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Community > Posts By > TexasScoundrel
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Topic:
Are you ready to confess...
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I started posting in these forums when I had a job doing nothing. I was a security guard at a film studio and there was no one in the building but me all night. It was a way to pass the time. Now, I'm out here driving a truck all over the USA and never get to see my close friends. So, it allows me to fool myself into believing I have a social life. Aaaawww, scoundrel, that's cool... you get to see the country... okay, so you get to see the country's highways..  but still... you have to admit it's nice to have your Mingle family here waiting for your company when you return... cuz we miss regular members when they're gone... you know that... BTW... it's good to see you here...  Thanks, but I don't think I'd be missed if I stopped posting. I'm just a little too radical. c'mon radical... ooops... I mean, Scoundrel... lol... I think I fall into that category too... hehehehe... miss me, hell, at one time they were trying to run me off one site claiming I was just fronting... but I hung in there, and eventually they knew I'm for real... I know I'm a freak... the way I view life and my personal relationships sometimes disturbs people because they can't identify... but that's cool... cuz I don't understand their choices either... but I like to compare our differences and I even learn from theirs, incorporating some things I've picked up into my own experience... after all, I can't grow as a person if I don't keep my mind open... That's exactly how I feel about it. Sometimes I'll post things hoping someone will change my mind. I sometimes wonder if I'm too cynical about love and relationships. |
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Topic:
How important is a home?
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When you meet someone, how important are their living conditions? Does it matter is they live in a poor neighborhood? Or in a tiny or apartment? What about someone that lived in a trailer far away from city noise? Or someone that lived in a lavish downtown loft? Does this have an effect on your choice of taking the relationship to the next level?
What kind of home do you see yourself living in with that special someone? Being a simple man, I have a strong preference for very small, one room apartments and always have. If I live in a larger space I find that the space itself gets in my way. I like everything to be within my reach, all the time. |
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Topic:
Men
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Glad you found yet another reason men use women. Now why was it women can't use you???  Another reason that men . . .  Congratulations! You read into my statement something that I did not say and did not mean. Yeah, that happens to me too. You hush,... and go back to your cage before I get the hose.  Thanks, but I already have a hose. |
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Topic:
women and tattoos?
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I was a tattooist for 16 years and owned my own shop for most of that time. I don't mind tattoos on women as long as they're good quality tattoos. Many young ladies foolishly will get a tattoo from some creep that will do the work for free, but not really know what he's doing. So, that tattoos aren't good quality. When I've tried to suggest that they actually pay for a decent artist, they look at me like I'm from another planet.
Tattoos are like everything else, you get what you pay for. |
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Topic:
Are you ready to confess...
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I started posting in these forums when I had a job doing nothing. I was a security guard at a film studio and there was no one in the building but me all night. It was a way to pass the time. Now, I'm out here driving a truck all over the USA and never get to see my close friends. So, it allows me to fool myself into believing I have a social life. Aaaawww, scoundrel, that's cool... you get to see the country... okay, so you get to see the country's highways.. but still... you have to admit it's nice to have your Mingle family here waiting for your company when you return... cuz we miss regular members when they're gone... you know that... BTW... it's good to see you here... Thanks, but I don't think I'd be missed if I stopped posting. I'm just a little too radical. |
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I'm of the opinion that everyone needs a second chance once in a while. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone is tempted. Infidelity seems to be where a lot of people are drawing the line. I don't think that's a good place for it. I've never cheated on a lover, but I can see how, after a long time things could become routine and you might start to wonder if the grass is greener across the fence. You've forgotten why you were with him/her and you miss the excitement of discovering a new lover. You may discover that cheating was a mistake and you were really better off before. In this case, you'd come back with a deeper love and understanding for your old partner. Cheating is wrong, but people make mistakes and need forgiveness once in a while. You make vows. If your partner breaks a vow do you reply by breaking your vows? It doesn't add up to me. My mom and dad were married for 60 years. Back in the 70s my mom believed my dad cheated. My dad denied it. But, my mom never believed him. She didn't leave him, but she was angry for the next 20 years. She put him through hell, but they stayed together. One day she and I spoke about it. I told her that he was never going to admit he'd cheated and her anger wasn't hurting him any more, it was only hurting her. I told her it had been 20 years and it took less time for the world to forgive Germany for WWII. She forgot her anger after that and I think she began to see that even if he had made a mistake, he was still in love with her. He wanted to be with her. She died still in love with him. So, if you wonder why I'm so down on love and relationships, this is it. People don't make that kind of commitment to each other anymore. I want the kind of love my mom and dad had and I know I'll never find it. I've been reading your post more and more. At first on many of them it looks like there is a negative or maybe that "down" thing you talk about, but I have to say there is a lot of profound thought that has gone into your words and comments. The kind of comments that give a much bigger picture to the way and why's you think. Do you think women pick up on the "I want that kind of love" when they read your comments? Do women, when talking to you, pick up on your duality? I hope you see this as a positive observation cause it is. I try to be a realist. Women today aspire to be Kim Kardashian. They aren't interested in the kind of unconditional love I talked about above. I have no idea if women see that side of me or if they'd care or be interested. But, I think it's highly unlikely. I've heard women today talking about "starter husbands." Does that sound like they take love and commitment seriously? Or are they just in it for what they can grab? Find a guy, make him love you, have a kid or two and leave him with the highest alimony and child support payments your lawyer can get you while you're still young enough to party like a Kardashian. No thank you very much! I'll just stick to the sex and party like Charlie Sheen and we'll all take care of ourselves. Hi T But if you found true love to be "true" you would be able to make an amendment in your current "Charlie" movement and let this "true love" in right? Or is it really too late for you in your thinking? I have tried so many times and each time I'm disappointed. But, sure, I'd give it another shot. I guess I'm just stupid that way. But, this time I'd go into it wiser. Things would happen on my time and if she thought it was taking too long, she knows where the door is. And I have two very firm rules; 1) I'm not going to pay her bills and 2) no more children for me. I've reached a point in life that I must plan for my future. All my life I've danced and it's finally time to pay the band. Truthfully, I'm not sure there's going to be space (literally) in it for a full time, long term relationship. Because I've put myself in the position of retiring into a very limited lifestyle. I don't mind it. I'm a simple man with simple needs. But, there just aren't many women that feel the same way. Women dream of big houses, while I long for a tiny one like this;  |
