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Community > Posts By > KevinHecka
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Topic:
What causes divorce
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The inability to forgive one another is the only CAUSE of divorces.
K. |
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Topic:
I just
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Name callers. Sticks and stones.. Is that considered a Haiku? |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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Kevin-if you are going to stay with her then you must get help to protect your emotional self.There are ways of setting boundaries which do help though initially may be fought against.Do not try to do this without proffesional advice. Hugs and Blessings to you(both?) Thank you, and I totally agree. In fact, I'm on the fast-track to finding a counselor/professional as we speak. It's just recently that I've discovered the stitches in the seam (if you will) regarding this matter. After having read up, I know that there's no way I can deal with this w/o expert help. Good advice Angel, Thank you, K. |
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Edited by
KevinHecka
on
Thu 08/18/11 11:18 PM
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Alrighty been a hot minute since I have been here....ha ha ha so here I am seeking the advise of you Minglers.... Here is the scenario: Met a guy I like ( hard to believe I know) anyhow been dating just shy about 2 months ( 7 weeks). He has never stepped up to the plate to make it exclusive. In fact he has been wishy washy hot and cold. Apparently he has felt same about me so he says....Anyhow we talked about it and said we would work on our communications. He still never stepped it up. He left out of state for work. 3 days after he left and already communciations lacking a call here and there I went to a birthday party for an old friend. I text him before I left to the party and when I come home from party. No response. While at party an old friend from 10 yrs ago who is drunk begins to hit on me. This guy has a girlfriend who he lives with. Other friends thought it was funny. As an inside joke they took a pic of the 2 of us standing side by side with his arm around my shoulder. They posted the picture on facebook with a caption "Cute Couple". Picture comments followed "aww look" etc etc. The whole intent was to make fun of his drunk *** and to put him on Blast because he has a Girlfriend and was being a DB. I posted back to stop being a match maker he has a girlfriend! Apparently I was tagged in photo on my facebook page. The guy I have been dating Flipped out the next day. All of a sudden I am the bad guy and a whore because he says I didnt post back that I already have a man! ( which FYI I never knew he was my man!) Anyhow I tried to explain the situation and apologized a trillion times and pour my heart out to him for over an hour kissing his *** ( which I NEVER do) and yet he still is pissed and wants nothing to do with me. I realize that overall its insanely stupid. And what was meant as a joke probably was not that funny to him obviously. I do feel bad if I hurt him. But realistically I didn't do anything. It was only a photo. And after explaining the situation....I would think he would be able to let it go.... I feel frustrated because I didn't do anything with the guy or any other guy for that matter. I ve been waiting for him to step it up because he is who I wanted to be with. So it angers me that everything is now screwed up especially because was innocent and he refuses to believe me. He wants to believe what he wants and I can't change that or fix the situation. So now I feel Mind F k'd and heartbroken So to me it doesn't make sense.... I feel it would make more sense if he has insecurity hang ups or met someone else right? Or could he just be that mad and his pride causing all this? In a way I guess it doesn't matter unless he has a change of heart because as of now he hates me. Any words of wisdom appreciated... Lady, if this fella (whom you've known for such a short time) 'hates' you, you need to head to higher pasture. Because he's a jerk. He didn't respond when you contacted him. That tells me he's either full of himself or just not interested. Keep on it if you like the abuse, if not turn your boat around. Good riddance to bad rubbish. K. |
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Topic:
What is friendship?
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Friendship is someone you bumped into by pure coincidence. Had great laughs together, shared tough times shoulder to shoulder with, went ballistic on-or they on you, but you got past the apologies and moved on to the next day. A friend is someone that you'd throw down for in a New York minute if the **** hit the fan and you know that they'd do the same for you. Someone who's got your back and you theirs.
