A young cowboy decided he wanted to become a gunslinger so he practiced
with his pistol till his accuracy was second to none, but he still
didn't feel he was fast enough on the draw.

One night he went into the saloon and over in the corner sat an old man.
The young cowboy recognized him as one of the best gunslingers around in
his day.

The young cowboy bought a bottle of whiskey and took it with a couple
glasses over to the table where the old man sat. He said if I buy you a
couple drinks will you give me some advice on how to be a better
gunslinger.

The old man took a drink and said first you are wearing your holster way
too high up on your hip, Tie it down on your leg and you will be able
to draw faster.

The young cowboy tied his holster down on his leg, drew his pistol and
shot the cuff link off the piano player. He then turned to the old man
and said that helped but how can I draw faster yet.

The old man said, cut your holster down so you can get your thumb on the
hammer quicker, that will allow you to **** the gun faster.

The young cowboy took out his knife and cut a notch in the holster for
the hammer, then drew his gun and shot the bow tie off the piano player.

He said what else can you tell me old timer. The old man said see that
jar of bacon grease up on the bar. The young cowboy said yes, the old
man said get it and grease your gun up real good. the young cowboy said
you mean grease the barrel? The old man said no grease the whole thing
handle and all.

The young cowboy said how will that make me draw faster, the old man
said it won't but when Wyatt Earp gets done playing the piano he is
going to come over here and stuff that pistol up your butt and if you
grease it good it won't hurt as much.