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Topic:
chubby or skinny?
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I prefer a woman that feels comfortable wearing a two piece swimsuit to a public beach.
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Topic:
Men
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Glad you found yet another reason men use women. Now why was it women can't use you??? Another reason that men . . . Congratulations! You read into my statement something that I did not say and did not mean. Yeah, that happens to me too. |
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You are correct that it doesn't say abusive but when one is given absolute control of another; there is certainly possibility of abuse. This is why I consider it leadership as leadership is taking charge; not controlling a person. JMO You know what? I like that. I've been looking for a word that wouldn't get people's dander up like submissive. I think follower is an outstanding replacement word. It explains the point I'm making without the negative connotations. Cudos! well then I don't fit into this category at all, because although I voluntarily submit to do as I choose, I'm not a mindless follower...  It's follower, not lemming. |
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You are correct that it doesn't say abusive but when one is given absolute control of another; there is certainly possibility of abuse. This is why I consider it leadership as leadership is taking charge; not controlling a person. JMO You know what? I like that. I've been looking for a word that wouldn't get people's dander up like submissive. I think follower is an outstanding replacement word. It explains the point I'm making without the negative connotations. Cudos! |
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I think most people don't understand the meaning of Dominant/submissive. Taking the lead is not the same. A Dominant person doesn't care what the submissive person wants. A dominant person will tell you who can be your friends, what to wear, what to eat, and you are treated like a second class citizen. Like Willing said; you are open to abuse. Definition of dominant: ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence. That is not leadership; that is abuse. Definition of submissive: inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient. If a guy was dominant; he would not be asking his girlfriend/wife/partner if he can go out with his friends; he just would; or would not discuss money matters with her; he would just spend it as he sees fit. A successful relation is not run on dictatorship but working together; therefore unless the person is controlled like a puppet; there is no Dominant/Submissive relationship. In relationships; no matter who makes the decision; there will be discussion or input from the other so how can one claim to be dominant? This whole term is not used properly when describing a relationship. One can lead or make decisions but that doesn't make him dominant; just a leader. A dominant person will never; I repeat never let their partner make a decision or have any input. I saw first hand this type of relationship with my mother and it was hell for her. How can we conclude that every dominant person doesn't care and that they will misuse their control and influence to abuse others. No where in the definitions you cited does it infer this... and if you are using your mother's experience as the criteria for your belief that everyone on earth acts exactly like the rest, then I would cite many relationships where the dominant is a human being with feelings and understanding and does not rule his loved ones with an iron fist that would breed only hatred of them... I just used my mom as an example. The definition dominant is: ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence. I think most people confuse leadership with dominant. I am just saying the use of the word in not used in its correct content. Does that make sense to you? I'll concede to your definition. But, I'd like to point out a word that's NOT in it. It doesn't say abusive. |
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I think most people don't understand the meaning of Dominant/submissive. Taking the lead is not the same. A Dominant person doesn't care what the submissive person wants. A dominant person will tell you who can be your friends, what to wear, what to eat, and you are treated like a second class citizen. Like Willing said; you are open to abuse. Definition of dominant: ruling, governing, or controlling; having or exerting authority or influence. That is not leadership; that is abuse. Definition of submissive: inclined or ready to submit; unresistingly or humbly obedient. If a guy was dominant; he would not be asking his girlfriend/wife/partner if he can go out with his friends; he just would; or would not discuss money matters with her; he would just spend it as he sees fit. A successful relation is not run on dictatorship but working together; therefore unless the person is controlled like a puppet; there is no Dominant/Submissive relationship. This whole term is not used properly when describing a relationship. One can lead or make decisions but that doesn't make him dominant; just a leader. No, what you describe in NOT a Dominate. What you are describing is domineering. The difference is vast. I good leader takes into account the needs of his/her follower(s). A person can be Dominate without being domineering. Submission is NEVER forced. Submission is a gift from a submissive that can be taken away at any time. A sub submits only to someone that has earned his/her respect. |
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I think a practical vacation would be one where you use your time off work to look for a better job, maybe in another state or part of the world. Most anything else would be romantic. What if you aren't looking for a new job? What's another example of a practical vacation? I can't think of another practical vacation example. Anything done purely for pleasure could be romantic. If it's pleasurable, it must be practical. You could of course mix the two. |
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Topic:
Trolling
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Nobody on this site that we know of is a troll. So, the point of this thread is . . . The point is now me saying thank you to all that stepped up in support of thoughts, ideas and views that may differ from their own. If there was an emoticon of a cheering crowed, I'd post it. And I never post emoticons. So, I hope that enough to express my feelings. |
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Topic:
Trolling
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Nobody on this site that we know of is a troll. So, the point of this thread is . . . The point is now me saying thank you to all that stepped up in support of thoughts, ideas and views that may differ from their own. If there was an emoticon of a cheering crowed, I'd post it. And I never post emoticons. So, I hope that enough to express my feelings. |
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Topic:
How Old are You?
