I get comfortable and put on the head phones and got classic country
music singing about other peoples blues. I light a smoke and I sit and
think of words to dance with to enlighten your interest. Like the
weather that has been so unsettled you know one day its fine and other
day it reminds all of us of it power. I exhale some smoke and watch it
drift away to the heavens and think of what to write. Like most I had
dreams as a child I swore to myself I'd never want to feel hate. As the
teen years rolled in my existence I found I had a love of words and
furthermore drugs and alcohol so I thought helped me dream. I went
through to many painful days and still I loved the bottles that I
thought held my dreams. Then with grace of a existence of some higher
power greater then me I was saved. But before my eye's were opened and I
couldn't stop it I lost all I had. I love to share this last day of
misery with all only to give hope to the downtrodden and give them hope.
I want you understand that I don't share this for a way to get pity for
that is not true. So lets get on with this fable and you can make you up
your own mind on who it is you met. I worked hard and had what the
world and other's think a great life. I traveled the world had flash
cars and a boat to boot. But them dam bottles were never far from reach
and there anger was getting ready to explode. I came home to find my
family gone and a note said that she was sorry. She explained that I was
smartest man she ever met and yet I let my hands hug bottles. I fell to
the ground and unable to understand my own heart I cried. Then for
comfort I ran to my old friend the bottle that held me in it's grip.
Days turned to night and nights turned to days and my anger was placed
upon my soul. A man from immigration came to see me he brought words
gloom. I can still see his face he was young but some how I could his
worry of my soul in his eye's. He pleaded with me to put the bottle
down. His eye's shifted around my house there was nothing left I told
her to take it all. He then with a scratchy voice told me I had to go
back to U.S.A. and if don't leave they will be forced to remove me. I
bought my ticket and had a two week lay over and lots of money to drink.
Three days to go Ive been drunk for days and to punish soul even more I
didn't consume food. I rent a very expensive room and the bell hops
became my friend and my servants. I drink so much I fall to the ground
and yet my eye's could still see life around me my body was unable to
move. There are people all around me now their taking me some where I
don't want to go. I scream out but no words escapes from from mouth I
start to pray. I can see I'm in hospital doctors are working on me with
great energy. I can hear and see them why wont they listen I'm here stop
please stop this apparition make them all go away. The light fads fast
and my eye's start to fall into a darkness of the life unknown. I didn't
see God nor did I hear angles singing songs of hope. As weird as this
may sound I'll tell what I saw. There was my girl Rebecca she was crying
she looked so sad. I ask her to come and hug me I'm begging her but she
just stood there and shook her head. I'm screaming why why and she just
shakes her head and cry's. She turn and starts to leave when I scream
out "why do you love me why?" She turned around and only said to me
"cause I do dad cause I do." And just like that she's gone and I then
start to feel body come back and it's hurting I'm in pain. I'm laying in
a hospital room the lights are bright and I can hear what I assume to be
voices whispering in back of the room. Then I see a nurse she telling me
not to talk and she injects the tube and I fall into a fitful sleep. I
was told they kept me induced for two day I guess I slept. I woke and I
saw my friend whom was a doctor sleeping in a chair next to my bed. I
stammer out some words he wakes his eye's are blood shot and his
appearance looked un kept. His words weren't heard from my ear's but
were uttered into my heart. "Joe I lost you and I cried out to Lord to
forgive you but he didn't heed to my pleading. My hands pounded upon
your chest effortlessly try to start your heart. My colleagues declared
you dead telling me to conceive. I kept undertaking my own will for you
to prevail and be able remain alive. Then the monitor beeped and your
heart started and his decree for me to be saved was heard". I could see
his tears and his hands shook with uncontrolled feeling that embraced
own own hand. I remained in hospital for three week unable to read, talk
or even really think. I was starting to think I had a wet brain and I
just wanted to die. Then I asked the Lord to help me but still there was
nothing till I repented and begged to be forgiven. That was a year and
half ago and I never again ever felt the need to bottle my feeling
again. I don't preach nor do I run around begging people to give there
soul. What I do is share my life with hope it may save. Don't get this
wrong I don't think you have any problems I just felt like sharing with
you a glimpse of my life. Today my life is happy and I know I'll once
again have what I lost and plus even more. It be nice to have a friend
to share my life with cause I got some much to share. You see I'm one
voice but I'm a voice that will be heard. I'm excited everyday now to
learn how to make my voice heard and even more I can't wait to see what
my future has in store for me. Well I guess I shocked your eye's enough
and hope your not running for shelter I hope to hear from you again. Oh
yeah let me ask one thing don't for get to smile for the world smiles
trust me.

then ya must be doin' good---hey--welcome to jsh-----

Hey Dont, who and what do YOU THINK YOU ARE????

HOW DARE "YOU" COME ON HERE,,,,WITH NOTHING TO "SAY"!!! LOL

JUST A HINT, Most here lose concentration with a LONG
sentence,,,,,,,let alone a small book,lol..

Welcome here and have and MAKE some FUN HERE!!!

We just don't like to all read that much, unless it is some REALLY HOT
ROMANTIC TRASH about someone else!!! LOL..

dang that was looong..but very good..thank you for sharing..

those could have been my fathers words, but he never woke again. He was
a truely remarkable man, the bottle jut got him in the end.

Thanks for sharing........

that prolly would've taken me 3 days to type all that lol

you lost me at hello...