Community > Posts By > BrooklynJ

 
BrooklynJ's photo
Thu 11/21/13 12:17 PM


They're toddlers. I know they know better- they only do it when they know I'm out of the room working on laundry, and when they see me coming they run for it. Time-outs don't work, nothing I've tried has worked. The containers are the mongo costco-sized containers. I have a hook-lock the pantry door- I don't know how they get the containers all the time! If it hadn't happened SO many times in the last couple of months I wouldn't <a class="ktg6us78hf8vdu7" href="javascript:void(0)">care</a>, but since they do it over and over and over, I know I have to be doing SOMETHING wrong!


The only thing you are doing wrong is expecting behavior beyond brain development and not giving enough supervision. You can't take your eyes of toddlers in non kid areas for even a minute. You have to do laundry you take the with you or corral them in a safe area.

If you have three toddlers you are WAY out numbered and need reinforcements and to create "kid zones" if it means installing internal storm doors and mirrors or blocking off some areas that are off limits or at least can be visually monitored. In the three minutes you take to switch a load of laundry from the washer to the drier they can be out the door in traffic. Toddlers know only one speed ; full speed attack any obstical they find. If they remember, or smell, or see it in partially open cabinets something they want you turn your back long enough for it to pop into mind and they are going to be in it. It is irresistible urge to discover, open, and conquer.

Kitchens/pantrys are by their nature as a work room; and like bathrooms and garages a major hazard to toddlers. Drownings, poisonings, sharps, and fires are all excellent reasons to keep toddlers out of kitchens unless you are constantly present and generally only when they are seated even secured at a dining station. Can't tell you the number of kids with permanent head injuries or at least fractures from falling off of stools and counters. If you think of kids as skilled little monkeys that can literally climb up door jams like a coconut tree and unlatch a hook and slide back down with ease you would not delude yourself with the so called safety locks.

If you are lucky enough to have a kitchen with a door, way smarter than the open design being foisted on young families today, you really want to keep the kids in the dining room or you are going to continue to be frustrated and quite likely very upset when something more hazardous than a spill occurs. You can go to Habitat Restore and get inexpensive doors less than ten bucks and with a section of one by six make a half door or install plexi-glass windows until your kids mature enough that you can leave them unsupervised longer. I have frequently recommended converting the largest bedroom to a play room and smaller rooms to sleeping rooms if you don't want the living room and kitchen trashed most days. If you need more work periods where you have help keeping an eye on kids then recruit a friend to swap out afternoons where you do chores. If You have need for rest when they rest it may require recruiting more help from Dad, Grandparents, a church <a class="ktg6us78hf8vdu7" href="javascript:void(0)">preschool</a>, or crisis nursery. Having set nap times and bedtimes means you may have to do some chores when you would really rather be watching TV or using the computer but this is what you sign up for when you have toddlers. Luckily this stage does not last forever.

Since these kids are toddlers 18 months to 36-40 months it is just play not intentional negative behavior. That comes along but it is usually when they are over six. Kids forget to be good but they rarely choose to be bad until they are even six or seven. Kids aren't bad by nature they just don't know or remember the difference. It takes a lot of repetition to teach them no, boundrys, and more than simple behaviors and yes you start in the toddler years but it doesn't stick until they are older.

Why do they do this? Because making messes is stimulating. It is sensory like adults like certain sensory "stuff". Adults just get programed to not make messes by having to clean them up. Toddlers don't have that forethought.
Your toddlers have mastered "pouring" and the various sounds are just a <a class="ktg6us78hf8vdu7" href="javascript:void(0)">game</a> as they hit the floor and get scattered around. Especially the youngest ones. At 2 they can start cleaning up but they really don't have the focus or concentration to do it well or understand why except it gets one of two kinds of reaction from you. From one mess to the mess they are going to forget the concept of sequential instructions. To them food stuffs is no different and less valuable than lego blocks. Not like they can stack it. All they can do is dump, smear, taste, and feel it with hands and toes in tactile play. Why toddlers are soooooooh good at smearing and coloring on walls. It feels good rubbing. They might have some concept that pouring, especially without spilling if you are coaching/watching, is desirable in some situation but toddlers are more than glad to lap stuff off the table as they are to drink it out of a glass.

They "scatter" because they are toddlers and running from Mom is a game. Maybe the oldest has some vague idea that a mess is not cool but it really just doesn't connect. If "no, stop, don't" are the most common things they hear from you they don't even want to play with you. Chances are they will react to your anger with fear or even say what they hear you say but they don't get the right and wrong of it until closer to four or five. Sometimes a younger child will mimic and older child but they don't have the brain development to have conceptual understanding. For that matter toddlers are not really all that good at reciprocal play; most of the time they can't co-<a class="ktg6us78hf8vdu7" href="javascript:void(0)">operate</a> to do anything but maybe team up to get something open and then fight over how the contents get played in if they don't forget it about as fast as they get it open. More often than not stuff is spilled while they are wrestling over the container or <a class="ktg6us78hf8vdu7" href="javascript:void(0)">tromping</a> over each other for something else.


Wow, thank you so much! I've got the kitchen barricaded off, lol, but there's still a port to the counter in the kitchen when they climb on the dining room table. I could bar that off too. Thanks again! happy

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 03:58 PM

Guess it depends on the age of the kids and how big and difficult is it to get into the canister of Nesquick.

If you have kids 8-10 and up Bulldog is right stop buying Nesquick or at least letting them have it. Each and every time they make a mess they clean it up if it has to sit until they get back from school to do it. If that is not possible having to have a hard core cleaning session right though their favorite past-time and the price of replacing the wasted food coming out of their fun money.

