eeewww LOL

"Hey Sarge, I think we found the rest of that arm."

LMAO

"I asked Sarge for a little p*ssy. The next day he brought you here."

(I LOVE DOOM)

"Now you are going to tell me just what the f*ck is going on up here!!!"
Doom

Mine are

Desolation
Hunting
Darkness
Trains planes...
Faith

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming." Dory, (Ellen) Finding Nemo


"Shark Bait, ooh ha ha." Fish in the aquarium- Finding Nemo
(I use that all the time, LMAO)

"You won't catch me dyin. They'll have to kill me before I die."
Yellowbeard

"When I find the six fingered man, I've already planned what I am going
to say to him. 'Hello, my name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father,
prepare to die'." Princess Bride

"My name's Glenn, guess how many fingers I have." The Ringer

LOL

LMMFAO-too funny!

What do you call a gay dinosaur????





Mega-sore-*ss

Oldie but still funny.....


A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead are all pregnant. They all go to the
doctor to have see what the sex of their baby's are going to be. The
brunette goes into the doctor's office and comes out a few minutes
later, she says, "I'm having a girl.". The redhead, confused, asks, "How
do you know?". And the brunette says, "I was on bottom." The redhead
goes in and comes out a few minutes later and says, "I'm having a boy."
The brunette asks, "Well, how do you know?" and the redhead says, "I was
on top." All of a sudden, the blonde starts crying hysterically and the
brunette and redhead ask her what's wrong, the blonde looks up with
tears in her eyes and screams, "I did it doggy style and now I'm afraid
I am going to have a litter!"

"I can say meow, I can say moo. For 20 bucks I'll call the guy a
chicken f*cker.........License and registration....CHICKEN F*CKER!!!!!!"
Super Troopers


LMAO

Yeah, I am still rotflmao! Too f'in funny!

roflmao!!!! Thanks!!

"We're driving to Mexico in ten minutes. Stop drinking or you'll get an
IUD." The Whole Ten Yards

"Why is it that every time you get scared somebody gets hit with a desk
lamp?!?" Screwed, Norm Mcdoanld and Dave Chapelle

How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
lights and darks.


Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do
more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.


Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,
wide loofah and pumice stone.


Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added
vitamins.


Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real
passion fruit.


Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until
red.


Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.


Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.


Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.


Dry with towel the size of a small country.


Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.


If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.



How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in
a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo'
sound.


Look at your manly physique in the mirror.


Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.


Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits.


Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.


Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.


Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.


Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk. Pee.


Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.


Dry off forearms and butt only.


Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the
whole time.


Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.


Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.


Return to bedroom with towel around waist.


If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the
woo-woo' sound again.


Throw wet towel on bed.

Red, you are just pissed because once again the Winers did not make it.
LOL Sucks for you huh? Just givin you a hard time.....but they still
did not make it lol.

Good morning everyone! How is life treating you this new year? And to
the tea drinkers, have you ever tried Sleepy Time Tea

So, did anyone get to see the *ss whoppin that the put on the Titans
yesterday. Wasn't it great???!?

Ooh yeah, Red, I am proud to say that I was proud of your Niners
yesterday. I will give credit where credit is due and they did great
beating the Broncos. Good job Niners!