Thank you so much sir

My boyfriend and I broke up for the last time lastmonth. We've been together for 3 years but have known each other for 4. I live 1 and a half hours away from the majority of my friends. He was my best friend for not so long and I can't stop crying. I have never felt so bad after a breakup. The thought of him being with someone else kills me. He told me he didn't love me anymore, care about me anymore and needed time on his own. I was completely blindsided because yesterday everything was okay. Crazy how life can be so cruel. I just got dumped from a 3 year relationship that for him it was just a **** and nothing. Not even over a month ago. I'm dealing with really bad depression and a panic attack right now and feel so broken , But if I look back to the relationship, it wasn't at all what I would wanted for my self. We didn't do anything together, he was always telling me lies and alibi. I gave all my energy into it, trying to fixed it, trying to make it work, I even tried to change myself.
I didn't have any energy left for other things in life, like my friends, they said that my light was dead, what happened to me, I wasn't positive and happy. But I wanted so hard to make it work, he was my first real bf, I would do anything and give everything for him. But he would not. simple as that. I know that he wanted it also, trying on his own way, but I think that a relationship should not be so hard to maintain if had just the sincerity, the commitments and the time. It should give you energy, not taking it away. It hurts like hell, because I fell like I got nothing left, that I gave it all, I invested all to him that I cannot afford to lose. nothing makes me happy, I'm just trying to get through the day and hoping that I will feel that I am enough for my self and that something will make me happy someday again. I feel hopeless, cuz I gave it all and it didn't work out, it crushes my self-esteem, how will I ever make anything done and succeed, if I did my best here and we failed, I failed. All I want now is to sleep.