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Hi everyone.
What a fantastic Christmas and birthday *2 days after xmas* this turned out to be. I am currently living, which is a start, and accepted the fact that it is over. 100%. There are no more chances, no second guesses, no one more time. I am over her. She has done and said some rather nasty things, and I am not going to follow suit. Now, I have joined a sports club, playing darts, which is now a new addiction. Probably a lot better than my last one eh? I'm staying with a friend, who said I could stay as long as I needed to. The only major thing missing is constant income. Being a tradesman this time of year, looking for a job, is like looking for a needle in a haystack. There's one there, it just takes time to find it. Anyway, I'll come back again with any more news, be it good or bad, and keep you posted. Thanks for everything so far! :-) |
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When I read your first post on this thread I was prompted to read the thread thinking ok give this guy some support and help him through what is a difficult experience at best. THEN I read down how you have conducted yourself and you should be sooooooooh glad I am not your kids court appointed advocate because I would crucify you, and your wife, on the courthouse steps. Well maybe her, maybe not, because we only have your side of the story and your varasity has holes in it big enough for and adult Kangaroo to vault through. You have conducted yourself in an outlandish, abusive, and clearly inappropriate manner as a parent and a person facing divorce arbitration and custody arrangements. You are not real bright documenting it in a world wide forum and I don't know a lawyer in the world that would want to take on your case with out a HUGE up front cash retainer because you are going to get slammed when her lawyer gets this in his hands and I pretty much guarantee he will. You might have had her bluffed into buying you out of the house on the phone but bullying someone by text at work and at home; especially at night might just get her awarded the home, and a fat security up grade; while she retires with a PTSD claim and having a home tutor to protect the kids from further inclusion in the Divorce Wars which you actually sound like you are enjoying since you are making such a big effort to publicly document it. I don't know how your kids are going to take you using them a poster children for your pity pot profile/post but I would not be surprised in the least if the court puts a gag order on you ASAP and your visitation is order to be done under supervision disallowing any photography. Hope it was worth it. I really feel sorry for your kids. If You think your kids are not going to have schoolmates/neighbors throwing this up in their face you are deluded. You have effectively painted a target on the backs of two young girls/ your own children? Clearly you hate your ex more than you love your kids. And if you were not planning on paying for psychological counseling you best be now. I don't care if she was the wicked witch of the west you have made yourself the bully in this family by retaliating internationally publicly. And as far as you dating after this light you have shown on your "performance" I would not look for anyone getting with in a country mile of you for a good long time. You have proved that you can not check your temper. That makes you a real bad bet as a date. I would not be surprised if you didn't just get added to several hundred ladies blocked list. Even a divorce support group is not going to want someone who demonstrates the kind of behavior anywhere near their kids or their single female members. *Holds up hands in surrender* WHOOOOOAAAAHHHH!! Ease up people, please. I'm sorry, but some of you seem to have misread the thread. She said she didn't want me in her life. Ok. I accepted it. BUT, while we were still TOGETHER, she "hooked up" with this other guy, and did what she did. THIS is the thing that hurt me more than her saying it was over. There is no way I have been abusive, angry, out of control or outlandish in this thread, or in reality. Granted that somehow it turned into a novel of the first week or so of the separation, but how did I turn out to be the bad guy in this? I admit, I had made some REALLY bad choices in the past years of the relationship, but nothing in this thread shows that I did anything wrong, apart from send a message. She said it was ok to text her that night, and she was the one who threatened ME when she came home. I have NEVER attempted to, or otherwise, threaten, abuse, physically hurt or damage her in ANY way shape or form. So.. I take it this thread is over? |
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Hi again all.
I've read and re-read all of your posts and taken each one into consideration. The argument we had last week did us both a lot of good actually. We both know that what we were arguing about was dredged up crap from the past. We have forgiven each other for the words and actions that were said and done. We are still talking, there is no malice towards each other, although, if one of us does say something wrong, the other will give a less than happy face/body expression. LOL! Oh by the way: 1: I'm not a whack job :P 2: I am slowly coming out of my shell. Thanks for all the advice! |
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I'm saying this here because I can.
