Tis sad to think,
there are so many-
desiring love,
yet so afraid-
TO BE...
To find that love in self,
is the opening of that door-
locked no more,
for others eyes,
the mirror will fore tell...
to be...
Becomming one takes truth,
honesty above reproach,,,
and faith beyond
beleifs-
some time to mold the clays
of life-
the pleasures will unfold,
to make you happy
once again,,,
tis but...
TO BE.

I see your still writting about me girl...
Have to pick up those peices every day sometimes...
sometimes its quiet and I don't have tooooooooo...

you always seem right on the mark...me

the new day ALWAYS brings new surpises when we least expect them... be
prepared for life and its excitement....

God alone decided that Beka had suffered enough...I know that she
wouldn't have gone from us, otherwise...She saw far beyond the sight of
a young person, and wrote more love and wisdom than I have heard in
years...and while I was never there to see, I know her eyes sparkled far
brighter than the stars...her heart was pure and she brought peace to
all she came in contact with...That I will miss her, never, for when we
remember her with love, she is not missed...Fly angel and be at peace
with God and we will see each other again someday...when I can come home
too.........Shad

Glad that your trying to find something out for us all...
shadow and I'll be checking in from time to time to find out how things
are going....Your all in my prayers tonight and I too feel that she is
fighting to come back to us....

It is so easy,
to think all is well-
deep in the jungle
of the man that is...
deceived in self
I made me beleive,
again and again-
by lying to me.
I painted the picture,
so rosey and bright
no troubles there
were, but we always fight,
who's in control
Not I,
not I
by lying to me.
Love was the answer,
denied once agin-
alone in this room,
I think
and con
and beg
and plead,
and in the end-
still lying to me.
It isn't love,
so much as a friend-
to tell me the truth
what they see I am,
the maybes and someday
I'm sure will come,
its all in the dreams-
and still lying to me.

I always get the feeling that your writting ME

feels good inside to know I'm not alone in this space

keep em comming, there is a SOMEDAY for everyone.

LOVE CAN BE:
whatever truths you see and feel for your FRIEND, For in friend ship lie
the foundation for everything you want to share, truths are written not
in stone but in the heart, tender and gentle with each other...its the
worry inbad weather and in the best of times, and if there is one word
to describe it...love is COMPLETENESS between two people, and their
world is secure.

Last night,
I listened to the wind
buffeting the trailer-
howling through the cracks
and it accented my aloneness.
Today,
the rain washed away
the dust-
cleaning things so to speak,
but did nothing to dull
the ache inside.
The more steps I take
to change this-
I am still in
my aloneness and confused,
bt rejection
into hopes,
that this time will be-
different once again,
and
I still listen to the wind.

Sounds like your heart is with the wind this morning.
Is some what like mine but no rocker
Keep it up and many kudos for that one.

wELL DONE MY DEAR, lIKE TALKING TO THE WIND ITS OUT THERE UNTIL THOSE
WORDS FIND A HEART TO REST IN.

Its 2 am again,
here
beside the phone-
the crazies have returned,
syphoning my
strength and wonder
If I'll be able to answer-
just to say I'm sorry,
and please come home.
You left in such
a rush,
tears there were none-
cold stare as though
I were the one -
who decided to leave
and now confussion,
bare as the artic
my heart is cold-
and...with fear,
waiting for you again...
so please come home.
I kick and cuss
but it does no good-
I have no answers
to ease this pain,
my tears are real-
they cry in my heart
I'm here by the phone,
just to say I'm sorry
so please come home.

Be thankful you could write about it so well,
brought a tear to my eye and a hold on my heart as well.
I can't pick your peices up and glue them back together,just ran out of
the stuff, been shattered myself.

That was right on again, and there is a lot of depth in your words. Keep
it up and never never fear the path your on, it will lead to brighter
lights and happiness inside.

Complications do exsist,
because we are-
thethered in a web,
mostly caught
in self deceit,
and try to find
some
long sought after,
brief peace-
denied by
the hands of
women's demands...
closed minds
do not forgive,
the past forgotten
by the self,
but brought to light
be ignorances hand....
Forgiveness is a word,
lost in laws demand-
no rightous
thoughts,
alone we live-
not simple
but lost
and forgotten-
in this timeless
land....
Hell froze over-
centuries ago
and everything is lost
to the complicated man.

Lifes haze is,
the needle in my
arm,
promising releif-
through
goofballs,
8balls-
pruple haze and
laguna sunshine,
white double domes
and
candy coated coke...
jaundiced dreams
and
fucked by the
needle in my arm,
stoned beyond beleif
and wanting only
oblivion's demand,
releif from life,
and seeking death
eternaly damned...
who gives a shit,
the selfish me
who wants and wants,
and swims in
the bottom of a bottle,
still the haze persists-
another day
another fix,
who is there
to really give a shit.

NOW THAT IS TRUTH GALORE, BUT IT IS REAL TO THOSE WHO KNOW AND SO MUCH
MORE.

Thankyou My Lady; Tis the heart of a humble Knight that has a battle
with reality, one which has not been won quite yet.

I am the man,
who cilmbs
the mountain-
and from its summit,
calls your name
each morning,
and waits here
for your reply,
stoic and in
one's own
heart;
Knows his truths,
beyond the feilds that-
seperates the
souls of dreams...
Lost not in fantasies,
or other myths-
pained only in time,
I am not allowed
to voice,
pains me deep-
and in repose,
does see
a miracle appear,
as silient words
arrive
to touch my mind
again,
and know I am alive
this day,
to desend and to reply-
in truth,
for,
I have missed you...
OH!
This long weekend.

I have been
to the
cand store-
read every label,
yes, and checked
the price-
I am the kid
with a quarter-
looking at $30
Candy,
wondering-
why the
price
of love,
is always
beyond my
reach.
Gift wrapped,
Sexy ads-
the come on's
and try me-
are the lonely
fantasies,
and still
I look;
Wishing.