I am flattered you read it 5 times. I am such a simple person.

I wonder, if, like myself, another also matches to the seasons

I am here, viewing the sunset, the trees will lose their leaves soon

The children are back in school, back to schedules and routines

A slower time, a quieter time comes

The hunting season comes

Of Olives and moss patterned clothing I got the tip off

The hunter, conditioned, re flexing the primal urge to stalk and take life

The crops are in, corn stalks and pumpkins and apple cider tints my world

In oranges, golds and reds, scents my world with spices rich and warm

I am walking in the woods, my feet, small, make little noise

I am the shade of ginger and pepper dapples moving over my back like clouds

I am strong, I have my head held high, I am alert, I am watching as I am stepping

I am smart, I am the prey with a human brain, I have many reasons in my satchel

What may seem crazy makes perfect sense to me, and if I ignored it, I would be

A doe in a field

I am a doe in a field, and the target is there

Even if those I tell it to do not see it

I am a doe in the field, and I know my hunter

Even if many don't believe it to be true

In this nature, I know his nature, and this is the likely time

Because, one cannot change the time of year, and he is an Atomic Clock



Tick Tock, the spring is fixed to release, the alarm is silent to all but me

And him, it is by nature that it is natural for him to fall into this autumn exercise,

To mistake the drive to harvest and fill bellies with the drive too insane

I am a doe in the field

My kill will result in empty places once occupied,

I am a doe in the field, alert

With words that form in my belly, my gut, I tell you

I am a doe in the field,

It is hunting season

I know this place

It is the same lighting, the evening sky

It is not cold outside, it is not cold inside

The sky bleeds into the inside

The volume is the same on the TV

The same as over 10 years ago, when, I

Sat all alone, in a trailer in Colorado

And the velvet blue sky bled into the room

I am content, like I was back then, when I was

Alone, but I am not alone now, and the trees

Whisper, like the breeze whispered years ago

When I was alone

It is the onset of fall, the hardest season of all

The time when cold freezes me, turns me to stone

And I get nothing done, but I have made something in the

Winter, I finished a life in the winter, gave birth in the winter

I remember a night like this, sitting in the dark, but for the

Light of the TV, and the sky bled into the room and cloaked me

I remember the holiday decorations I set around me, alone in my

Trailer, in Colorado, and I hold those same ornaments now

It is the hardest season of all, the cold season

It is the gateway to places never been, as I had never given life

Til that January night, when I bled, and gave birth, extending me

It is not so cold yet, but I can feel it coming

The hardest time of the year, the coldest time of the year, the time when

I could be scared stiff, and be frozen solid in a few months time

But this is the time of year, when the oven is hot, and the food is good

This is the time of year when the outdoors flow inside to say goodbye

For windows to be fastened shut, to draw hearts on frosted glass, to feel

Even if it is the bitter cold

There is such comfort in the familiar

I could say nothing at all, and turn it
On myself, or I can speak my heart and
Hurt someone else
It is so difficult to make the choice
To hurt or inflict, the conflict results
Always, in some manner of pain

I have been silent for over a decade
A decade, of blockades, the fallout shelter
Has not protected me, only made me
Live in a tomb, with thick walls, no windows
Hallow points on the wrong side, on my side
I made my choice, and my safety is really
Outside the bunker

I remember trying to irrigate a field
I dug a ditch in the direction I thought the water
Would flow, but
The water always went the other way
I studied and studied the dry earth, and watched
Thin trickles wiggle their way in a direction not
Expected, and I worked so hard

I work so hard at irrigation
I try to grow what is good and weed out the bad
But, I am not a farmer, I never learned how to
Work the fields, my water was always the rain
And it rained, unexpectedly

I am sorry if I hurt others and I am sorry
I hurt myself, but, as I cannot predict the flow
Of the water, I cannot predict what will be my
Future, can only hope what I love is with me
To make life flow, where draught has made me
Empty

you made me go "ha ha", seriously

That's sad :-(

I would take you to lunch. We could have pie!

Thank you Pam,
With any luck, October will be the month. <3

This loss and affection, simultaneously, I feel

Your separation from me, from not being together

Is very real, and I miss you, as if we have physically

Touched, but we have not, yet, I have yet to touch you

I study your every line, every shadow, every highlight on

Your smooth skin, and I know how you feel, how you feel

Under my finger tips, my warm and loving hands,

I love you

I have only a photograph, that stares back, you look into me

I am overcome with such a longing, when I return your gaze

You are my course, and I learn my course, eagerly, daily, hourly

With tears so wanting to be shed, I hold them, they are all I can hold

You are not here, and what love between us, so real, we cannot feel

Each other, only ourselves, we feel ourselves, our insides out

We love each other

I look at your picture, lovingly, as if you sit before me

As if you are in bed, laying under me, as if you close your eyes Inviting me

My kisses, I look at your picture lovingly, as if by magic, you can feel

Me leaning in to graze your cheek, your neck, your lips with my

Passion's breath, every breath given, has been given by you to me

We are a union of separation, that cannot be broken, we will be a

Union, never to be divided or parted,

We are a union, joined by what can only be spoken and written

Until our hands can lock together, our lips join together, our bodies

Make love with each other, for nothing less than forever

There is no such word strong enough to express

My love for you, Christopher

cut and paste if you dare see me on a Sunday morning before coffee:

http://youtu.be/sTG5A9D4qd4

Hello MOFW,
I like you too.
This is about being with a man who doesn't like eggs or cheese, 2 of my favorite things. So I was thinking, since I would give up eggs and cheese to be with him, what else would I give up.

