Community > Posts By > Adami619

 
Adami619's photo
Sun 11/10/13 06:53 AM
I'm not saying that we don't have fun or anything like that I mean we go out cinema eating and all the rest of it. It's just these few little problems and I'm sure once they are out the way things will be perfect once again. Of course I respect her why wouldont I?

Adami619's photo
Sun 11/10/13 12:19 AM



As I recall, you did actually like the advice that I gave you the last time that you posted about this girl, so here goes.

I've been in a similar situation with an ex that didn't introduce me to her family and didn't exactly shout it from the rooftops that we were together. It hurts. I've talked to her since and she said that she was like that because she couldn't see a future in it. Could be the same with your girl and if I recall, this was the one that didn't mind other guys coming on to her and asking her for blowjobs.

It's a bit like trying to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted but it really doesn't sound as if this girl wants to get as serious as you do and if you get too wrapped up in her she's likely to break your heart. Go with the other girls I say. Why the f**k not? You're a really young guy and this girl isn't making you happy. She may do if she ever gets her act together but a relationship won't work when only one of you really wants it to and is trying to make it work.

Stop thinking about it as such a big serious thing. You have years to find someone that's right for you and that doesn't mean that you can't keep seeing her. Just means that you shouldn't put up with being treated badly and you've got to lay it on the line to her. Say that you love her but you don't like the way that it's been going and things have got to change. Yes folks, that's right, I said the C word. Shoot me.


But like when I see her she's all over me and she says she loves me, she says she still really wants to give It another go and then when she found out I was going on holiday she wouldont stop crying because she's scared that I'm going to get with other girls and I know she loves my family to bits.


and apparently she has good cause to be concerned about this from what you stated in the OP.

I know I would not date someone with your attitude abour cheating, but apparently she's willing to give you a chance. perhaps if you can keep you zipper up while you are gone she will feel that she's found someone worthy to take into her parents home.

she may be avoiding taking you to see her folks until she's sure you are worth it (with respect to RESPECT). ya never know, her parents may be discouraging her from seeing you. which after reading the OP, I would certainly discourage my daughter from seeing you. feeling unappreciated is no excuse for cheating. that's pretty immature, really.

To me, that's the first issue to resolve. you can't blame your willingness to cheat on how she treats you. you have to make the decision that you are not the kind of person who will behave that way irrespective of what anyone else is doing....jmho

good luck and chin up..all in all I am betting you are a good person at heart :)


Can you explain to me how is it cheating if we arnt in an realsonship :/

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 01:47 PM



As I recall, you did actually like the advice that I gave you the last time that you posted about this girl, so here goes.

I've been in a similar situation with an ex that didn't introduce me to her family and didn't exactly shout it from the rooftops that we were together. It hurts. I've talked to her since and she said that she was like that because she couldn't see a future in it. Could be the same with your girl and if I recall, this was the one that didn't mind other guys coming on to her and asking her for blowjobs.

It's a bit like trying to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted but it really doesn't sound as if this girl wants to get as serious as you do and if you get too wrapped up in her she's likely to break your heart. Go with the other girls I say. Why the f**k not? You're a really young guy and this girl isn't making you happy. She may do if she ever gets her act together but a relationship won't work when only one of you really wants it to and is trying to make it work.

Stop thinking about it as such a big serious thing. You have years to find someone that's right for you and that doesn't mean that you can't keep seeing her. Just means that you shouldn't put up with being treated badly and you've got to lay it on the line to her. Say that you love her but you don't like the way that it's been going and things have got to change. Yes folks, that's right, I said the C word. Shoot me.


But like when I see her she's all over me and she says she loves me, she says she still really wants to give It another go and then when she found out I was going on holiday she wouldont stop crying because she's scared that I'm going to get with other girls and I know she loves my family to bits.


Look, I don't know this girl and we can only go on what you say about her and it seems to me that a lot of what you do say about her is said in anger. If you say that when you see each other she's all over you and tells you that she loves you that's good if she isn't just playing you. It's not necessarily a bad thing that she hasn't told her parents. She probably slagged you off to them when you broke up with her before and they are going to have a low opinion of anyone that they think hurt their little girl and they would take sides and tell her not to get back with you I guess.

If you're going on a lads holiday and she doesn't trust you though that's her problem. Could be that she cheated on you and thinks that you would do the same to her.

Like I said to you before, it's entirely up to you if you think that this girl is worth fighting for but even if you aren't going to tell her that she's the one that has to change, you need to talk to her properly and not just let her emotionally blackmail you, or be all over you every time you see each other instead of sitting down and talking properly before you do that. I never have girlfriends getting jealous like that with me. With me it's the opposite and they tell me that I'm the one that wants to get too serious. Personally, I think that's a load of bollocks and it's just that they lead me on and run away when it gets too real for them.

