycle

cpegus's photo
Thu 01/31/08 12:09 PM
Edited by cpegus on Thu 01/31/08 12:28 PM
Is this just a Southern thing or is it predominant in the Northern areas as well??
I am curious of the social trends and climates with regards to race relations. Specifically comparing acceptance of other races in a romantic setting between northerns with the "Conservative" South..
I've heard the phrase it's O.K to work with them just don't date them.. I would like to find out if this is a nationwide thing or is it just a Southern thing...

here's the deal that started this....

It is possible that more of my emotions are at play than my logic--so before or if I send this letter I would like to get some feed back

Let me paint the picture

You just got to Love the South—For those of my readers who don’t live in Atlanta – let me tell you the city is latently segregated—we have the CONCENTRATIONS of Asians and Hispanics in Buford, the whites in Alpharetta and the blacks in the West End Area and College Park (home of Soldier Boy) even the Gays in Midtown and Lesbians in upper Decatur-- these are the demographics ---- even the clubs are segregated there’s Black nights and white nights — this was so prominent that a morning radio show Q100 (white station) tried teaming up with V103 a black station to try and have a color mixer party—didn’t happen very few whites showed up.. Naturally with the online dating you are going to eventually meet someone who likes your personality, values and even the little idiosyncrasies about you but then abruptly applies the breaks when they find out that you’re the wrong color—

Has that ever happened to anybody?

After much thought I wrote this letter and was wondering if it was an over kill—

Naturally I am curious of John Public opinion.. Granted I do realize that people have their personal preferences and so do I – but I think it’s a bit different when you don’t even want to be platonic friends with the person that you have common values with because of color—is that too ideal of a way to look at things???

To paint the picture—she brought up the fact that she didn’t want kids and I did as the main reason why we couldn’t be friends..
Well here’s my letter

“”””””” No hard feelings-- I pretty much immediately picked up the disappointment in your underlining tone after you got my picture—your disapproval and distaste was actually rather obvious. There was a distinct abrupt decline from the tenacious enthusiasm that you initially displayed in your response (before you saw my pic) to the frazzled skeleton of the two liners that you will casually supply me with After you saw my pic. I simply just figured out that you were being polite by continuing to correspond with me and perhaps decided to merely humor me, perhaps hoping that I would eventually get your subtle hints--- Perhaps you just wanted to be a bit courteous about your “exit” –I certainly appreciate your politeness and do thank you for such—

I am actually accustomed to this, for we do live in the segregated South and one cannot denounce the latent effects of societal norms which may be sub-consciously imposed on the individual inculcated within this conservative society— (Not that I am saying that this is the case with you) But allot of women who are close to their families won’t date guys that they don’t think their families would approve of—and of course we also have the latent effects of non-acceptance of differences in race and ethnicities all blended in there somewhere—Plus as I said before I really don’t think your final decision of “incompatibility” was derived from the “Kid issue” as much as you claimed---I think that that may have been a sub-conscious constraint of yours which you suddenly deemed to be significant and brought to the forefront as to bolster your justification with regards to the denouncement of me being a potential suitor. Once again you were merely being “Politically Correct”—and once again I am appreciative of your cordiality.
Things certainly happen for a reason and seeing this interaction is still in the embryonic stages and no significant emotional investment has been applied, it becomes an easy task to regress and abandon further progression of this interaction.
In retrospect, even if we did forge some regular dialogue—your underlying "issue" that you choose to be enigmatic about would eventually bore itself.. I predict that your sub-conscious brain-washed mentality to consider a particular physical trait (or lack of) as being undesirable would of accentuated with time leading to the point where you would of inevitably placed the permanent critical eye of magnification upon me.. –In essence, cultivating a climate of a negative self-fulfilling prophecy. One that I simply would not be able to escape, as perhaps nothing that I did would ever be good enough for you. Within a very laconic period you would become an expert at picking out and highlighting my faults and short comings—this will definitely lead to a very unhealthy interaction…. It wouldn’t matter what I did or said, as your tolerance for me would probably be extremely limited—creating the un-equal and imbalanced interaction where one hand will inevitably end up doing all the clapping and hence a one-sided romance will ensue..
I totally understand your view point and why you displayed the cold shoulder after you realized that I did not posses your desired trait….. I simply just can’t blame ya .. It was certainly fun chatting with you my dear and I wish you all the best in finding you perfect mate..


