Signs that you are too drunk would be...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
Career won't progress beyond Senator of Massachusetts.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now THAT'S a drinking problem!
You can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, 5 beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you
At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..."
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
You wake up in the bedroom, your underwear is in the bathroom, you fell asleep clothed. - hmmm.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...

What was it like in the beginning
To be man all alone in the world
Days had to be terrible nothing to live for
Nights were worst unable to sleep trying to dream only to wake up to a nightmare
So many long days and nights had to take a toll on his heart
When finally heart ache breaks him down the soul prays to the heavens
So man being the artist
God his paint
And woman the canvas
A work of art was to be created
Man said she shall take form so the oceans waves created her body
The day disappeared to night and man reached out and god gave him two stars to make her eyes
Man and god took a walk in the garden of eden
Man reached hard for the prefect rose to make her soft sweet lips and her tasty scent
But god then asked man a question only he could answer
Will you give up part of your heart so she can have one too
Man without a single thought
Said yes my lord without her I don't even have one
Now that man has woman lonely days are gone and nights well dreams do come true
After you find that someone that has your heart

Women And Dogs

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN WOMEN

Dogs don't cry (unless they have to pee).

Dogs love it when your friends come over.

Dogs don't care if you use their shampoo.

Dogs think you sing great.

A dog's time in the bathroom is confined to a quick drink.

Dogs don't expect you to call when you are running late.

The later you are, the more excited dogs are to see you

Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

Dogs are excited by rough play.

Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.

Dogs understand that farts are funny.

Dogs love red meat.

Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.

Anyone can get a good-looking dog.

If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

Dogs don't shop.

Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.

A dog's disposition stays the same all month long.

Dogs never need to examine the relationship.

A dog's parents never visit.

Dogs love long car trips.

Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking for directions.

Dogs understand that all animals smaller than dogs were made to be hunted.

When a dog gets old and starts to snap at you incessantly, you can shoot it.

Dogs like beer.

Dogs don't hate their bodies.

No dog ever bought a Kenny G or Hootie & the Blowfish album.

No dog ever put on 100 pounds after reaching adulthood.

Dogs never criticize.

Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

Dogs never expect gifts.

It's legal to keep a dog chained up at your house.

Dogs don't worry about germs.

Dogs don't want to know about every other dog you ever had.

Dogs like to do their snooping outside as opposed to in your wallet, desk, and the back of your sock drawer.

Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.

You never have to wait for a dog, they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

Dogs have no use for flowers, cards, or jewelry.

Dogs don't borrow your shirts.

Dogs never want foot-rubs.

Dogs enjoy heavy petting in public.

Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

Dogs can't talk. Dogs aren't catty.

Dogs seldom outlive you.



HOW DOGS AND WOMEN ARE ALIKE

Both look stupid in hats.

Both can eat 5 pounds of chocolate in one sitting.

Both tend to have "hip" problems.

Neither understand football.

Both look good in a fur coat.

Both are good at pretending that they're listening to every word you say.

Neither believe that silence is golden.

Both constantly want back rubs.

Neither can balance a check book.

You can never tell what either of them is thinking.

Both put too much value on kissing.



HOW WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

It is socially acceptable to have sexual relations with a woman.

Women look good in sweaters.

Women leave the room to fart.

Though they only have two, women's breasts are far more interesting.

i heard there making another movie?

i have a total of 16 tattoos
i have on my left are my cat on the moon,3 stars,wiley coyote,gengar the ghost pokemon and a evil pumpkin
my right arm i have a spider web with 2 spiders,a hammer head shark,the thudercat head,a scorpian, the roadrunner and a crazy bunny wabbit
and on my chest i have a heart and the grim reaper
so ppl think they arent art but i do

Men And Dogs

WHY DOGS ARE BETTER THAN MEN

Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
Dogs miss you when you're gone.
Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.
Dogs don't criticize your friends.
Dogs admit when they're jealous.
Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
Dogs do not play games with you--except Frisbee (and they never laugh at how you throw).
Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
You can train a dog.
Dogs are easy to buy for.
You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.
The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
(OK. The *really* worst disease you can get from them is rabies, but there's a vaccine for it, and you get to kill the one that gives it to you.)
Dogs understand what no means.
Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.
Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
Dogs admit it when they're lost.
Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.
Dogs mean it when they kiss you.



HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE ALIKE

Both take up too much space on the bed.
Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning.
Both are threatened by their own kind.
Both mark their territory.
Both are bad at asking you questions.
Both have an inordinate fascination with women's crotches.
Neither does any dishes.
Both pass gas shamelessly.
Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.
Both like dominance games.
Both are suspicious of the postman.
Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.
Neither understands what you see in cats.



HOW MEN ARE BETTER THAN DOGS

Men only have two feet that track in mud.
Men can buy you presents.
Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them around the block.
Men are a little bit more subtle.
Dogs have dog breath all the time.
Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.
And the number one reason dogs fall short...
It's fun to dry off a wet man !!!!!!!! (If you're a woman that is !!!)

Smart and Dumb

Smart Man + Smart Woman = Romance

Smart Man + Dumb Woman = Pregnancy

Dumb Man + Smart Woman = Affair

Dumb Man + Dumb Woman = Marriage

Smart Boss + Smart Employee = Profits

Smart Boss + Dumb Employee = Production

Dumb Boss + Smart Employee = Promotion

Dumb Boss + Dumb Employee = Overtime

About Women

Women especially love a bargain. The question of 'need' is irrelevant, so don't bother pointing it out. Anything on sale is fair game.
Women never have anything to wear. Don't question the racks of clothes in the closet; you 'just don't understand'.
Women need to cry. And they won't do it alone unless they know you can hear them.
Women will always ask questions that have no right answer, in an effort to trap you into feeling guilty.
Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to fill it, even if they have nothing to say.
Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are. That's why soap operas and Oprah Winfrey-type shows are so successful.
Women don't need sex as often as men do. This is because sex is more physical for men and more emotional for women. Just knowing that the man wants to have sex with them fulfills the emotional need.
Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp involved.
Women can't keep secrets. They eat away at them from the inside. And they don't view it as being untrustworthy, providing they only tell two or three people.
Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.
Women can't refuse to answer a ringing phone, no matter what she's doing. It might be the lottery calling.
Women never understand why men love toys. Men understand that they wouldn't need toys if women had an 'on/off' switch.
Women think all beer is the same.
Women keep three different shampoos and two different conditioners in the shower. After a woman showers, the bathroom will smell like a tropical rain forest.
Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape reality. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.
If a man goes on a seven-day trip, he'll pack five days worth of clothes and will wear some things twice; if a woman goes on a seven-day trip she'll pack 21 outfits because she doesn't know what she'll feel like wearing each day.
Women brush their hair before bed.
Watch a woman eat an ice cream cone and you'll have a pretty good idea about how she'll be in bed.
Women are paid less than men, except for one field: Modeling.
Women are never wrong. Apologizing is the man's responsibility, 'It's there in the Bible'. Hmmm, who was it that gave Adam the apple?
Women do not know anything about cars. 'Oil-stick, oil doesn't stick?'
Women have better restrooms. They get the nice chairs and red carpet. Men just get a large bowl to share.
The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
Women love to talk on the phone. A woman can visit her girlfriend for two weeks, and upon returning home, she will call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, or get the mail.
Women will drive miles out of their way to avoid the possibility of getting lost using a shortcut.
Women don't try as hard as men during sex; after all, they don't fall asleep afterwards.
Women do NOT want an honest answer to the question, 'How do I look?'
PMS stands for: Permissible Man-Slaughter. (Or at least men think it means that. PMS also stands for Preposterous Mood Swings and Punish My Spouse.
The first naked man a woman sees is 'Ken'.
Women are insecure about their weight, butt, and breast sizes.
Women will make three right-hand turns to avoid making one left-hand turn.
'Oh, nothing,' has an entirely different meaning in woman-language than it does in man-language.
Lewis Carroll's Caterpillar had nothing on women.
Women cannot use a map without turning the map to correspond to the direction that they are heading.
All women are overweight by definition; don't agree with them about it. Women always have 5 pounds to lose, but don't bring this up unless they really have 5 pounds to gain.
If it is not Valentines day and you see a man in a flower shop, you can probably start up a conversation by asking, 'What did you do?'
Only women understand the reason for 'guest towels' and the 'good china'.
Women want equal rights, but you rarely hear them clamoring to be let into the draft to cover the responsibilities that go with those rights. All women seek equality with men until it comes to sharing the closet, taking out the trash, and picking up the check.
If a man ticks off a woman she will often respond by getting a fuzzy toilet cover which warms their rear, but makes it impossible for the lid to stay up thus it constantly gets peed on by the guys. (which gets them in more trouble)
Women never check to see if the lid is up. They seem to prefer taking a flying butt leap towards the bowl and then chewing men out because they 'left the seat up' instead of taking two seconds and lowering it themselves.
Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.
Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary. You don't see women trampling over Tom Cruise to get to Gilbert Gottfried, do you?
Women fake orgasm because men fake foreplay.
It's okay for women to dance with each other and not be gay. You don't see straight men dancing together.
Women will spend hours dressing up to go out, and then they'll go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other men; women will always catch men checking out other women.
The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party. You don't hear men say, 'Oh-my-GOD, there's another man wearing a black tux, get me out of here!