The thing is, women tend to like romance and they will tell you that they want you to be romantic and to make them feel special but a lot of them are not too big on commitment when it comes down to it. Just be careful that she doesn't play you because she may be all over you and telling you that she loves you but she may not really know what she wants and I do think that from what you've said about her, she cares a bit too much about what her friends or family think.


Oh your totally right she does care about what her family think way to much. However even though I love Stephanie with all of my heart I'm just worried that when I go away on holiday that I might actually meet a girl who even for short space of time treats me the way that I should be treated you know. I've told Stephanie how I feel devalued and unappreciated and unwanted and so on and so forth however she always responds by saying I don't know how to show you that I love you I just do. Baring in mind she's most defiantly not the sharpest tool in the box.

I'm just getting to a point where I don't know what to do I've even considered stop sleeping with her and not letting her come to my house however surely that would just be a step backwards?

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 01:00 PM

As I recall, you did actually like the advice that I gave you the last time that you posted about this girl, so here goes.

I've been in a similar situation with an ex that didn't introduce me to her family and didn't exactly shout it from the rooftops that we were together. It hurts. I've talked to her since and she said that she was like that because she couldn't see a future in it. Could be the same with your girl and if I recall, this was the one that didn't mind other guys coming on to her and asking her for blowjobs.

It's a bit like trying to shut the stable door after the horse has bolted but it really doesn't sound as if this girl wants to get as serious as you do and if you get too wrapped up in her she's likely to break your heart. Go with the other girls I say. Why the f**k not? You're a really young guy and this girl isn't making you happy. She may do if she ever gets her act together but a relationship won't work when only one of you really wants it to and is trying to make it work.

Stop thinking about it as such a big serious thing. You have years to find someone that's right for you and that doesn't mean that you can't keep seeing her. Just means that you shouldn't put up with being treated badly and you've got to lay it on the line to her. Say that you love her but you don't like the way that it's been going and things have got to change. Yes folks, that's right, I said the C word. Shoot me.


But like when I see her she's all over me and she says she loves me, she says she still really wants to give It another go and then when she found out I was going on holiday she wouldont stop crying because she's scared that I'm going to get with other girls and I know she loves my family to bits.

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:36 PM
Hey guys I'm going to fuerteventura, from the 18th-30th December this year and was wondering if anyone fancied meeting up out there? :)

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:32 PM



Sounds like you are in a chronically abusive relationship. If you stay in it you will have a really miserable life. Drop this like a hot rock, get in a group of healthy young people and it will be easier not to get lonely and get sucked back into this.


Abusive is totally the wrong word


Which is exactly why I was hesitant to give you any advice, you're not willing to listen. "Abusive is totally the wrong word." What word would you use for someone treating you like ****? "I believe she really does love me." Based on what? Nothing you've told us about this woman leads me to believe she loves you or anyone else. She sounds selfish and manipulative.

You're making excuses for this person, which is what abused people do. After a while, you can no longer blame the other person for their actions, when you keep putting up with it and making excuses for them. Like I said, I don't know why you keep asking for advice, you're not going to listen; you want this woman, for whatever reason, and she knows it. That's why she treats you this way. She knows that no matter what she does to you, you're going to take it.

When you decide to value yourself over her, that's when you'll accept that she is abusing you and you'll stop putting up with it. Until then, there is nothing anyone can do for you. We can "advise" you until we're blue in the face, but you are unwilling to see her for what she is.

I'm off this thread, I get frustrated when people are willing to let other people hurt them, in the name of "love." Love doesn't hurt. Ever.

That's all I'm saying. Good luck to you. I'm out.


Near enough everything you said was true then, however if you honestly believe that love dosont hurt then you obviously haven't been in love before. And just because I hadn't taken your advice previously on another thread about Stephanie dosont mean that I wouldont this time, I mean why would I be back on here if I wasn't looking to listen to any bodies optiouns it dosont make any sense.

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:28 PM

Based on what you've told us about this situation, I wouldn't even be talking to her. She doesn't sound trustworthy. She doesn't sound mature. She sounds like she's playing games. And you're letting her do this. You're letting your feelings about her cloud your judgement. When someone loves you they don't treat you like ****, and if they do, they apologize, make amends, and stop the shitty behavior.

There is no way in the hell I'd be willing to be anyone's secret. If she wants to date you or whatever, she should be woman enough to admit it to whoever asks and stand by her decision. What she's saying is, the opinion of her parents means more to her than her relationship with you, whatever that even is, whether you're just friends, or getting back together.

I wouldn't put up with that. Children value their parent's opinions about what they do, not adults. I would walk away from her, and on my way out of the door, I'd tell her when she's ready to be an adult, when she knows exactly what she wants, and when she's ready to treat me like she'd want to be treated, with dignity and respect, to give me a call. Until then, I'd tell her to leave me the **** alone.

But that's just me.


What she's saying is, the opinion of her parents means more to her than her relationship with you, whatever that even is, whether you're just friends, or getting back together.