Was this an over kill???

cpegus's photo
Tue 01/29/08 03:20 PM
Edited by cpegus on Tue 01/29/08 04:00 PM
So I am just in this passionate yet pensive mood and got my creative powers to describing how Great sex should be.. Obviously the setting is an ideal one.. My Biggest qualm about sex is that people (especially men) make it into such a business deal—They act like amateur runners that just bolt out on a marathon run, putting forth a burst of short lived exuberance and energy which usually fizzles out like cheap fire workers lit on New Years Day. These men ruin it for the rest of us because unless the woman is in the fast car mode she'll probably be unfulfilled—by the time that she gets into the swing of things, this said tenacious marathon runner is already passed out—rudely snoring --Silence !!! as she lies still, eyes wide open thinking "What the Hell just Happened?'
First time sex should be properly compensated because unless you're some Porn star it is going to suck—it's expected!!! and most women are aware of this—and of course there's no amount of apologizing that you can possibly do –for she will tell her friends not if you suck- but how bad you sucked .. So a certain amount of planning should go into this first time session.
As we know women are turned on by combining different types of stimulation of their senses in unison.. This will thus have to encompass the basics –sense of smell, taste, touch. The right background music/noise also has to be set in place.. ---hence--- unless this is some drunken charade ordeal of unconscious sex then there must be some ground work "laid" (no pun intended) before the act. At some point a dialogue must be had of the favorite, fragrance, favorite music that kind of stuff—are the lights dimmed? is the room completely dark? do you install spot lights and a handy cam? And I'm sure that this information can be obtained with the use of a very casual unpretentious dialogue.

So the stage is set and the research compiled…

Once again-- good sex is like a recipe you need to have certain ingredients in place—it cannot be solely based on lust—for then it will surely suck—it has to be based on frolicking, cajoling and innocent play.. casual flirting which begins long before this epic event—

With that said, getting down to the parts of the recipe, the ingredients will be as follows-- with the use of a six pack of Guinness and some steamed/raw oysters for the stamina, some peanuts which will act as "bullets for the gun".. and the firing of such——certainly your performance will be enhanced if you get the stamina up Of course, you have to remember that most men will suffer from over eagerness-- and you can compensate for this excitement- by you know--- doing what women do ---aw soo good***—Spit or Swallow your choice :-)

So you've done your part and now the plot is set—all you have to do now is lay back and relax – enjoy the ride for its Disney time!!! Of course, if he's sensual and he is even remotely cares about pleasuring you -- he will give you a full body rub down intensifying the foreplay, gently leading you to a mode where you become yearning and excited for "what's next" at this point your brain neurons are firing off, throat constantly becoming parched as you reach the point of a finely tuned race car – This acts as a double edged sword for he's building himself back up during the foreplay—giving the oysters and peanuts time to kick in—
At that point you're ready to go and he's ready to go—for him this will be the second round which is of course less stressful as (Houston doesn't have to worry about the rockets firing off too early) it's his turn to reciprocate the favor that you afforded him earlier as you seductively got down on your knees, maintaining eye contact for 90% of the time-**- he's thinking OMG this is the best ever!!-- and if he's into you he's on his knees now while you are enjoying the slow whirling motion of the ceiling fan as you look up aimlessly, laid back, head propped up on the pillow, eyes closing every now and then as you ride the waves of pure and utter excitement.. the event has been properly planned as you're finally dealing with someone who may have just slightly a little less bite than bark-and isn't all talk- your favorite fragrance fills the air from the heated scented oil which was carefully chosen the day before and your favorite music cracks the lustful silence --some rhythmic song that yells passion and beats and motion and intensity chimes in tune with the rhythm of the bedsprings and occasional moans-- the crescendo rapidly begins to encompass the room like dark thunderous clouds spilling over a quiet blue horizon.. your head is momentarily propped up as you both gaze into each other's eyes, sights of pure lust and obsession speak volumes without words being uttered.. the beats of the background music becomes more formidable as you're cradled into your favorite position.. the intense energy fills the room and it's silence deafens the musical melody of the springs and the creaks and the wood sliding, ornaments rattling-- and then your mind goes blanc almost like an old fashioned video game when the high score has been breached.. back arched like a perfect Ballerina the tips of your shoulders and the ends of your heels are the only body parts that make contact with the surface that you lay upon…With a huge Sigh you collapse in the bed perforated with sweat which represented the last 30 mins of intense bodily activity-- your spine goes through spasms as an out patient about to stand for the first time as he leaves the chair.. The cuddling position is achieved and the covers pulled—the two bodies motionless becomes one- in-differentiable from each other..