It's a worldwide forum and I don't care who reads it. Run if you want, but I'm over it all. The story is over. I'm buying a new book, and writing a new story. Join in if you want, lets make it an awesome story. 
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Thanx heaps!
There is NO WAY I'm fighting infront of the kids. Yes, we used to have arguments, but no raised voices etc This one was kind of raised, by her, due to my vent,and the kids were asleep. I never raised my voice to her, ever. *shrug* We shall see what happens next. |
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Edited by
Adarkin
on
Fri 12/06/13 12:00 PM
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**Way to go, you just really helped the situation, pfff ... You got it of your chest, now you dumped it on her plate, got her upset in the process, created ill feelings between the two of you, ad worst of it all, your kids will suffer because of it. Well done! Next time you might want to think about other ppl's feelings, especially those of your innocent kids, and go to the woods to scream. Or beat up a punch bag.** umm.. before you say this is MY fault, she wanted out, remember. She wanted to "live". I was living, until that day. The last 3 weeks have been a $hit storm of emotions, fighting, arguing etc. Old feelings towards her, ill feelings towards 'the guy' and myself. It was going to happen, so I chose to get it out of the way. She had stated that there was a 'non sugar coated' version of her reasons for calling it quits. I went in to see if there was any chance of getting back. ahhhh...no... no sugar on this version. so.. I accelerated the inevitable. better to get it out of the way now, than wait 12 months and have that time to cool down before finally closing the curtains. |
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Well, the latest update in the Adarkin Saga.
I texted her that I wanted to talk, but I didn't want to ruin her night at work, or I wait till she came home. She said text away. I sent her a text, around 10pm, which was a mother of all texts. Practically 10 years of pent up negative energy. I had to get it off my chest. World War 895673 started, and it didn't finish until 12am. 2 hours of us attacking each other with pieces dredged up from the past. Once my rant was over, I felt peculiar, as if the whole world had been taken off my shoulders, release. I was calm the entire time. It finally finished when she (imagine cartoon steam)was livid, saying she doesn't want me anywhere in her life, not getting back together, blah blah blah, and said she would, somehow find a way, buy my half of the house. I was still calm at this stage, which made her even angrier, saying she was so angry she could hit me. The words POLICE and CUSTODY slipped out of my mouth. She stepped away, luckily for me. She wouldn't leave without taking the kids, and I wouldn't let her take them. I said I would see them tomorrow, and drove to my temporary accommodation. |
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The shyness comes from a fear of rejection. Being alone, companion wise, also scares the crap out of me.
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Ok. So far, all advice has been for me NOT to start up something new. I will endeavor to hold off till it's time.
Does that count for the ex too? However, she's the one who called it off, but (here's the clincher) she started kissing and fondling a co-worker, at a work function, and they are still texting and, probably, seeing each other. This occurred 3wweeks ago. I don't want her to be hurt by him, and I don't want to hurt her, but could the rebound effect happen to her? |
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Ok. Cheers all!
No rebounding, rebounding bad, got it. Me time, got it. Find myself, got it. I have been doing some serious thinking about where, when and what went wrong. I understand the why's, and I am committed to adjusting myself to better myself. Has anyone ever had their respective others return? Or is that a wrong move? |
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Thanks for the advice everyone.
The hardest thing so far, is letting go of what we had. We still talk and text as 'friends', but every now and then, I say the wrong thing, and World War 9 begins. The kids are fine and nothing will change for them, with the exception of dad not sleeping in the house. We originally agreed that one of us would move to the spare room, but it would be harder on both of us, to act independently, and also put on the facade of a family with no problems. Went to the kids school xmas concert and when I left for darts, I texted her that xmas is celebrated as a family, not a separated couple with kids. I felt sick. |
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My ex called it quits after a 15 year relationship. How do I start seeing other women without any practice? I'm a shy guy, and confrontation isn't one of my strengths. All input greatly appreciated.
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