I totally understand what your saying however I feel like I've lost everyone one, my friends won't even talk to me now because I'm still communicating with her and it just feels like she's the only thing I've got left. What you have to understand is that I'm in love and it's easy to sit back and say oh I'd say this and I'd say that but when your emotionally involved in a situation with somebody that you've had a decent past with it really Isent as easy as that. I just hate being away from her because I just feel totally miserable, however this situation Isent making me happy either. Although I love seeing her and spending time with her this whole parent thing has to stop and I'm aware of that, however she was like oh I'll tell them this week once we've moved and now she's saying oh when the time is right. I'm not being funny and I told her this earlier that when I go on holiday I'm going to do me, she can't expect me just to hang around and wait for her to tell her parents.

Do you ever get that feeling in your body that you know what ever your going throughn well it would work out in the end? This is what I'm going through but I just don't know when the end is

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:20 PM

Sounds like you are in a chronically abusive relationship. If you stay in it you will have a really miserable life. Drop this like a hot rock, get in a group of healthy young people and it will be easier not to get lonely and get sucked back into this.


Abusive is totally the wrong word

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:15 PM

Not just the men.. Where are all the decent ppl in the world GONE!?


So true

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:12 PM
Just because someone's asking for advice dosont nessecarlly mean that they are going to accept it however, I'm asking what would you do if you was emotionally involved in my situation.

Adami619's photo
Sat 11/09/13 12:04 PM
So me and my ex partner have had discussions about us getting back together as we both claim to love eachother however, I'm going away on holiday for nearly twos weeks however she's asked me to come back on the 30th December as she's going up to London news eve and she wants me to go with her so I've arranged to come back on the 30th and she's cool with that however she's really worried that I'm going to be getting with other girls and I feel like I might aswell because she makes me feel unappreciated, unwanted and it's like she's ashamed of me because like she'll come to mine and we will have sex, have a laugh have a cuddle and she'll even spend time with my parents but she's totally against her parents knowing that we are getting back together and it hurts me so much because her family were like my family the first time around because I don't have a close realsonship with my family.

And for them not to know that we are getting back together is really destroying me, it's like she's happy with what she's got because she's got my family back which she loves, she's got me obviously I love the girl to death but she can't seem to understand how much this is hurting me, she can't seem to see past her own emotions. And I feel like why is it such a big deal I mean the realsonship is between two people and no more then that

Please help, I need some advice.

Adami619's photo
Thu 10/17/13 11:48 AM
I just want to make this perfectly clear to everyone that a baby with her and a mortgage at this stage is totally out of the question!!! Btw twatstrad I really appreciate your comment

Adami619's photo
Tue 10/15/13 07:22 AM
I believe I could find someone else however I'm sure that there's still something there

Adami619's photo
Sun 10/13/13 01:39 PM
I believe though that she does still love me

Adami619's photo
Sun 10/13/13 01:33 PM
She said she ended it because apparently we argued quite abit at one stage

Adami619's photo
Sun 10/13/13 01:17 PM
Guys I really need some advise I'm really not sure what to do anymore because Stephanie is saying like that she loves me but she's not in love with me but on the other hand she's saying that she's so glad that I fought for our realsonship and that I fought for us and that I didont give up on her. However she says and I can tell that she's really confused and that her emotions are all over the place however she has started coming back round to my house whilst my parents are away but she's looking forward to seeing them again I really don't know what to do.
I feel as if I shouldn't give up now because at one stage she wouldont reply to my messages and just wouldont talk to me however now I've got her back to my place we are talking everyday via email and we are meeting up and we are going out and we are having sex but is this the right thing to be doing. I'm so madly in love with her and we were at one stage saving up for a mortgage and planning on having a baby together



PLEASE HELP IM DESPERATE

Adami619's photo
Sun 10/13/13 01:16 PM
Guys I really need some advise I'm really not sure what to do anymore because Stephanie is saying like that she loves me but she's not in love with me but on the other hand she's saying that she's so glad that I fought for our realsonship and that I fought for us and that I didont give up on her. However she says and I can tell that she's really confused and that her emotions are all over the place however she has started coming back round to my house whilst my parents are away but she's looking forward to seeing them again I really don't know what to do.
I feel as if I shouldn't give up now because at one stage she wouldont reply to my messages and just wouldont talk to me however now I've got her back to my place we are talking everyday via email and we are meeting up and we are going out and we are having sex but is this the right thing to be doing. I'm so madly in love with her and we were at one stage saving up for a mortgage and planning on having a baby together



PLEASE HELP IM DESPERATE

Adami619's photo
Sat 09/28/13 11:23 AM
She finished it with me, just thought I'd give you the updat

Adami619's photo
Fri 09/06/13 01:17 PM
Agreed

Adami619's photo
Fri 09/06/13 01:17 PM
Oh dude shut up it was a joke

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