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Thu 01/24/08 08:17 PM
Edited by cpegus on Thu 01/24/08 08:35 PM
Stay tuned for edited version

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Fri 01/11/08 05:58 PM
You are who you are??? Jeeez Answer the damn question!!! Yess By GOD Yes-- Yes Yess you are a hottie!!!!smokin smokin

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Fri 01/11/08 07:02 AM
sexxy sexxy sexxy smokin smokin

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Fri 01/11/08 06:39 AM
sexxy sexxy sexxxysmooched

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Fri 01/11/08 06:34 AM
flowerforyou flowerforyou date you in an Atlanta Minute:wink:

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Fri 01/11/08 06:29 AM
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: sexxy sexxy sexy

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Thu 01/10/08 11:51 AM
Go at it and let me know what you think-- Single, never been married, no kids, want kids, looking for a single, adventerous, fun loving woman...

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Thu 01/10/08 10:52 AM
Edited by cpegus on Thu 01/10/08 10:53 AM

Current mood: pensive
Category: reflective Religion and Philosophy

For some strange reason my heart is saddened by the death of this young seemingly vibrant woman.. I ask myself why do I feel this way and have no answer—as stoic as I am and having lost my wonderful Dad and Bigger brother recently I simply can't comprehend why I feel this way about a person that I never met..—I wasn't as moved as I am with Meredith as with the woman who was attacked at the Silver Comet Trail last year--even though I think that that incident was a very horrible one as well..— I actually went through my phone list to see if somehow I may have known Meredith in some form or fashion.. But alas that wasn't the case—so I question as to why I felt so moved over this?? Had no connection with her—perhaps the little iota of information that I gathered about this woman was that she was a seemingly vibrant soul—A woman hiking by herself goes against all the oppressive precautions that a gender-biased society lays out – "It's aright for a guy to go hiking on his own--- But you!! Not a good idea" well she went against that norm and gender-biased ideology and this guy took advantage of that.. Should the other hikers have stopped and turned around and followed the two? I am sure that it was an odd placed couple to see this young attractive woman with this old man—maybe they thought it was her father--- I wonder if I was there if I would be the creepy guy to turn around and follow them—much the same way I follow drunk drivers swerving on the road when I see them… I just follow them to make sure that if they crash or something happens I am there to help… -- But that is looking at the physical aspect of Meredith Emerson— looking at the non- physical aspect I can clasp onto the irrefutable clause which states that "What ever happens was supposed to happen at the exact time it happened"—It seems to me that something in Meredith motivated her to get up that day and go hiking in the woods—something also motivated her to do this on her own --- who knows if she asked people to accompany her and they refused by virtue of them being busy… Maybe she did ask people to go with her—the fact is that all the cosmic forces of random chance and fate led up to her going hiking on that chilly winter day by herself—Perhaps she had this unquelling uncontrollable urge that motivated her to simply get up and go off on a hike to the mtns by herself—and it just so happens that that something-- that inner incomprehensible force that seem to at various points in time motivate us all to do random things-- that force may have also motivated that OLD SOB to be there at the same time—this random meeting of these two people would of never happen if certain random variables didn't occur – for example: had she got into a fender-bender on the way to the mtn—that might of diminished her immediate tenacity to go hiking or had the OLD SOB got drunk drinking his malt liquor and passed out for the day or well you can only imagine all the possibilities of random events which could of occurred to prevent one or both of these individuals from meeting up with each other on that trail on that given day/time/place—if those two common place random variables that I sited had occurred either cumulatively or singularly then this turn of events would of never happened or let's say if this OLD SOB ran out of gas and got stuck in the parking lot—so it seems to me that the random variables which will place these two individuals in close proximity to each other and hence would of sadly but inevitably lead to the demise of this seemingly vibrant woman were left at bay and the random unison of these two individuals did indeed take place

The aftermath.. The OLD SOB killed her and used her credit card—he took the dog as well—now why didn't the dog react? or did the dog react during the attack is unknown to us but if the dog didn't react then I can argue that it may not of been an obviously violent attack that the OLD SOB placed on Meredith initially—even the other hikers said that she was walking with the individual—I wonder if her sixth sense was subdued and she didn't intercept the negative intentions of this Individual?? Was he such a pro that he hid all of these mal-intentions during the initial interaction?? Why in the world would he take the Dog I wonder.. Why would the dog of gone so readily?? So even more random variables which will of hindered this abduction were kept at bay… for if the dog put up an attack then either the dog would have been dead in which case the mystery may of never been resolved and the killer remain at large or the killing may never of occurred had the dog react… When all is said and done I can ask the question-- was that the time/place and way that she was supposed to have passed out from this life? She ended her journey perhaps doing something she enjoyed the most—being in nature with her fav. Animal.. This individual as harsh as it may sound actually facilitated this .. and in turn he remains in captivity.. I personally hope that he gets the death penalty but once again the suits in congress are claiming that if the third drug is administered to people receiving the death penalty in an improper dosage the person being put to death suffers pain—and as a result the death penalty has been suspended until further hearings----I asked myself when I heard that—did the individual being put to death mind that their victim/s was suffering an intense form of pain???? Did Meredith suffer pain? I guess in cases where it's abundantly clear like in this one that that man took the life of this woman that it really should be inconsequential if he suffers pain while being put to death.