I do not agree with depriving a child of food but the nutritional value of this product clearly puts it in the "treat zone". Something that might make a child trying to exercise a choice of dietary discretion they may have "learned" somewhere else possible or it is just the typical food power play many kids go through at very developmental stages. If they don't like the cartoon that sells it, think it is a vitamin drink, someone tells them it is good for them, or only unpopular kids drink it; who knows why they won't eat it. Sometimes if you, or someone they like, asks nicely casually they will actually tell you. Kids learn food prejudice as early as preschool.

Food is often the only power kids have. It can be intoxicating because it usually makes parents "crazy". My experience the less you make any food a reward or a contest with kids the better. If you have one kid getting it as a special treat a sibling could be dumping it out of retaliation. If you make a big show of taking it away from everyone then you just amp up the issue. Especially if this was something one child has picked as their treat at the grocery store. Big reason I do not let young kids control grocery shopping. You end up buying expensive foods that they really don't need and food becomes something that is not about nutrition.

If a kid is throwing out a specific food repeatedly I would say it is less about the food than something else is going on. Usually the stress of two much going on in too short a time. A rushed child or a frustrated child will spill stuff or throw out food.

If they are under eight or have attention problems then it might work better to use a funnel and put a smaller amount in a more manageable container. Long neck ketsup bottles are easier for smaller hands to pour from. You would have a hard time pouring out of a laundry basket and younger kids don't have the eye hand coordination to consistently pour a powdered substance out of a large container with out making a mess. If someone has gotten the scoop the only thing left is pouring.

Kids under six powdered almost anything is going to be come a toy. It is just an irresistable impulse. The smell sets them off and breathing it tickles their nose or an allergic reaction and then things are off to the races. They see food fights on tv or at road races all bets are off. My son saw mommy sprinkle rug deodorizer and decided that mash-potato flakes would work the same way; you are too young to probably remember shag carpeting but believe me that was a mess and then some.

There is an old Swede saying loosely translated that goes "One boy is a good boy, Two boys are bad boys, Three boys is no boys at all." Meaning if you have kids in plural it is usually going to get out of control with out a lot of direct supervision in certain tasks. When my kids were younger I put the sippy mugs in the refrigerator door the night before to make breakfast faster. Each kid knew by color which belong to whom. Finding a sticker on your mug meant that you were getting a reward for being a extra good helper or some such reward they could earn my collecting so many.

The trick to parenting is often catching your kid being good and rewarding the behavior you want rather than punishing the stuff that makes you crazy. Hope this helps.


This is really great advice btw! Thank you!

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 03:57 PM
lol that'd work I guess! Now if I can just break them of dumping cereal and pasta noodles....

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 03:55 PM
I've actually never seen silence of the lambs! Is it as good as they say?

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 03:53 PM

Night Of The Demon aka Curse Of The Demon (1957)
The Uninvited (1944)
The Haunting (1963)
The Innocents (1961)
The Shining (1980)
The Changeling (1980)
The Others (2001)
Session 9 (2001)
The Woman In Black (1989)
The Forgotten One (1989)
The Legend Of Hell House (1973)
Ju-On (2000)
Ju-On: The Grudge (2002)
The Entity (1982)
Let's Scare Jessica To Death (1971)
Burnt Offerings (1976)
Full Circle aka The Haunting Of Julia (1977)
Lovely Molly (2011)
Possession (1981)
The Hearse (1980)
The Nesting (1981)
The Innkeepers (2011)
The Orphanage (2007)
The Devil's Backbone (2001)
The Pact (2012)
House Hunting (2013)
Absentia (2011)
Shock (1977)
The Exorcist III (1990)
Shutter (2004)
The Sentinel (1977)
Audrey Rose (1977)
Wind Chill (2007)
Dead Birds (2004)
Lake Mungo (2008)


wow! Thanks! That's a huge list! I've seen about 10 of them

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 09:28 AM
They're toddlers. I know they know better- they only do it when they know I'm out of the room working on laundry, and when they see me coming they run for it. Time-outs don't work, nothing I've tried has worked. The containers are the mongo costco-sized containers. I have a hook-lock the pantry door- I don't know how they get the containers all the time! If it hadn't happened SO many times in the last couple of months I wouldn't care, but since they do it over and over and over, I know I have to be doing SOMETHING wrong!

BrooklynJ's photo
Wed 11/20/13 09:21 AM
Thanks! :D

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 07:47 PM
Actually, I would love to know where to go in England! I've always wanted to go and see the popular destinations, like stonehenge, but I'd love to know the best and less-crowded places to go. What do you suggest?

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 07:07 PM
Wow! I didn't know psychic abilities were so common! I have had a few visions or have heard things before they were said, but mostly I just get gut feelings on things. You know- "turn right" or "call so-and-so RIGHT NOW" sort of thing. Nothing as strong as what some of the people who have posted have! You guys have some really cool abilities!

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 07:01 PM
My kids dumped their 7th container of Nesquik in the last 2 months. They know they're not supposed to dump out containers of food/drink mix but they keep doing it anyway! What do I do?

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 06:59 PM
I love haunting/possession thrillers like The Conjuring, The Exorcist (the original one, not the new one) and Insidious. Does anyone have any suggestions for more good haunting movies to watch?

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 06:55 PM
You are like my TV twin! I wanted to be xena when I grew up, lol! She's still amazing!

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 06:54 PM
Edited by BrooklynJ on Tue 11/19/13 06:56 PM
I really love Dexter, Arrow, Big bang theory, and Supernatural! (My little ones aren't crazy about the monsters on it though so I have to wait till they're asleep to watch it, lol!)

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 06:51 PM
Can anyone please look at my profile and tell me what they think?

BrooklynJ's photo
Tue 11/19/13 06:49 PM
I'm new to this and excited to meet new people! Hi everybody! :D