after losing to michigan osu is 6-6 what bowl will pick them i know they had a bad season but osu brings alot of fans to the game so i was wondering where will they end up?

if your crazy you can well i kinda am but still getting a tattoo on your chest its cool but hurts like hell

Love is a very powerful thing.
We chase after it we try to run from it we don't realize that we are in love
It can turn a smart man into a totally moron.
It can make a man that talks to much into a man without words.
Love can make you feel awesome like you can do almost anything but also rip out your heart
Makes us do really crazy things to get the attention of that person we want the most.
I thought I hide from love yet not even I can do that.

What was it like in the beginning
To be man all alone in the world
Days had to be terrible nothing to live for
Nights were worst unable to sleep trying to dream only to wake up to a nightmare
So many long days and nights had to take a toll on his heart
When finally heart ache breaks him down the soul prays to the heavens
So man being the artist
God his paint
And woman the canvas
A work of art was to be created
Man said she shall take form so the oceans waves created her body
The day disappeared to night and man reached out and god gave him two stars to make her eyes
Man and god took a walk in the garden of eden
Man reached hard for the prefect rose to make her soft sweet lips and her tasty scent
But god then asked man a question only he could answer
Will you give up part of your heart so she can have one too
Man without a single thought
Said yes my lord without her I don't even have one
Now that man has woman lonely days are gone and nights well dreams do come true
After you find that someone that has your heart

still have a few spots to make tattoos

the ones on my chest hurt alot getting a zombie girl on my arm next

im rob im 36 from ohio
lets see im 5ft 9 and about 165 pounds
with blue eyes and blonde hair
i like the outdoors and animals and sports
i have 16 tattoos
just looking for someone to have fun with and hang out

i have 16 so far 7 on each arm and 2 on my chest dont know what to get next

I wonder there a cure for a broken heart
How could god create such a painful thing
Didn't he know what it feels like to have his heart broke
To be in love and find out your just a ghost to them
You had your chance to talk and to get to know her then it became to late
Funny my damn heart had to fall for a stranger
I asked it why now why her and got no answer
Just a feeling it don't matter everytime I near her I can't put words together I'm a total wreak and I never know what to do
My heart may be broken but it still belongs to her

here in the dark i am alone.
the darkness has become my home

as i sit here in the dark i can only think of her
dreaming of a love that wont ever be

she was my light in my dark world
But now its just dark without light

here i am in the dark

all the tears i have cried for her it took a little bit of light each day
with each day she took parts of my heart

I loved her like no man come but she never loved me

here i am in the dark

not all my heart break can keep me away
i want to have you all to myself

here in the dark i am alone.
the darkness has become my home

Just wish you would dance with me in the fires of hell my angel, but heaven would never allow such a thing to happen.

Opposites attract but they say us together isn't right yet I fight for the chance to be with you am I naive?

Do I wish upon false hope knowing the chances are slim to none of us flying away my angel.

Here I am lost in the fires of hell lusting for the love we once had and knew.

I hide neath the shadows staring upon the stars wondering if your setting upon one tonight.

Pondering the question how could an angel of the light, love a demon of the dark.

A heavenly angel love a demon of hell? Answer this love please I beg of you..

Since nor heaven nor hell will allow us to be together, can we love in secret my angel for forbidden love is of the essence and holding your hand I only feel the comfort of the serenity in the world our love weaves together

What is love
You can't find it in a book
There isn't a word to tell what it is
A song can't be sung about it
Not even all the poems I write do
Love is finally waking up from a dream
And seeing them next too you
Getting to kiss them each day just because you want too
Its looking into her eyes and see your reflection
Its whispering I love you in her ear
Holding her close as she cries and drying all her tears
Love is giving your heart to her so she knows how much you love her,trust her and that you are only hers
Love is wishing you love me to
I want you to be mine
Love is more then kisses,hugs and writing poems for her
Its having someone hold your heart
Its not the end
But its where it starts