A friend is a friend when you don't have to think about what they'd think about you. There's more but that's all I can think of on the spot. K. |
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Topic:
Why are you here
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In regards to the OP:
I'm here because I want to hear other peoples stories and opinions. I don't drink, don't smoke dope, don't own a t.v., read an awful lot more than I probably should and am in a relationship with a gal that's primarily focused on herself and can't carry on in depth conversations for more than approximately 4 minutes. That and I work on a farm with a bunch of fellas who no speaky the englich. So I don't get a lot of time to really converse about things I want to converse about. It's about ME time. LOL! K. |
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Topic:
Why do people cheat?
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IMO People cheat as they are not able to communicate with their SO.They are also cowards who feather a 'new' nest as they will have somewhere to go when all hits the fan. If they not happy instead of admitting it they cheat so the SO can tell them to get out and then in their miniscule minds they are not 'guilty' as they have been told to go!!!! Wow is that twisted! But I think you nailed it. I believe in certain circles that is referred to as 'Self fulfilling prophecy' (?) I'd agree with the matter of communication problems within the relationship that leads to 'cheating'. But IMO the cheater is a self willed 'Me first' person who never entered into a relationship either for the sake of 'relation' nor the 'ship' part. So communications within that relationship are not as much reciprocal in rythmn and nature as much as they are meant to gain the 'cheaters' own point across or their way done. Once the 'cheater' has figured out (as a poster had said earlier) that he/she must share and or sacrifice within the relationship...the relationship is on its way out. blah, blah, blah... you get the point. K. |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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I have NO idea how that happened!! LOL!
But you make a great point all together. Well, first of all, getting her to recognize her faults is a huge no no. After having read up on the matter it appears as though we feed off of each other. She's highly irrational, can't maintain a train of thought if it isn't directly related to her ; wheras I myself am very logical and actually supress my anger. We're diametrically opposed in our nature you see. (?) . I see everything in her and coincedentally so does she LOL! So the option of directing towards help would cause her to digress deeper into her own defense mechanisms. What has to happen is for me to take care of me w/o her knowing I am taking care of me. So the quacks say. This is truly a woman I care for greatly primarily as a friend (as we have been through some genuine trials together and have survived) and giving up on her is not an option. It is true to say that we will never be intimate (unless she does admit her case and seek therapy) because her disorder requires a constant feeding into her ego, a fan club if you will. I guess if I didn't love her, I wouldn't have taken the time to figure out the situation and would have walked away a long time ago. That's o.k., I've got big shoulders. Thanks, K. |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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If they had been diagnosed before you started to see one another and it wasn't mentioned then that is so bad.If diagnosed then they ought to be in therapy which can help. If not diagnosed then maybe you could persuade her to seek help? It would depend how you feel. If she doesn't listen and accept help then get out as the current situation is not fair on you. |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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If they had been diagnosed before you started to see one another and it wasn't mentioned then that is so bad.If diagnosed then they ought to be in therapy which can help. If not diagnosed then maybe you could persuade her to seek help? It would depend how you feel. If she doesn't listen and accept help then get out as the current situation is not fair on you. |
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Topic:
Why do people cheat?
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Get to the quick! People cheat because they're losers. They don't have a backbone in their body. Cheaters are liars, sneaks and cowards. They tend to be self centered in almost every aspect of their lives and within their own little pee sized brains their sense of reasoning is soley ego centered and focused. Cheaters have no self esteem and are constantly looking for that 'quick fix' to every problem in their lives. That goes for men and women alike my .02cents on the matter. K. I couldn't have said it more nicely. It's the Cowboy way. ):-) |
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The North American Free Trade Agreement was originated in '86'. Herbert Walker Bush signed the agreement in '92'. Clinton signed it after it was ratifide in '94'.
We live in a global economy, there is no avoiding it; and there is no going back. The best thing we can do as a nation is pull together and learn to be the best at it. History has proven time and time again that survivival is not to the swiftest or the strongest, but to those who could adapt. We need to adapt. K. |
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Topic:
Why do people cheat?
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Get to the quick!
