Community > Posts By > MamaTBear

 
MamaTBear's photo
Tue 12/23/14 05:45 PM
So, I live in the Port Orchard area. I'm looking to see if there is anyone who would like to talk, chat, hang out, etc, in the area.

Preferably someone who is unafraid of the words "Bipolar", "PTSD", and "physical disabilities".... oh and "Single Mom"...

There is so much stigma and stereotyping attached to those terms. While I'm all for educating people about what it means to live with those things, I'd rather not have to battle with people who assume that I'm a crazy psychopath JUST because I have Bipolar and PTSD.

I'd love to hang with someone who is willing to ask before judging and assuming. I know there are people out there who are nice. I know there are people out there who are caring, loving, sweet, and fit the (for lack of a better term) "profile" of what I'm looking for... I just wonder WHERE those people are....

MamaTBear's photo
Wed 12/17/14 10:34 PM
Well, I can promise that I've made my share of mistakes in relationships. I married a good man and it fell apart because I identified as bisexual (I've learned recently that the correct term for me is pansexual). My first lesbian relationship was a woman who abused the hell out of me. (Hence the PTSD)

Having Bipolar does make things a lot more interesting as far as relationships go. I find that I have to work a lot harder to make things go as smoothly as I can. Granted, I made bad relationship choices in the past.

I am learning that the Bipolar that I have isn't AS bad as it seems to some people. Yes it's there. But it can be really entertaining when you think about it. When I'm Manic, I can become such a talkative person. The issue with that? I speed talk. My mouth tries to keep up with my brain and it doesn't always work. I also have a habit of saying things before I realize i'm going to say them. (My brain is constantly a runaway train.) Which makes for some interesting blogs, stories, and even a book that I've been working on for years.

My depression can get bad. But I'm learning it's more SADD and situational than anything. Since moving in with my parents (a safe haven to start over), I'm a lot calmer. I'm not nearly as irritable. I still struggle to think straight.... But, then again, there's nothing straight about me anyway so it works. LOL....

I'm rambling. I need to go to sleep.... See what I mean? There's a lot of stigma surrounding Mental Illnesses and a lot of the stigma and stereotypes get pinned on me because I mention Mental Illness.

I truly wish people would just give me a chance. Get to know me. See how good I really am with my kids. See what kind of a friend I am. I don't make friends easily, but when I do, it's generally for life because I'm cautious.

Rambling again... SORRY!!!!

MamaTBear's photo
Wed 12/17/14 10:25 PM

... wish you all the best of luck ..in this
. what is" this "..? by the way..!
.. I don't know what this is , but it's kind of sticky.. EWww.. and it doesn't smell very good... hang on a minute..
.. nibble nibble...omg.. And it doesn't taste very good either.. E.Wwww yuck..... I don't like" this".. here you can keep" this"..jk.lollaugh :wink: drinker :angel:
.


LOL

MamaTBear's photo
Wed 12/17/14 04:47 PM
lol... I stay home a lot more than I'd like to. I love my children to death and would never trade them for anything. But, something that parents tend to forget is that WE, as parents, have to take care of ourselves too. Which means we need to find ways to connect with other people, get out of the house, etc. It's vital to our mental/emotional/physical health. The hard part is finding ways to connect that don't require a lot of money in the current economy. lol

MamaTBear's photo
Wed 12/17/14 04:45 PM
Thank you. :)

MamaTBear's photo
Tue 12/16/14 12:02 PM
The hard part is finding out how to find someone who will just like me as I am. My weight, my motherhood, and the way my brain works. lol...

I've only just started using this site and I'm far from giving up, yet. lol... I hope that I will find someone, some day who will be what I'm looking for. Regardless of male or female... Even though I do feel a little worn out on men right now. (No offense! There are a lot of great guys out there. I just haven't met any single ones yet.)

MamaTBear's photo
Mon 12/15/14 05:04 PM
I'm trying to figure out the same thing. LOL... :) I just moved "home" to Port Orchard. When it comes to the dating scene, I'm brand new in this area. I was away for years. Now I'm home and as single as it gets. lol... The hard part for me will be getting to the places where folks like to hang out, dance, etc.

MamaTBear's photo
Mon 12/15/14 04:59 PM
I've found singles in my area... Now whether they reply or ignore is a whole other ball game... Finding love, I've found, is hard as heck.

MamaTBear's photo
Mon 12/15/14 04:55 PM
There seems to be two things that tend to scare off a lot of people about people like me... Okay, three, but I tend to ignore the third one.

1) the words Single Mother... They seem to scare off even more if you add a number more than one to that.

and

2) the words Mental Illness.... I'd rather be up front and honest about it. Bipolar II Disorder, Depression & PTSD.

People always seem to assume that "Mental Illness" means "psycho". It really doesn't. Bipolar is nothing more than a chemical imbalance in the brain. It means that my thought process works differently than those who don't have it. The fact that I have Bipolar II Disorder just means that my moods can rapid cycle. The fact that my previous relationships lasted years, can be testimony that my mood swings are not violent, or horribly dramatic. They happen.

PTSD... well, I guess that people see mental illnesses like PTSD to mean that I'm "broken".

But when you put Single Mother and Mental Illness out there when you are trying to be honest and real... It seems to scare people off....

How does someone break past those? (The third is the fact that I'm overweight, though I'm losing it one pound at a time with help of a strong support system. But, I ignore people with issues about others weight.)

Does being a single mom with mental illness mean I'll never find someone? Or is there still hope?

MamaTBear's photo
Mon 12/15/14 04:47 PM
Single soft-butch. I'm not thrilled with being single. But I'm dealing rather well with it. I've got 2 kids who need most of my attention right now. So, I'm "loosely" looking for a partner in my area. No idea if I will or not. :)

MamaTBear's photo
Mon 12/15/14 04:40 PM
Hello, I'm a 33 year old single Mom to 2 kiddos. I have no idea whether I will meet someone on here or not. I hope that I do. I recently moved home to Port Orchard. I've been away for so long that I really don't know the area that well anymore. Not to mention that I hadn't come out of the closet until after I moved away, so I never got to figure out where I could go to hang out or meet people.

I'm totally new at the "online dating" scene. I've never done this before and it feels strange to me. If I only walk away with some new friendships, then I'll take some comfort in it.

I have no idea how hard/easy it will be to find the right woman for me since I am a Mom. I have other things that tend to scare people off too.

Well, here's to luck and love!

MamaTBear's photo
Sat 12/13/14 04:00 PM
Alright, I've definitely learned a lot about myself over the years. First of all, I am a mom to the core. Always have been. I'm nicknamed Mama/Mama Bear for a reason. LOL It's all good, I live up to it nicely.

But I'm finding that being a single mother is tough. I want to get out and meet people. (Or at least try to.) I'm new to the dating scene. One of the things I'm curious about is whether other people find it hard to find partners also, as single parents. (Men or women can answer!)

I know that (often) guys are put off by kids. (This depends on their mental/emotional age, mind you, I'm not generalizing here! :) ) Women aren't (usually) as put off by kids.

But, when one is a single parent... How do you get into the dating scene? How do I know that this is really the right thing to do?