In a nut-case shell. :-)

Thanks G,
I think you are the only one who "got" this.

Christopher is the best, how could I not write one of my best? <3
Thank you both. xxx

Mig, you are my most favorite critic;-)

By all that is bad, you are good
Let me not forget it.
While being held under in a place
Not intended for love
For all the bad, you are the good

In tones from lips so softly spoken
Pierce ears, once deaf, I listen
In still silence, I wear your promises
Like jewels, hanging, precious words dangling
I see you in my mirror

By all the bad, you are the good in me
In the works of mine, you save, you save me
I have a wanting, a desire to be placed in you
Where I may flow with you as you, live in you
As a river through your heart, as the breath in your lungs

With all the bad, you are the good, so desperately searched
With emptiness, you have made my past, let me never forget
What hurt became of me, becomes healed, as I flow through
You flow through me, our bodies rise and fall together
Our bodies blend together, braid together, grow together
My good, fleshed out by you

I will try not to be anxious anymore

It does no good to me or you

I will try not to try so hard, it is my bitter drink

That will invite me for a drink and score

To score the flesh and mourn



I will try not to try so hard, and remember

Remember what was and is so

So sorry and not so sorry, I walk

I walk and walk with legs, not tired

My feet find places my eyes can't see



I walk and walk and I will not tire

I will not tire, on this journey

What comes, is found in two

Two feet, two hearts, too many ways

Too many ways to screw things up, I have



Two of us, who is the other, I think I know

Only a pair if he consents so

So I walk a pace to my heart's racing

Racing, in time, will I find him in time?

Our train is coming, can we just jump on board?

Love?

People tell me to be careful, like I am not the one
To cause the hurt, to cause the trouble, to harm
Myself or others, I am told to be careful
But, are they careful of me? Am I careful of me?
Do I care for me? Really.

Seems like the vacancy, gets to me
Empty hallways, empty chairs, half set tables
Disturb me, the full pattern on the plate, not covered
By something tasty and filling, leaves my stomach
Growling, I am so hungry

It is as old as me, this heavy coat
The collar and sleeves frayed, from the rubbing
The wearing, the wearing down of me
This coat smells like me, on worst of my best days
The dried sweat of me

I could go places I shouldn't go, so I won't
I could give into those, but I won't
Still, nothing takes the place of this coat
My name stitched into the label, my hair shed, collected
On the shoulders, There is no shedding of this
Woven skin, this loneliness within

My lovely Liberator who made steps taken, easier
My feet, unsure, I am sure of you, My Love, My Liberator
I have been looking, a long, long, while, for you
From continent to continent, world to world, when you
Have been only as far as a coast to a coast, from my Mid
West coast, you are a man from Atlantic, my Man,
With sharp words, severing, by shock and daring, my Heart
Your clever words, kind voice, soft eyes, your Me, liberating
I think I will always be afraid, not of unknowns, because, until now
You were unknown to me, I will always be afraid, but you are here Now
With every anger, you temper me, temper tantrum, you cannot be
With me, soon, I will be running free, as free as you have already
Given me, in this place, no place for me, my Love, my Liberator
I am free, I am running, I am painting, I am drawing, I am recording
Your every, loving, giving deed

Mig, coffee, sometime

Most unsettling, this terrain, sub cranium

I am a terrarium, contained, my own ecosystem

But my ground is unsettling, sentiments accumulating

Like the sediment, finely, filling blemishes, has been

Fanned away, exposing, cracks that reach to the core of me

Most unsettling, this sediment emptying from my floor

Revealing a trap door, falling out from under me

Most unsettling, I hold my head and stomach

This motion sickness, terrifies me, dries my mouth and eyes

Most unsettling, this feeling, of lost control, finally lost

After finding, I am in a panic from feelings

Most unsettling, almost, upsetting, very changing, ground breaking

Heart breaking, could be in the making, heart draining, exciting

Most of all, unsettling

Do you like Braunschweiger?

It's OK if you don't, I could live without it

Do you like knockwurst and sauerkraut?

It's OK if you don't, I could sneak it

Do you like peach pie?

Please God, let him like peach pie...

Any kind of pie, I would suffer to live without

But I could do it, I guess..

Do you like me? I hope you do,

I totally could not live without you

I really wish I wouldn't see stars when I write. **** in ****