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| Topic: Married men | |
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First you are close friends and have deep feelings for him, now you've had to move to another state to rid of this guy that is apparently obsessed with you or something yet you still have deep feelings for him?
Somethings terribly wrong with this picture! Excluding the fact that he was married when this whole deal started. Somethings wrong with that picture too! |
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I know! Life isnt easy! I have figured that part out! Technically though i didnt move all because of him. It all worked out cuz I have been wanting to go back to school and moving to SHreve and going back to LSUS is what i have been wanting to do. I know that running away doesnt solve problems just puts it on hold. I am trying to be strong. I get what ur saying bout if he doesnt respect my decision to back off then maybe he is in it just for a piece of ass. Maybe ur right but who knows. I have told him over and over again that i need space and that i cant do it anymore...being with him. Its just hard cuz he is a good friend to me whether he is married or not married. I dont want to be his "dirty lil secret" but just want to be friends and thats what we are but to him...he wants more...a relationship
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if he is divorcing then perhaps he should move out and make arrangements with his wife. if divorcing is a drawn out process then once they are separated they can agree to pursue independent lives to a certain extent depending on their circumstances.
if you care for him and he cares for you and you trust each other the rest could be worked out. however, if you have deep serious reservations about him as an eventual life partner then you might find the counseling helpful to work through your feelings. |
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But tech i didnt move to another state because of him. I am orginally from Shreve in the first place. I moved to Texas when I was married then after the divorce i continued to live in Texas til after i gave my 2 weeks notice at work then i was moving back to LA to go back to school. The move back to SHreve was way before I got with him
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if he is divorcing then perhaps he should move out and make arrangements with his wife. if divorcing is a drawn out process then once they are separated they can agree to pursue independent lives to a certain extent depending on their circumstances. if you care for him and he cares for you and you trust each other the rest could be worked out. however, if you have deep serious reservations about him as an eventual life partner then you might find the counseling helpful to work through your feelings. He has already moved out. He is trying to get me back and come live with him cuz he knows that our feelings are mutal and that things btw us could work out. To me i think its way to fast. I just want to be friends with him although I do love him and that feeling will never go away! |
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I know! Life isnt easy! I have figured that part out! Technically though i didnt move all because of him. It all worked out cuz I have been wanting to go back to school and moving to SHreve and going back to LSUS is what i have been wanting to do. I know that running away doesnt solve problems just puts it on hold. I am trying to be strong. I get what ur saying bout if he doesnt respect my decision to back off then maybe he is in it just for a piece of ass. Maybe ur right but who knows. I have told him over and over again that i need space and that i cant do it anymore...being with him. Its just hard cuz he is a good friend to me whether he is married or not married. I dont want to be his "dirty lil secret" but just want to be friends and thats what we are but to him...he wants more...a relationship |
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Thanks for ur advice littleike. Hopefully you dont judge me like the rest of them people reading this is doing. Yes we are all humans and do make many mistakes....believe me i am learning from my mistakes!
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ok - now i'm getting the picture. he needs to know that he is pushing you too hard and you need to try to keep it friendly and light for a while. he needs to know if he keeps pushing you that it will hurt not help your friendship and relationship. it might be very hard for him if he is lonely after his breakup.
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ok - now i'm getting the picture. he needs to know that he is pushing you too hard and you need to try to keep it friendly and light for a while. he needs to know if he keeps pushing you that it will hurt not help your friendship and relationship. it might be very hard for him if he is lonely after his breakup. Thanks for all ur advice! Yes i know its confusing and complicated....join the club! Lol! anyways, im getting off to go study and get my mind on something positive for a change! Thanks again! Goodnite! |
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Thanks for ur advice littleike. Hopefully you dont judge me like the rest of them people reading this is doing. Yes we are all humans and do make many mistakes....believe me i am learning from my mistakes! 
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Why is it that alot of people are attracted to older, married men? I am one of them! It sucks cuz I have falling for this guy whose married for almost 9yrs. We have been seeing each other for over a yr and a half now. I can actually say that I have deep feelings for him. What should I do? i'll stay out of this one 
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ok - now i'm getting the picture. he needs to know that he is pushing you too hard and you need to try to keep it friendly and light for a while. he needs to know if he keeps pushing you that it will hurt not help your friendship and relationship. it might be very hard for him if he is lonely after his breakup. |
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It hurts to be cheated on...... Trust me... end it.... Let him leave her first if he is serious bout you.... do you think he wont do the same to you.... wont you always wonder?????
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Thanks for ur advice littleike. Hopefully you dont judge me like the rest of them people reading this is doing. Yes we are all humans and do make many mistakes....believe me i am learning from my mistakes! Well it looks like ur the first person tonight who hasnt judged me! I knoe everyone has their opinions bout me and my situations but thanks for not judging! |
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I did tell him earlier. Not in though words but I did.
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Him and his wife are actually going thru a divorce now. But i am trying to back out of this mess although i do have feelings for him and vice versa. I just want to be no more than friends but in his opinion...since we have mutal feelings then we should be together cuz it will work out btw us!
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My advice to you is this...Let him finish his old relationship before he starts a new relationship with you. If he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you!! I think your best move would be to totally end the relationship, I know you keep saying that he won't let you...but how can he really stop you? YOU are in control of what you do..DO NOT give him a choice, just end it! If you honestly do not want to be with him, there are restraining orders to keep him away from you.
You are the only person that can honestly end this relationship that is going no where. I truly believe that if someone cheats once, most likely they will cheat again. I wish you luck and I hope this helps a little 
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My advice to you is this...Let him finish his old relationship before he starts a new relationship with you. If he cheated WITH you, he will cheat ON you!! I think your best move would be to totally end the relationship, I know you keep saying that he won't let you...but how can he really stop you? YOU are in control of what you do..DO NOT give him a choice, just end it! If you honestly do not want to be with him, there are restraining orders to keep him away from you. You are the only person that can honestly end this relationship that is going no where. I truly believe that if someone cheats once, most likely they will cheat again. I wish you luck and I hope this helps a little Thanks! Yes it does help! I know im the only one who can control what i can and cant do but maybe i dont know what i really want. Yes i do love him and all and would love to be with him but its too soon for me. I need some time. TO be honest though, i was happy when i heard bout him and his wife getting the div but now its like the total opposite. Maybe its cause i know what im doing and its not right but now i am just sad and depressed and feel bad for him. |
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Thanks for ur advice littleike. Hopefully you dont judge me like the rest of them people reading this is doing. Yes we are all humans and do make many mistakes....believe me i am learning from my mistakes! Yes we all make mistakes!!!! so it would be nice for those to keep their judgemental attitudes out of this...but you did ask for advise and I believe most have honestly tried to give you suggestions. I think we all know it's WRONG to get involved in an extramarrital affair (whether sex is involved or not) but our hearts are sooooooo complicated and when we're stuggling with ourselves and our lives....then we do things we wouldn't normally do. We then have to live with the consequences!!!! If he's sep. and waiting for the divorce that's a diff. story altogether. I would still wait until the divorce is final for him to truly prove to you it's over. |
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Why is it that alot of people are attracted to older, married men? I am one of them! It sucks cuz I have falling for this guy whose married for almost 9yrs. We have been seeing each other for over a yr and a half now. I can actually say that I have deep feelings for him. What should I do? For my own experience, I've found that before I can even consider someone else, a void has to exist, or a place for someone special. From what I see, you have it a bit easier, being a single mother. If 1 1/2 years of being with someone who is already married and cheating isn't satisfying you, what do you think the next 1 1/2 years will be like if nothing changes? |
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