Not so much as struggle, but chose to ignore... that radio station, Kfuq radio.

It might sound backwards, but don't worry about whether or not you have friends, but rather, concern yourself with the kind of friend you are. The rest takes care of itself, with time, and yea, somewhat regular exposure to society in one form or another. Start with the basic definition http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friendship , and instead again, of worrying about the results, learn do do your part, and expect that it sometimes takes years to form one real friendship. Since I've lived in this town, a total of 2 years 3 months and 1 day, I've been fortunate enough to have made 2 real friends, and of them, to love one of them deeply.

I should also add, more than a dozen were disasters in that same period, and were people I quickly learned to distance myself from.

So, not someone to ask marital advice from... check.

If he's saying it to you, he's probably a borderline type trying to demean you into submission. If BMI says you're normal, you're normal.

Jerry Springer
Steve Wilkos
The pyramids
Stonehenge
The natives of this town, and just about every small town in this state
Southern California, for the past 40 years
Grade point averages
The internet.

You can't force it, but you can acclimate him to your level, slowly. Ask someone to walk a mile for you, and they might do it, once. Ask for a walk around the block, and occasionaly veer left and right, noting his tolerance for change, and see where it goes. By far, I'm not even close to an expert, definitely more romantic than her, less guarded, and often more emotional.



For me, rocket science like matter is pretty much common place here, and old hat, as I design and build new machines on an almost daily basis, changing this and that, to suit my customers needs. Ask me how to encourage romance in the woman I love, now that's complicated, a dam* near unsolvable equation. How's this for irony. When she says, "You're still an a$$hole", I know for her it means she loves me. She's melting, and the regular installments of roses in both of our houses have helped heaps. Slowly, ever so slowly, change happens, if it's meant to. You could sense the vulnerablity when she appreciated my mushy text message comments to her, as a chink of her armor fell to the side. So yea, appreciate the little changes. They'll add up.

Love is rarely a balanced equation. There is no such thing as selfish love. That's bartering. Loving someone doesn't involve having a calculator or slide rule to make sure everything is even.

If I'm "loving" someone, I'm "giving", and often the words are interchangeable. Loving and taking are not.

Owned

As a society, we are NOT getting smarter. In fact, the reverse is true, masked only by the illusion created by technology. Greater minds than our own existed long before technology, with the only real difference being the lack of communication, and as a result, a lack of technological progress with no other brilliant minds to continue their efforts.

Almost 1 and 1/2 years ago, my last wife finally left. Almost 2 years ago to the day (12/17) we agreed that our marriage was over. She is one of two women I know I'll always love. As for anything in the future, that's non-existent.

By chance, I met someone a few days after she left, and didn't like her or her ghetto like attitude. Today, I know I'll always love her too, no matter how pissy I get about where we are sometimes. She's been a part of my life now for about a year and there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep her and her family safe and happy. What's especially different about this current interest is the apparent total lack of jealousy. It's probably because it's all too clear that I can't take any woman seriously except for her, no matter how hard I protest, hence, purgatory.

Bake a turkey and fixings for tomorrow for a woman I love and her youngest, acknowledge the lack of obvious future in my personal life, an extremely bright future for my business, and hope this is the last year I have to wait to start my family. So... Whateva.

I wouldn't be anyone other than who I am. My illness isn't a curse. It's a source of creativity, epiphany, and comic relief. As an inventor, well, I'm sure you can see its immediate advantages. As long as I don't mix this brain with alcohol, I wont qualify to be on the Jerry Springer show, so it's all good.

It's nothing special... Just today, and 2355 other days, mostly successful, less so if I'd drank any of those days.



1 in 30 alcoholics dies sober. The easier it's made for someone who is using, the higher the likelihood it will be a wasted venture. Jails, rehabs, detox facilities.... That's just part of the process. In the mean time, perhaps spending money any kids an addict has, housing them and keeping them away from their parents until they straighten up would be a better investment. even recently, I've seen a judge give parental rights back to a couple, and within a month, noted their housing in the local jail for child endangerment. Sympathy for the addict with kids is a luxury their children can't afford.


My own childhood was no playground, and it took 7 1/2 years for the government to notice. While I myself have recovered from that, many don't, and many repeat the lessons their parents taught them. That being said, perhaps giving their children an alternative view of what being in a happy family means, and when their parents are ready and grown up enough to re-assume their parental obligations...

I think your perspective is broken.

I'm not in any way saying jails and rehabs are good for an addict. They're more of an unfortunate necessity. Getting clean/sober, yea, that'd be a really good thing, and probably thinking about how much damage abusing drugs/alcohol causes, yea that'd be a good idea too. I've met many an alcoholic addict however, that used up every possible resource, and even then, died drunk. The key element, "used up". That's just about what it takes for any addict to get it. In the mean time, their kids suffer, their family suffers, and of course the addict suffers too.

Sober since 6/16/03.

Don't call them jail. Call them indigent detox facilities. I can't define anyone's level of tolerance for suffering from alcoholism or addiction except for my own, and placating the situations do nothing in the way of insuring recovery. In fact, I've met people in recovery who've used up all available resources for sobriety, and still, ultimately died drunk. On this point, I will say it is quite possible and common to kill an addict with kindness.

Finances have absolutely nothing to do with happiness. I know this simply because while my business has been extremely successful even through the recession, having no one to love and spoil made for a pyrrhic victory, and bitter irony. Thankfully, the dry spell has ended, with the added bonus of 4 people to spoil rotten, enjoying the bits and pieces of family life as they happen.

The only real suggestion that I have takes work on a daily basis. Take some time to think about some kind act you can do for someone under the 'just cause' clause. The rest will work itself out.

I am for choice, but would have liked to have been a part of that choice 20 years ago, as it was my only opportunity to be a natural father. She made that choice alone, and we only talked one other time, about 13 years later.

Lately, I'm grateful to be growing into a family of 4, albeit painfully slowly. Today was a really good day, starting the day with her and her baby girl, having candy fights, pillow fights, and good companionship. I'm still smiling.

Minor detail. All alcoholics will die an alcoholic. A few wont die an alcoholic death. If I drank today, I would get to the death part that much faster, because I now have the one thing that is the most dangerous of things an alcoholic could have... Success.

No, not really. As long as your mate has plenty of band-aids, it wont matter though.