A group of scientists did a competition to test the intelligence of Nigerian students in inventing things.
On the grand finalle, three students were called form the crowd to come and present what they invented.
The first student went there and said:- "I'm Adeseun Tope from Lagos, i invented a biro that can write what people are saying on apaper itself,he practicalised it and he was applauded"
The next student went there and said "i'm Ehirim Chinwe from Imo,i invented a chip thatwill tell the amount of money inthe pocket of anyone standing close to it,he practicalised it and was applauded".
The third student went there and said "i'm Gambo Sani from Kano,i invented an explosive that could shatter the human body into a million pieces, penetrating the hardest of bones, can you allow me to sit down while i practicalise it?" The chief scientist stood up and said "don't bother to practicalise it,you are the winner of this competition"
people, who is the real winner of the competition?

Did you ever stop for a while and asked yourself,
what is going to happen to me the first night in my grave ?
Think about the moment your body is being washed and prepared to your grave
... Think about the day people will be carrying you to your grave
And your families crying…think about the moment you are put in your grave
Just imagine …yourself in your grave
Down there in that dark hole
Alone
Its too Dark you cry for help
But………
It is too narrow your bones are squashed
You regret missing 5 prayers ,you regret listening music ,you regret not wearing Hijab
You regret ignoring Allah ‘s orders
But no ESCAPE ……
You alone with your deeds
No money ,no jewelries, Only your deeds
May Allah (subhanahu wa ta’ala) protect us all from the punishment of the grave. Ameen

Doubles the guard cos i love been secured

A Spanish teacher was explaining
to her class that in Spanish,
unlike English, nouns are
designated as either masculine
or feminine.
“House” for instance, is feminine: “la casa.”
“Pencil,” however, is masculine:
“el lapiz.”
A student asked, “What gender is
‘computer’?”
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and
asked them to decide for
themselves whether “computer”
should be a masculine or a
feminine noun. Each group was asked to give
four reasons for its
recommendation.
The men’s group decided that
“computer” should definitely be
of the feminine gender (“lacomputadora”), because:
1. No one but their creator
understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use
to communicate with other
computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are
stored in long term memory for
possible later retrieval;and
4. As soon as you makea
commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your
paycheck on accessories for it.
The women’s group, however,
concluded that computers
should be Masculine (“el
computador”), because:1. In order to do anything with
them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but
still can’t think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you
solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one,
you realize that if you had
waited a little longer, you could
have gotten a better model.

Good boy i am

THIS GAME: It's
called "THE LAST
MAN STANDING". ...
The one who
comments last
wins. I give u a
starting word with
each letter that
ends your
sentence, d next
person too
comments using
your last word 2
start their
sentence in that
order e.g, "Welcome
2 d game" Next
person will use d
word 'game' e.g, ... ...
"game of dis sort is
4 matured
peoples". Next
person will start
his/her sentence
wit 'peoples' and so
on. PLEASE MAKE
SURE UR COMMENT
IS IN LINE WITH THE
GAME'S
RULE..TENKZ!.....LET
D GAME BEGINS!!!
peoples here are
good.

After getting all of the Pope's
luggage loaded into thelimo
(and he doesn't travel lightly),
the driver notices that the Pope
is still standing on the curb.
The Pope was still standing on
the curb.
"Excuse me, Your Eminence,"
says the driver,"Would you
please take your seat so we can
leave?"
"Well, to tell you the truth," says
the Pope, "they never let me
drive at the Vatican, and I'd
really like to drive today"
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you
do that. I'd lose my job! And
what if something should
happen?" protests the driver,
wishing he'd never gone to
work that morning.
"There might be something
extra in it for you," says the
Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in
the back as the Pope climbs in
behind the wheel.
The driver quickly regrets his
decision when, after exiting the
airport, the Supreme Pontiff
floors it, accelerating the limo to
105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your
Holiness!!!" pleads the worried
driver, but the Pope keeps the
pedal to the metal until they
hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose
my license," moans the driver.
Bigger
The Pope pulls over and rolls
down the window as thecop
approaches, but the cop takes
one look at him, goes back to
his motorcycle, and gets on the
radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he
says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and
the cop tells him that he's
stopped a limo going a hundred
and five.
"So bust him," said the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do
that, he's really important," said
the cop.
Chief exclaimed, "All themore
reason!"
"No, I mean really important,"
said the cop.
The Chief then asked,"Who ya
got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief,"Who is
it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes youthink
it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Popefor a
limo driver!"

PHONE RINGS!!
Girl: Hello
Guy: My love how are u doing?
Girl: Am fine.
Guy: Will u be less busy by weekend to come to my house.
Girl: Am sorry I can't make it because I will be attending my aunty's wedding & d next day is d tjanks giving in church, am so occupied.
Guy: I wanted to take u out for shopping to suprise u with d BB Porche & the Brazilian hair u've been asking for.
Girl: I will be coming & I may even spend d weekend if u want my love.
Guy: What of d wedding?
Girl: Which wedding? I was just joking.
.
Guy: Me too.

Feelin it?

A young businessman had just started his own
firm. He rented a beautiful office and hadit
furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer
office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the
businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a bigdeal working. He threw huge
figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "CanI help
you?" The man said,"Yeah, I've come to activate your
phone lines

╬╬╬╬Seeing, no way outof so many problems, ayoung man
dropped to his knees inprayer."Lord, i cant go on,"
he said. "My cross is too heavy to bear."
The lord replied, "MY son, if you can't bear its
weight, just place your cross inside this room.
Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."
With much relief he sighed, "Thank you, Lord." As
he did what he was told. Upon entering the other
door, he saw many crosses; some so largethe tops
were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross
leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.
With a gentle smile the Lord replied, "My son,
that is the cross you just brought in.

Chinese Call-Centre Caller : Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan Operator: Yes,
you can speak to me. Caller : No, I want to speak to
Annie Wan
Operator : Yes I understand you want tospeak to
anyone. You can speakto me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator :I know you are someone and you want to
talk to anyone ! But what's this urgent matter
about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our
brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident.Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the
hospital. Right now , Avery Wan is on his way to the
hospital.
Operator: Look, if no one was injured and noone was
sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an
urgent matter! You mayfind this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller: You are so rude!Who are you? Operator: I'm
Saw Ree
Caller:Yes! You should be sorry . Now give meyour
name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree .... Caller: O h .......God!!

Hmmmm.

What a girl want in guys is. Honesty, love and peace. But 40% in guys have this. WHY?

Just post. What makes you happy in your life

During the wedding rehearsal, the groom approached the pastor with an unusual offer:"Look, I'll give you$100 if you'll change the wedding vows. When you get to the part where I'm supposed to promise to'love, honor and obey' and 'be faithful to her forever,' I'd appreciate it if you'd just leave that out." He passed the minister a $100 bill and walked away satisfied. On the day ofthe wedding, when it came time for the groom's vows, the pastor looked the young man in the eye and said: "Will you promise to prostrate yourself before her, obey her every command and wish, serve her breakfast in bed every morning of your life, and swear eternally before God and your lovely wife that you will not ever even look at another woman, as long as you both shall live?" The groom gulped and looked around, and said in a tiny voice,"Yes," then leaned toward the pastor and hissed: "I thought we had a deal." The pastorput a $100 bill into the groom's hand and whispered: "She made me a better offer

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