Now comes the religion… so as we view this from a monotonic religious perspective we ask the question of heaven and Hell – all the sudden we transcend our mode of thought from the physical to the non physical.. Perhaps Meredith inner self motivated her to go to that mtn because it needed to place her physical body in a spatial location at a particular time for an experience to occur.. For most of us, this sad experience was death—the motivation of the inner-self was simply that it was time to relinquish itself from the physical body which went by the name and had the unique characteristics of Meredith Emerson.. The physical part, people became associated with and loved dearly--- Meredith Emerson--- could we assume because this OLD SOB did what he did that his non-physical self will be damned to somewhere that Meredith inner-self would not? I can't answer that question—I do know being a biologist that hopefully when the OLD SOB gets the death penalty that his carbons will go into a state of "recyclement" pretty much in the same way that Meredith's is going through now—we can understand and accept this fact—but we can't help but wonder what about the non-physical entity of the two – what happens then? was this whole plan which we consider "Their Life" was this so intricately and accurately orchestrated that it was going to end up in Meredith being murdered on New Years Day 08 in the Ga. Mtns with her dog by her side???? Did things go to plan? Was Meredith shelf life in this realm exactly 25 yrs and 4 months 2 days 12 hrs??

Watching the news I notice that they mixed this story with other stories—it reminds me that even though this tragic incident has happened -life goes on and most people are still going to be concerned with the fact that the Golden Globe Awards will not be televised due to the writers strike and that American Idol will be aired one week from today—and that this remarkable person is only going to get a certain amount of air time—people hearing the story may stop and think about it but life goes on.. Do I really want things to stop?? Would it help if the Virginia Tech Massacre was still televised?

DO I want to go out and start preaching to people that you should cherish the people that comes/came into your life because they to also have a shelf-life and when that time is up that's it .. It really won't help—people are in general monotonic, perhaps even robotic in their basic system-- they follow the same fundamental rules of most biological organisms – they are selfish in nature—the most important and forefront needs of most if not all biological systems are adhering to their basic requirements which mainly entails stuffing food into their mouths and reproducing their DNA.. Nothing else in the bigger scheme of things really matters.. in a permanent sense things/ people/relationships/fads come and go—but those two basic statements will always be consistently true—consume food- spread DNA!!!-- -I am sure another tragic incident will rock the state or rock the nation before New Years 2009 and that will be given air time and right after a Burger King commercial will play—It seems to be kind of hopeless when you think about it—things are exactly how they are and that's it!!!—people will still be losing their houses, losing their jobs, being laid off and losing their loved ones in different forms and fashions and life goes on.. Amidst all of this – I somehow feel very sorry for Meredith Emerson even though I never met her.. I personally can only hope that it was the part of the master plan in which the non-physical entity which resides in her had a shopping list of experiences that it decided to carry out in her lifetime during this dimension and that that shopping List for her went exactly according to plan and "The Energy"-- Her Energy that which created her uniqueness/ her essence is off in another realm of existence seeking perhaps her soul-mate/s which may of never resided in this dimension ---- Perhaps when all things are considered her metaphysical being specifically chose the exact time of it's freedom from her body-- pretty much the same way the we choose the exact time to shed our clothes and replace them with new ones-- the clothes to the body becomes the same value as the body to the soul.. it served it's purpose and it allowed access to certain experiences-- when it's function has been served it is shed without any remorse.. Not may of us will shed a tear as we place our clothes in the washing machine perhaps the inner self don't cry when it rids itself from the body-- For all we know her energy maybe on a quest to find it's soul mate/s or go and re-connect with other energies --even as I write this perhaps Meredith energy is creating a new shopping list of experiences that it wishes or intends to endure in whatever dimension it chooses to reside---- be it this dimension where her energy manifest the form of another physical body or remains as a non-physical energy as in a ghost or spirit Many acknowledge the phrase "Her Spirit Lives On".. Maybe she's hanging out with my folks---- I can only hope that there was indeed a metaphysical rhyme and reason to her life and things are and will just be perfect be


Naturally my deepest condolences go out to her family.