People cheat because they're losers. They don't have a backbone in their body. Cheaters are liars, sneaks and cowards. They tend to be self centered in almost every aspect of their lives and within their own little pee sized brains their sense of reasoning is soley ego centered and focused. Cheaters have no self esteem and are constantly looking for that 'quick fix' to every problem in their lives. That goes for men and women alike my .02cents on the matter. K. |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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Yes I've heard of the term, and dealt with the sort (still do with some friends). Get rid of them if possible and minimize the time to spend with the friends. mmm...yes. Reading up on the matter, it appears the victim and the histronic tend to feed off of each other. K. |
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I hate to burst your bubble OP but the Spooks had been giving the tallywhackers approximately 7 mil. a year since the Russian invasion ended. The funds were to be allocated towards promoting edible crops for the populace rather than the growing of Opium Poppies. All that ended after 9/11. Tis a fact.
K. |
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Topic:
Emotional Vampires
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Has anybody here had any experiences with this type of individual? Generally, it's associated with borderline personality disorders and or Histronic behaviour.
I've been in a relationship with a lady on and off again but her dramatics and inability to maintain a grip on reality constantly tip the scales and I tend to boost out for a while. The consistent emotional rollercoaster gets very tiring after a while. I'd like to hear others opinions and or stories about the matter (emotional vampires). Strictly for my own personal and selfish reasons of course!! :) Thanks, K. |
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Topic:
Looking for a husband
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That didn't answer my questions.  What would be said if they op was a man? I think honesty is at a premium today. I think lying, cheating and stealing has become such the norm that it's considered old fashioned to just call it like you see (or want) it. I like old fashioned. It's tangible and real. No mental masturbation, just meat and potatoes. This lady represented herself front and center w/o the mental masturbation that is the norm with finding a mate in the 21st Century. Cut and dried, K. :) |
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i've been shot down in flames by several women on this site. i won't mention names, but their names rhyme with babchi txsgal3333 carold roadlesstrvld txmomof2 yellowrose10 spiritfilled24 amandarj lov2roknroll rowbaby soufiehere bastet pmarco eileen9 red lace chelsea466 unholyflesh suzanne20 redhead44613 rhearabies simonedemidova okcutie67 heartbreaker123 mssilverfox fireflysgirl tanyaann mag83 troublebug josie68 stefy37 winterblue56 bettyb vivian2981 mls31 ruth34611 sneaksintoyourheart alterette 2kidsmom kissablekiss thewaterbearer artgurl holly4459 (on a daily basis) and most recently krupa  Now THAT'S frigging hilarious!!! ROFLMAO!!! |
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Topic:
Looking for a husband
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Lots of men are praising the OP for being very straight forward and honest. It's almost as if you all aren't thinking women are being honest unless they say right away that they're looking for a husband. Is that the case? Or, do you really think most women aren't honest about what they're looking for? What do you need to hear in order to see that someone is being honest? IMOH, the Lady calls it like she sees it. A fella can build on that, make a future if that's what's in his cards as well. There's no dancing around the maypole with this Lady. She wants a husband and wants to raise a family. And that's a hell of a great goal in my opinion. There's a purity in what she says simply because she's cut all the fat out. There's no MIND GAMES pure simple. K. |
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Edited by
KevinHecka
on
Mon 08/08/11 09:38 PM
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Why do we all feel the need to use dating sites as tools to reel potential partners or such like in? Fair enough...I'll bite. The Net. provide me the opportunity to meet and converse with someone from another area, another city or country. I live in a farming community and most people here couldn't fight there way out of a paper bag mentally. They have never been anywhere, aren't going anywhere and their inability to discuss matters outside of their little fishbowl is very boring. The net provides me the ability to talk to others and here their opinions of the world from their standpoint. I work 6 days a week 10 hours a day, it's nice to get away and here the world beyond this farming community. This dating site (as it's the only one I participate in) tend to have folks that are a little less wound up say compared to a political chat room/forum. I appreciate good reciprocating conversation with intelligent people, even if it is on a 'dating' site. LOL! "As Iron sharpens iron, so one mans countenance sharpens the other." If I meet a lady here, it's not about shacking up as much as it is for the sake of needing to talk, about their world, and mine. Share a life if you will. Your mileage may vary, K. |
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