Same Age

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can't come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says I'm sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there'��s nothing I can do about it.
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, ��That's impossible! That can'��t be!
The Doctor says, ��What do you mean? I'm the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it's NOT old age?
The patient answers, I'm no doctor but it doesn't take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you'��re mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine.
So what?says the doctor ��What difference does that make?
Well it doesn't hurt a bit, and it's the same age!

Same Age

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn’t heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can’t find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full physical exam, and still can’t come up with any possible explanation for the pain.
The doctor hands the patient his bill and says, “I’m sorry but the pain in your leg is simply caused by old age, there’s nothing I can do about it.”
The old man replies with a look of disbelief, “That’s impossible! That can’t be!”
The Doctor says, “What do you mean? I’m the expert here; if you know so much, how can you say it’s NOT old age?”
The patient answers, “I’m no doctor but it doesn’t take a medical degree to tell that your diagnosis is wrong. Clearly you’re mistaken. After all my other leg feels just fine.”
“So what?” says the doctor “What difference does that make?”
“Well it doesn’t hurt a bit, and it’s the same age!”

...will do your laundry
...will give you massage
...and will give you the best ohh lala

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, “Hello, Mrs. Ward, please.”
“Speaking.”
“Mrs. Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When your doctor sent your husband’s biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from another Mr. Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your husband’s. Frankly, the results are either bad or terrible.”
“What do you mean?” Mrs. Ward asks nervously.
“Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for AIDS. We can’t tell which is your husband’s.”
“That’s dreadful! Can’t you do the test again?” questioned Mrs. Ward.
“Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.”
“Well, what am I supposed to do now?”
“The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”

Sorry not interested but welcome to Mingle

Best defense for that...IGNORE and BLOCKED...

Define nice lady?

Bihira but welcome sa site...

pwede man pipol mag bisaya diri ke ato man ni na room,nag asked na ko sa una sa mod kung pwede ta maggamit sa atong sariling lenggwahe ingon pwede daw basta sa ato lang na room.....buot anay ba diay kung libakon nato sila

Post some picture on your profile ...

Is it life begins at 50 and not 40 at all?

What kind of game do you play? DOTA, SHAIYA, CS, DIABLO, RAGNAROK?

Welcome back Rose and good to see you again

his BLUE EYES

I disagree as it's better to love a person whom you know for a long time as your best friend and make things develops every minute of the day...

AGREE or DISAGREE?

Capricorn Men

Sex evokes the best he can offer. He is a planner and a schemer. Prefers a woman who knows what he enjoys and he expects her to be willing and ready whenever he wants her. Has the stamina of a marathon runner.

Aquarius Men

Never treats a woman like a sex object and prefers a variety of foreplay before getting down to it. May have be to revived up, but once his engine is started, he is free and inventive with amazing persistence.

Pisces Men

Takes the lead in lovemaking and impatient if he doesn’t get a swift response. Indifferent to sexual restrictions, both moral and legal, prefers a partner with a tremendous sexual craving. Likes sex in a chair. He likes to be submissive. Becomes an addict to anything that will give pleasure and release.

Aries Men

Sleeping with him is like playing croquet with live bombs-you never know what is going to happen! Never expect him to wait for you to be ready.

Taurus Men

He is the ideal lover – sensitive and understanding of his partner’s feelings. He prefers it slow and easy, he won’t be your guide to the exotic unknown, but what he does, he does beautifully.

Gemini Men

He likes it with the lights on in front of the mirror. He can work any partner into the mood because he knows exactly how to evoke the right responses. Tends to be fast and furious, more concerned with satisfying himself than his partner, but he is more adequate in areas of lovemaking that are often neglected by other men. He can tell a woman exactly what she wants to hear.

Cancer Men

His most surprising technique: intercourse with no hands. He has a need for constant encouragement and if gotten, he will be a delightful swain. Both patient and aggressive, he will often begin somewhere other than the bed, likes being in command, and is a master at manual clitoral manipulation! You’ll like the trip as it is as much traveling to a place as it is arriving.

Leo Men

Simply brushes aside rules and conventions. One important rule to remember about him: NEVER tease. His endurance is remarkable and he has a great appetite for making love.

Virgo Men

Too shy to make an overture, but when the moment arrives, you had better be prepared for him to bring his pajamas, shaving equipment and toothbrush. He likes to talk about how you like it and having talked about it, he will key in on the right erotic response. Don’t expect imagination, but he is a hard worker and is open to suggestion.

Libra Men

Looks for the whole experience, not just a tumble between the sheets. Has a definite kinky side.He has the patience needed to satisfy. He likes women who dress well and have long hair. If a woman’s clothes look as though they are easily removed, he finds her hard to ignore.

Scorpio Men

lustful, sexy animal. Likes it in the water, but his kink is that he prefers wood tables and hard floors to satin and silk.

Sagittarius Men

He seldom comes too quickly and he’ll be the first to try a new position. He is the master of erotic massage – both oral and manual. His tongue can be a wicked instrument and when combined with his lips, creates an explosive affect!

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her."

"That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.

"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.

"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk - you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest.

"Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?"

"Of course, my son," said the priest.

The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?"

and love is the reason why there are lots of pregnants here in my country,LOL

One day, a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven, where he meets the Lord Himself.

The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life, and if there is any way I can make your stay in heaven more comfortable, please let me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor."

The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful, fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident, and all of them go to heaven.

Again, the Lord is there to greet them with the same offer.

The mice answer, "All our lives we have been chased.

We have had to run from cats, dogs, and even women with brooms.

Running, running, running; we're tired of running.

Do you think we could have roller skates so that we don't have to run anymore?"

The Lord says, "Say no more" and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

Week later, the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow.

The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns, then replies, "It is wonderful here.

Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"