Thanks for the kind words, polypeasant (hope I spelled that right).

We've done the counseling thing, several times. And we've talked, and talked, and talked, and then talked some more. Fact is, she wants to stay married to me. And she doesn't want sex, except VERY rarely she will reluctantly agree when I beg and plead with her. She just isn't interested in sex anymore, with me or with anyone else.

Yep, I like being married, too. I'm comfortable with that lifestyle. And I don't WANT to divorce her, mainly because I don't know how she would support herself, here or even back home (where she's from, quite a ways from here). Also because I like being with her! We're pretty good friends, most of the time -- except when she's being angry and/or mean to me and/or my friends.

Yeah, I'm in kind of a pickle, huh? Damned if I do and damned if I don't.

I KNOW there are married women out there who are in sexless (sometimes, also loveless) marriages who have thought about finding an outside lover just to meet their physical needs, not to mention to help increase their feelings of desirability. So, where ARE they? Haven't found any yet, on this or any other dating web sites. I HAVE found lots of gold-diggers, and young women seeking "generous" men. I suppose that's true of some women of all ages, everywhere. But the only married women I've found are those seeking an "extra" male for a threesome with their husband. Uh, no, I don't think so. I've been with two women at once, but it freaks me out to think about being in bed with a woman and another man.

No, there are no children of this marriage. We both have kids by our first marriages, but they are all grown and gone and have their own kids. So, thankfully, that's not a consideration.

After one failed marriage which I stuck with for TOO long, making futile attempts to "make it work," I'm not eager to give up on this one.

But, dammit, I want to get LAID once in a while!

I agree with both of you, musicchic and polypeasant: better to find out what went wrong, try to work it out. Did that with my first marriage, hung in there for 18 years, the last 8 of which were pretty miserable for both of us. We finally decided that we had grown, but in different directions. So we split up. We're still amicable, no bitterness there.

After being single for 14 years, I finally met a woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Dated for over 3 years! (Second time around for her, too, and she had been single longer than me.) So, we were both understandably cautious.

Reminds me of the old joke: what food does a woman eat that decreases her sex drive 90%? Answer: wedding cake! Oh, boy, was that joke TRUE in our case! I didn't even "get any" on our wedding night! Where we had been making love every night, suddenly it was maybe once a week. That soon changed to once every two weeks, and then once a month. For the last two years, it's been once every 2 or 3 months. Yes, we've talked about it, went to counseling, been checked out physically by doctors, etc., etc. The fact is, she's let herself go, quit exercising, got fat, and just doesn't care if she ever has sex again. Me? I haven't changed, not one whit. I still love her (foolish, huh?). I don't give up easy. I still make romantic efforts, try to seduce her, but she just isn't interested. Masturbation is more exciting!

Like Ron White said, "Now I'm a pretty good dog, but if you don't pet me once in a while, how do you expect me to stay on the porch?"

No, I don't want to "throw her away." We have a lot in common, and do enjoy each other's company. Fact is, both of us would rather be married and living together than to be single again and living alone. She just decided that she really didn't want to have sex again, EVER. So, where does that leave ME? Kind of in a pickle, huh? SHE voluntarily stated, "I don't care if you have a girlfriend, I just don't want to know about it."

Lately, though, she's become more critical, mean to me AND to my (male) friends, more judgmental, less tolerant, less understanding, more and more nagging ..... It's almost like she WANTS me to leave her. When confronted she claims, "I love you!" Yeah, right, she sure doesn't do anything to show it.

Before you get too judgmental on me, remember that it takes two to tangle. Yes, a relationship should be two ways, equal amounts of give and take. I give 95% and get MAYBE 5.

I've almost talked myself into leaving her, several times. But she doesn't work, and couldn't HOPE to support herself in the style to which she's become accustomed -- I'm the sole breadwinner. I just can't be that mean to her.

O.K., what other options are there for me?

Don't judge another until you've walked a mile in his shoes.

I've dated women as much as 21 years younger and up to 7 years older than me.

When you're 56 and STILL seeking passion, it becomes more difficult. MUCH more difficult than 10 years ago. Maybe it's because most women my age are post-menopausal and have lost all interest in sex? And/or have given up on romance?

I work with a lot of young ladies in their late teens and twenties, and they ARE refreshing! But they are SO naive! I find myself often offering them "fatherly" advice, just because I care about them and don't want them to make foolish mistakes. The young ladies (and guys, too) help me to continue feeling young! There are SO many things they don't know, and haven't done yet. And a lot of old jokes they haven't heard! LOL! It's nice to always have an appreciative audience for my humor!

Yeah, I'm married -- but looking. My wife has become more and more of a selfish, controlling NAG. Not to mention that she's gained a LOT of weight and COMPLETELY lost interest in sex. She said that I could have a girlfriend but she doesn't want to know about it. O.K., if that's how she wants to be -- but she might get REPLACED! Don't know if I want to think about marriage again, though -- what's in it for ME? Not with another gal like HER, anyway.

O.K., I digressed. Sorry. We're discussing dating younger people. I have to say, the young gals are a LOT of fun, there's a LOT they can be taught, they are (usually) more passionate and enthusiastic -- but then, what are you going to talk about when you're not busy pleasing each other? Seriously.

Better to enjoy the company of someone closer to my age, say, 5 to 10 years either way. Someone who enjoys the same things I do, and has common interests.