A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the
Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. Everyone on Earth has a
Lie-Clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose clock is that one?"?

St. Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's Barack's clock?" asked the man.

"Barack's clock is in Jesus' office. He's using it as a ceiling fan."

* ATD- At the Doctor's

* BFF - Best Friends Funeral

* BTW- Bring the Wheelchair

* BYOT - Bring Your Own Teeth

* CBM- Covered by Medicare

* CUATSC- See You at the Senior Citizens

* DWI- Driving While Incontinent

* FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

* GGPBL- Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low

* GHA - Got Heartburn Again

* LMDO- Laughing My Dentures Out

* LOL- Living on Lipitor

* TOT- Texting on Toilet

Hope these help

Skype is much better than phone ..LOL

A father was approached by his small son who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!"
His father smiled and replied, "What do you mean, you 'know' what the Bible means?
The son replied, "I do know!"
"Okay," said his father. "What does the Bible mean?"
"That's easy, Daddy..." the young boy replied excitedly," It stands for 'Basic Information Before Leaving Earth.'
_____________________________________________________________________

A minister parked his car in a no-parking zone in a large city because he was short of time and couldn't find a space with a meter. Then he put a note under the windshield wiper that read: "I have circled the block 10 times.
If I don't park here, I'll miss my appointment. Forgive us our trespasses."
When he returned, he found a citation from a police officer along with this note "I've circled this block for 10 years. If I don't give you a ticket I'll lose my job. Lead us not into temptation."

_____________________________________________________________________

A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?"
A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy.
"Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked.
"You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... "

\

NOPE as it was LOVE at LAST SIGHT for me on Skype...LOL

Post more thread in the forum to meet more people...and goodluck

Some of them are here in the Philippines

huh? kelan naging liberated ang pagiging ASONG ULOL???

correct...tawag doon ASONG ULOL

Mrs. Ravioli comes to visit her son Frankie for dinner.
He lives with a female roommate, Maria.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Frankie's roommate is.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Frankie and his roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Frankie volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Maria and I are just roommates.''

About a week later, Maria came to Frankie saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

"Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote an email:

Dear MaMa,

I'm not saying that you "did" take the sugar bowl from my house ; I'm not saying that you "did not" take it.
But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Your Loving Son
Anthony
Several days later, Frankie received a response email from his MaMa which read:
Dear son,

I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Maria, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with her.
But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the sugar bowl by now.

Your Loving MaMa

Moral Lesson:
Never Bulla Shita you MaMa

-never hurt to asked questions...part of knowing each other I guess...as long that the question is not offensive...

I will start and please feel free to add more...

-What is the one thing about yourself that you would like me to know?

-Have you had a long-term relationship? Why did it end?

-What do you think is the most important value in a relationship?

-Have you been married before?

-Do you have any children? How do you feel about children?

-If you are married, who would you honor first: your spouse or your friends or your parents or your children (if applicable)?

After being married for thirty years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.

He looked at her for a while ... then said, "You're A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K."

She asks ... "What does that mean?"

He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.

She smiled happily and said ... "Oh, that's so lovely ... What about I, J, K?"

He said, "I'm Just Kidding!"

The swelling in his eye is going down and the doctor is fairly optimistic about saving his testicles.

Scammers are everywhere...Just learn to use your instinct and judgment to figure it out.

Welcome to Mingle2 and enjoy the forum site

I can cook and love it so much..was a frustrated CHEF

it should be 50-50...

Agree....Your choice and your decision......

Love the HUNTER X HUNTER and NARUTO