Community > Posts By > Vivek

 
Vivek's photo
Sat 10/16/21 07:20 PM
Trust a woman to use a practical approach . Much better than using nose or foot size 🤤 :laughing: :laughing:

:smile::smile:

Vivek's photo
Sat 10/16/21 07:15 PM
Because women don't get hit by the 'big hammer' often - as Roy mentioned;
maybe it takes hammer to release those hormones.

:joy::joy:

Vivek's photo
Sat 09/25/21 08:35 AM
552

Vivek's photo
Sat 09/25/21 08:33 AM
551

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:41 AM
Three men are lost in the desert. They are just on the point of death when they stumble across the recently expired body of a camel.

They look at each other and look at the dead camel - none of them have eaten for days.

The first man, a scouser, spoke up. I support Liverpool; so I will eat the liver
The second man, a scot, then said "I support Hearts so I will eat the heart
The third man, a Londoner, stood still for a few seconds before saying
"I support Arsenal - and I'm not hungry!"

🤣🤣🤣 Literally nailed it

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:39 AM
I went to a really emotional wedding the other day.
Even the cake was in tiers.

:smile: Good one

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:38 AM
Son: "Dad. I've got a part in the school play, I play a man who's been married for 25 years."

Dad: "That's good, maybe next time you'll get a speaking part."

:laughing::laughing:

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:36 AM
🤣

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:32 AM
:laughing: Needs to replan

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 09:31 AM
:joy::joy:

Vivek's photo
Mon 09/20/21 07:16 AM
:blush::blush:

Vivek's photo
Sun 09/19/21 06:28 AM
716

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:21 PM
Hi....

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:20 PM
and probably you gonna maintaince the status quo... if your incomplete profile is anything to go by ....


welcome to M2

Can you help me out with my profile. As I also have the same problem.

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:16 PM
is this bad I'm a teacher but attracted to younger guys 18 to 24?

It's fine to have such feelings but as a teacher it is not supposed to be the thing.

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:05 PM
:sweat_smile:

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:04 PM
The Husband Store


A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband.. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.







PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street..

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.

🤣🤣 Lovely. Made my day.

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 09:01 PM
A girl at a bus stop spotted a handsome man and without hesitating, she went to him and said.... "you look cute, I like you" the man out of shock simply placed his hand on her shoulders and said my dear, this love and infatuation are all nothing, you're too young to be behaving like this. please go home and study hard so that you can have a successful life he then placed a piece of paper on her hand and said... I have written some words of wisdom and religious verses for you, read them before you go to sleep. God loves you. and he walks away, she went back to her hustle in shame and guilt before she sleeps she opened the paper and read and it was.... are you blind? my wife was standing behind me.

this is my number, call me. anyway I love you too.:ok_woman::ok_woman:

🤣🤣 The ending was..... An absolute magic :joy:

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 08:56 PM
The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replies,
I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?º°'°º?o,,,,o?º°'°º?o?

This is the best one.
A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a
bedtime story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to
touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek,
then his again.
Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
at it, isn't he ?"

:joy::grin::grinning::stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

:joy::joy: First one was damn cute and satirical

Vivek's photo
Fri 09/17/21 08:54 PM
A woman is at home when she hears someone knocking at her door.
She goes to the door, opens it and sees a man standing there.
He asks the lady, “Do you have a Vagina?”
She slams the door in disgust.
The next morning she hears a knock at the door, it's the same man and he asks the same question to the woman, “Do you have a Vagina?”
She slams the door again.
Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.
The husband tells his wife in a loving and concerned voice, “Honey, I am taking an off tomorrow so as to be home, just in case this guy shows up again.”
The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both ran for the door.
The husband whisperes to the wife, “Honey, im going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the
question because I want to a see where he’s going with this.”
She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there, he asks, “Do you have a Vagina?”
“Yes I do.” says the lady.
The man replies, “Good, would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife’s alone and start using yours":laughing::laughing::laughing::laughing::scream:

🤣🤣 Plot twist..... :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

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