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12 days ago I turned 51. I'm no where near retiring, but I've got my eye on it. Health wise, I'm doing pretty well. No problems that have to be taken care of. Although, my right knee troubles me some when the weather changes. Too much time kick starting that old Harley I used to ride.
I don't want to be younger and I don't have any real regrets. I like myself, a lot. |
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In today's modern culture I think getting married is a bad deal all around, but for men especially (or whichever partner has the greater assets). At the very least, get a pre-nup.
I think moving in together is almost as bad a deal unless certain precautions are taken. I'd suggest having three bank accounts. One is mine, one is her's and one we share and use to pay rent and utilities. In this third account each partner should contribute equal percentages of their incomes. That way whichever partner has the higher income pays the biggest part of the bills. We'd also sign a new lease with each partner being equally responsible for payment of it and we'd have to agree that we'd be in it until the lease is up no matter how our relationship goes. That means if one decides they want to seek greener pastures, they're still responsible for half the rent and other bills. Each person should have and maintain their own car as well. We'd also agree that we're NOT getting married. All this must be worked out in a co-habitation agreement before anything happened. So, we'd also each need our own lawyer. This way I can buy whatever my heart desires or save as much as I want and she can do the same. I think this is a fair deal for everyone involved because relationships like we're talking about aren't supposed to be about money. I think the best option is for me to live in my place and her to live in her's and we get together when we want to and do the things we both enjoy. |
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I think a practical vacation would be one where you use your time off work to look for a better job, maybe in another state or part of the world.
Most anything else would be romantic. |
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I think in most happy relationships, the rolls my change from time to time given the circumstances. Maybe I don't clean things around the house the way she'd like. So, in that area she may dominate (or nag me about it LOL). But, she doesn't know the first things about maintaining a car. So, I'd be the one in charge of that area. Each one giving control to the partner with the greater expertise in a given area. They're still equal partners. But, I still think there comes a point where one must submit and the other dominate. Otherwise, you'll reach an impasse and it's all over. I can appreciate your position, Scoundrel... it just amazes me that as soon as the words dominant and submissive are mentioned, defenses can go up, sides can be taken... when in every single relationship of any couple, there are unspoken roles we naturally follow that allows men to be dominant and women to be submissive... I dare say even in gay unions, there are dominant and submissive roles to be undertaken... and I don't understand why, as the generations have progressed and our cultures have evolved to where getting married isn't even the norm anymore, as women have become head of households, and men have been delegated to second class if they don't make enough money.. it's like that's what men have become in our society... a means to an end... they aren't leaders of our families who we rely on for affection, guidance and support.. me personally, I love being a woman who keeps my home in order the way I like it, and yet I still need my man to look after me, even while he let's me have my way, because he understands my complexity as a woman and knows that at times I do need his guidance.. and I'm not ashamed to admit it, or to proud to accept it when it's provided... I think gay couples are more honest about it. Among the ones I know they readily acknowledge one partner is the Dom and the other the sub. They recognize this is a component of a healthy relationship. It's only us straight couples that have these equality issues. |
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I think in most happy relationships, the rolls my change from time to time given the circumstances. Maybe I don't clean things around the house the way she'd like. So, in that area she may dominate (or nag me about it LOL). But, she doesn't know the first things about maintaining a car. So, I'd be the one in charge of that area.
Each one giving control to the partner with the greater expertise in a given area. They're still equal partners. But, I still think there comes a point where one must submit and the other dominate. Otherwise, you'll reach an impasse and it's all over. |
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